It's Christmas!!!!! But who cares, because it's RUINED.
Christmas is only a few days away, Hanukkah is almost over and you've only got a week until New Year's (if that's when you receive presents under your pillow) to get your shit together and make certain you're making the most out of the holiday season — receiving everything on your list. Think you're out of time? Think…
As Christmas rushes ever closer, more and more people are getting anxious about their holiday packages. Is it the mail that's slow this year or are presents being stolen, wonders everyone who hasn't received their package from Amazon Prime. And one couple, whose mail woes really was caused by thieves decided to take…
Weddings: Who needs them? It's just a bunch of sitting around, oohing and aahing over someone's expensive one-use dress and eating canapes while a bossa nova version of "Happy" is played over an aging sound system. One couple decided to forego all that nonsense with one typo.
The lucky 17-year-old girl #blessed by the generous hand of Taylor Swift, patron saint of wearing dresses to the gym, has still not spent the $90 the songstress gave her for her birthday dinner at Chipotle.
Well, Christmas is officially over. Your house is a mess of wrapping paper, pine needles, tinsel, tinsel your cat threw up and empty bottles of Jack Daniels and peppermint schnapps, and you're left with nothing to do but try to find your sanity in this unholy mess.
Holiday anecdote: this year, Santa brought me a rape whistle.
With Hannukkah upon us and Christmas right around the corner, we received a plea from a reader to tackle gifts for girls.
Black Friday draweth closer and with it, the intensifying pressure to get a leg up on your holiday shopping. You know the routine: unload your wallets and stuff those stockings.
It's November 25 — exactly one month until Christmas, exactly one month to watch Elf on repeat — and even if you think the gift-giving season shouldn't officially start until the turkey dinner has been reduced to leftovers, it's already happening. Black Friday and Cyber Monday — why even wait for those? Everyone's got…
Actually, after looking at this list of gifts couples were given to celebrate their most precious union — a wrapped banana, a "bad oil painting of [their] cats" and a meerkat garden ornament — I'm starting to think these newlyweds are doing the right thing.
Do you miss giving out Valentine's at school? No? You don't miss a mandatory activity that somehow managed to still hurt some feelings? Weirdo!
Chatty the orange cat, clearly the Daria of your average domestic feline, can't believe that her owners are taking this whole gift-giving thing so seriously. If Chatty were human, she would complain, "God, are we really listening to holllllliday music? I mean, like, did you know that Christmas trees actually began as…
In the course of holiday shopping, you'll inevitably come across some gifts you didn't even know existed. But what about the flipside — gifts that really should exist, but for some reason do not? Below, a list of gifts we'd really like to see — manufacturers take note!
Dana Zemack has been making stick figure comics since she was 12. This week, she made one just for us.
Whether you've got a drinker or two on your present list, or have judged yourself in need of a little holiday cheer, alcohol is a holiday gift-giving staple. It's widely available, and everyone — well, everyone except maybe alcoholics — loves getting it. Here is a selection of the alcohols I've most enjoyed in the…
When Jimmy Kimmel put out a call for parents to give their kids something undesirable as an early Christmas present — and capture the kids' reactions on camera, of course — viewers obliged in droves. The end result, this compilation, is fantastically entertaining. Our personal favorite is the "gender norm" family,…
It's tough to buy for the friend who has everything — but what about the friend who hates everything? Never fear: we have suggestions to help you melt your most curmudgeonly buddy's frozen, twisted heart — or at least help her revel in its twistedness.