When a national news outlet like USA Today runs an article about what the country's "seers" are predicting for 2014, it makes one realize how small the distance is between our modern world and a world in which a haruspex in a funny hat would cut open a sheep in front of an anxious crowd, puzzle over the liver, and say…

It's hard to be a teenage girl in any decade, but it's exponentially more traumatizing to go through puberty these days thanks to social media. Here are our predictions for why it'll be even shittier to be a teenage girl on the internet in 2013.

Nate Silver, will you please get your bestie Dumbledore on the line? Or at least send an owl to Clortho? We've got a teen witch on our hands and it's not Robyn Lively, so take that! (sorry)

Before Punxsutawney Phil ever saw his shadow, druids were predicting the future using the position of the sun over Stonehenge. Or at least, one did so this year. Arch druid Rollo Maughfling says the fact that the sun rose over the ancient rock structure just as his winter solstice ceremony was ending is a good omen…

No tweets. No new photos. No reports from jail or rehab. No quotes from Dina or Michael. Could we be in for one full day without Lindsay Lohan? And which day is it most likely to be? Let's get serious.

Punxsutawney Phil reared his head this morning in Pennsylvania and predicted six more weeks of winter. The famous groundhog saw his shadow at dawn on Gobbler's Knob as members of the Groundhog Club announced the painfully bad news. [NPR]

Mediabistro asked one pair of industry insiders about their publishing predictions for the decade to come. Among them? "95% of all reading will be on screens" and "most authors will be indie authors." [Mediabistro]

Mathematicians have developed a formula which they claim predicts the success of a marriage. Tested on 700 newlyweds over the course of 12 years, the predictions were found to be 94% accurate. [Daily Mail]