Sarah Palin is Confused and Upset and Wearing Frosted Lipstick For…

Hopeful that a foray into 1984 fashion would bring about a 1984-style President with Reaganesque hair, Sarah Palin, expert clause attacher, appeared on Fox News last night to appear very worried and upset, and let America know that we're living in a "perplexing time." That makes one of us, Sarah. » 11/07/12 4:20pm 11/07/12 4:20pm

Let's Send Pizza to People Waiting in Long Lines to Vote

There are people — Americans! — who are currently attempting to vote for President. Unfortunately, the lines are DMV long, there aren't enough voting machines in Ohio (thanks, John Husted, ya jagoff!), and it's very cold and boring to stand in line. To remedy this and keep people's spirits up, why not send those on the … » 11/06/12 7:15pm 11/06/12 7:15pm

Catholic Newspaper Calls Obama 'More Pro-Life' Than Romney

Now that he's picked a running mate who basically believes that fetuses should run things, Mitt Romney seems to have his "pro-life" cred sewn up. After all, he's against abortion, his friends are against abortion, and his new bromantic partner is super extra against it. And that should bring all the religious… » 8/13/12 5:30pm 8/13/12 5:30pm

Both Presidential Candidates Want You to Know they Love You Very, Very …

Some sunny side up Suzies might claim that all this political negativity is getting them down, but I love this part of the election cycle, the part where both major parties pretend that if they're elected, the needs of women will be their #1 highest priority. This week, the courtship of the American lady voter kicked… » 8/10/12 11:00am 8/10/12 11:00am

Jenna Jameson Offers Mitt Romney Key 'Wealthy Former Porn Star'…

Finally, the political world can exhale — after months of anticipation, former adult film star Jenna Jameson has announced who she will be voting for in this November's Presidential election: former Massachusetts governor, possibly non-taxpaying rich cartoon dad Mittens Romney. But her reasoning behind her choice is… » 8/03/12 5:30pm 8/03/12 5:30pm

Mitt Romney Will Spend the Fourth of July With Lady VP Hopeful

Your most productive plans for the Fourth of July might involve a vodka-infused watermelon, but Mitt Romney probably won't be doing much relaxing during his annual family vacation at his lakefront home near Wolfeboro, New Hampshire (which includes a terrifying-sounding activity called the "Romney Olympics," Oh My God):… » 7/03/12 11:00am 7/03/12 11:00am

Planned Parenthood Hopes Romney Hangs Himself With His Own Rope

Well, Mitt Romney finally clinched the Republican nomination, also known as the National Competition to Prove Who Loves Unborn Children the Most. The presidential hopeful had to make a whole lot of anti-already-born-women promises to win that title: he said on record that he believes Roe v. Wade should be overturned,… » 5/30/12 2:00pm 5/30/12 2:00pm

Who Gives a Shit if Mitt Romney is Nice to People He Already Likes?

Last week, we all learned that GOP Presidential hopeful Mitt Romney was kind of an alpha dick in high school. But there's another side to Mitt Romney, a side that is actually kind of nice sometimes to people within his own religious community or people to whom he is personally connected. Um, congratulations for meeting … » 5/15/12 10:00am 5/15/12 10:00am

Four Fabulous Fibs From The Scrumtrelescent Mind of Michele Bachmann

After years of being out-deceived by men, women are finally catching up. And leading the charge is Minnesota dynamo Michele Bachmann, obliterating the Lies-Out-The-Ass Ceiling and clearing the way for the rest of America's female liars to believe that they too can fake it all the way to the top. How much did she fib… » 10/12/11 5:10pm 10/12/11 5:10pm

Alas, Michele Bachmann Is Probably Running For President

What the world really needs right now is a presidential candidacy from Michele Bachmann, who has been making major moves in that direction. You may recall Bachmann as presidential material from this crazy-eyes "response" to the State Of The Union. » 3/25/11 4:30pm 3/25/11 4:30pm

Tim Gunn: Elected Officials Make Appalling Fashion Choices

Tim Gunn never ceases to amaze. Project Runway's father hen showed up on last night's Daily Show, where he and Jon Stewart discussed the show, fashion, and fashion week, and Gunn totally won Stewart over; you could feel the love! Gunn also had winning views about the upcoming elections — specifically, how the… » 2/05/08 3:30pm 2/05/08 3:30pm