From the looks of it, Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin have been enjoying a jolly ol’ time together at the G-20 summit. Seated beneath their countries’ flags, they engaged in acute manspreading and warmly shook hands as Putin took the measure of the autocratic sucker beaming before him. Trump also tweeted…
Donald Trump—the human equivalent of a teenage boy slumber party abundant in erections and pimples—has lately engaged in some tough guy talk regarding North Korea. And in turn, North Korea’s government has suggested that Trump stop tweeting pugnacious nonsense if he doesn’t want trouble. But amidst these crackling…
Eighty-one days ago, a begrimed burlap puppet choked by a red power tie flopped into the Oval Office. And now, as his first 100 days as President come to a lugubrious close, the White House must try to convince us that they weren’t an utter disaster. Sad!
Kellyanne Conway—word salad generator and Counselor to the President—no doubt spends a great deal of time in the Oval Office. So why should it be any surprise that, after a month, she has dispensed with formalities?
Last night, our meathead-in-chief headed to the Trump Hotel in downtown Washington, D.C. for a steak dinner at the BLT Steakhouse. And wouldn’t you know that he managed to make it completely unappetizing!
On Sunday, Republican senator John McCain appeared—remotely—on NBC’s Meet the Press, where he pussyfooted around critiques of President Trump while still implying that his administration is bucking against the order of the free world. He did, however, state outright that “President Trump is not trying to be a…
British Prime Minister Theresa May invited Donald Trump, our fluorescent ham rump-in-chief, to visit the United Kingdom just days after his inauguration. On this trip, he would meet Queen Elizabeth II (heaven help her) and, typically, he would address Parliament. But there’s a slight wrinkle in this itinerary:…
Donald Trump—an autocratic embodied Twitter egg who also happens to run the country—implicitly defended Vladimir Putin in a Sunday Fox News interview even though the latter is, in Bill O’Reilly’s words, “a killer.”
California State Senator Nancy Skinner of Berkeley—one of the many legislators who objects to President Trump’s targeted travel ban—has called for the release of Melania Trump’s immigration papers. This demand is tied to a more general protest against the executive order so toxic to the welfare of thousands of…
On Monday evening, President Donald Trump fired acting Attorney General Sally Yates—the Justice Department’s top official—after she refused to defend his xenophobic executive order barring entry to refugees and travelers from predominately Muslim countries.
Donald Trump, a clump of moldering chickpeas and the 45th President of the United States, is quite agitated over the prevailing negative response to his inauguration: the dinky crowd, the roaring protests, the tweets — oh the tweets! So, what’s our churlish presidential meat pie to do? The answer, my pals, is obvious:…
Donald Trump concealed his tax returns during his protracted presidential campaign, refusing to disclose them even after his election on November 8. So it probably comes as no surprise that our new, demented Chia-Pet-in-Chief will not release them now.
Chris Suprun is a paramedic from Dallas, Texas. A Republican member of the Electoral College, he has previously voiced his support for PEOTUS and poorly dressed meatball Donald Trump. In the last month, however, Suprun has changed his mind.
Oprah Winfrey will be the last person to interview Michelle Obama before the Obamas leave the White House in January, taking with them our sanity.
President-elect Donald Trump, a radioactive double chin with a Twitter account, has demonstrated time and again that his skin—though infused with neon bacteria—is perilously thin. And now, as Hillary Clinton’s popular vote steadily eclipses his own, and as Green Party presidential nominee Jill Stein begins submitting …
As we reach the twilight of 2016, I realize that no horror or indignity can be brushed away as an impossibility. David Bowie and Prince are not, in fact, immortal. After 400 years, Native Americans are still fighting for just sovereignty over their land. The country elected a misogynist double-chinned boil as…
My darlings. My poppets. We’ve had a long and wretched week, haven’t we? I spent election night sobbing into consecutive glasses of pinot grigio, texting professions of love to friends as if doomsday were nigh (if I missed you, my apologies — I was sorely distressed). In fact, I might still be drinking inside of a…
Because the United States has elected Donald Trump—a toxic Hot Pocket glued to a micropenis—to serve as our nation’s president, it’s crucial to parse the conflicts of interest that might influence his judgment while in office. Unsurprisingly, the boundary between his political and business endeavors is a feeble one.
Monday night, on the Halloween episode of Full Frontal, Samantha Bee sat down with President Barack Obama to discuss the upcoming election and getting young people to vote. To celebrate the holiday, she then asked for a scary story and Obama, against my advisement, took a page from you people.
It’s been a heavy news night, hasn’t it, poppets? And on Halloween, to boot! So I think it’s only fair that we wrap up the evening with something pleasant: President Barack Obama flexing with a tiny Superman.
