Pope Francis has nixed his plan for a tribunal that would prosecute bishops who fail to treat pedophilic priests as criminals, opting instead only to strengthen existing statutes.
During a three-day long celebration of the most blessed group of people on Earth—teens, obviously—Pope Francis dispensed some advice that was very much not lit.
This year, Pope Francis officially decreed that he’d be touching some lady feet on Holy Thursday.
Pope Francis is reportedly getting his very own Instagram account. Can’t wait to watch the fights that’ll occur in the comments on his every post!
Do you ever have a moment that takes you so far out of your own sanity that you begin to question if this little journey around the sun called life is even real? Well, Donald Trump is fighting with the Pope, so, there you go. Enjoy the trip.
Pope Francis did not bring up the Zika virus during his six-day visit in Central America, but that didn’t stop the Vatican from weighing in.
Almost Academy Award-winner Leonardo DiCaprio, looking jarringly clean, cleaner than he has looked since he dated Blake Lively, maybe, met Pope Francis in Vatican City on Thursday to teach him about the environment and art. The Associated Press has helpfully provided video footage.
A new Gallup poll shows that Hillary Clinton has been named the most admired woman in America for 20 years in a row. That victory might be a little sweeter if the poll wasn’t pretty clearly based on name recognition alone: Americans also say they admire President Obama, Pope Francis, Donald Trump, and—sure, why…
The film critic for L’Osservatore Romano, the Vatican newspaper owned by the Holy See, saw Star War: The Force Gets Woke and didn’t like it as much as the overwhelming majority of critics did. This is funny for countless reasons, the most important being the image of bishops quietly saying things like “Chewbacca” and…
Slovenia has voted to overturn a law that would have given same-sex couples the ability to marry and adopt children. That’s after none other than Our Problematic Fave Pope Francis weighed in, telling Slovenian pilgrims days before the vote that the country had to “to support the family, a structural reference point…
Pope Francis says put down your smartphone for five goddamn minutes and please join your family at the dinner table. No, he doesn’t care that Quantico is on and it’s leftover meatloaf, anyway.
Kim Davis, a famously ineffective Kentucky county clerk, has been strutting all over the fucking media, being like “I am a true Christian because I took a meeting with the Pope.” It turns out that meeting was really more like a late-night text conversation, in which Davis wrote, “Hey babe, wanna cum over?” and the…
Last night, Kim Davis’s lawyer and an obscure Catholic magazine claimed that Kim Davis met with the Pope in Washington D.C last week. This morning, Davis told ABC she did totally meet with the Pope. It all sounded like bullshit, but indeed, the Vatican has briefly confirmed the meeting took place and that they don’t…
While addressing Congress on Thursday, Pope Francis took a sip of water from a glass at his side. Afterwards, Congressman Bob Brady stole the glass, brought it back to his office, and drank from it.
In his address to Congress Thursday, the Pope reminded them of all the people and things they’re busily trying to forget about or have spent their careers legislating against (the poor, the oppressed, people in prison, the environment). He also gave several surprising and touching tributes to one of the heroes of the…
Sofi Cruz, the five-year-old daughter of Oaxacan immigrants to Los Angeles, was carried over a security barrier today in Washington and taken to greet Pope Francis. The little girl hugged him ecstatically around the neck, then handed him a letter asking him to fight for immigrants.
In today’s Tweet Beat, Madonna is getting ideas, Kanye makes someone wear some very big boots and the Pope needs our prayers.
On September 25, Pope Francis will travel through Central Park to meet New York’s faithful. In preparation, New Yorkers are doing what they do best: trying to fleece each other out of a few bucks. Enterprising scalpers jockeying for their place in Hell reserved free papal visit tickets and are now trying to sell them…
Chill Pope Francis is continuing his reign, this week making it easier for Catholics to back out of marriage mistakes.
