Pop Songs Are Unpredictably Predictable
It turns out that hit pop songs aren’t so random and when we say we’re "not really listening to the lyrics" we, in fact, are.
Here's Beyoncé's 'Drunk In Love' Expressed Completely in Emojis
Because you haven't heard this song enough yet (and you won't until at least fall 2014, when it will be replaced on the radio with a billion amazing remixes of "***flawless"), here's an unofficial video for Beyoncé's "Drunk In Love" made entirely of emojis.
Ke$ha Dances Around in Her Laundry Day Outfit in the ‘Dirty Love’ Video
Last night, as you were doing whatever is you crazy kids do to celebrate Pope Gregory XIII's calendar meddling, your favorite drunk friend Ke$ha uploaded a video for her song "Dirty Love" off of her sophomore album, Warrior. Glitter, of course, makes a very important appearance, but it plays second fiddle this time to…
The New Beyoncé Album Just Got All These People Pregnant
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Somewhere between the pussy-eating sex jam "Blow" and feminist author Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie's cameo on Flawless, I thought to myself, "Holy shit, this new Beyoncé album is getting me pregnant." I took to Twitter to express this, only to discover that the new Beyoncé album is apparently getting a lot of people pregnant.
Paul Rudd, One Direction’s Most Shameless Adult Fan
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The guileless Paul Rudd sells his One Direction fanhood so hard that it almost doesn't seem creepy for him to mill around outside of a concert with the boyband's legion of young girl fans, exchanging gossip, braiding hair, and asserting his primacy as the most ardent and shameless of all the One Direction fans in the…
Katy Perry Says She’s Basically the Last Non-Naked Pop Singer
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A lot of people (ahem, Rashida Jones) have a lot of opinions about what lady pop singers are wearing these days, harumph! Whatever these doggone flappers are wearing, it’s not enough, at least not for the likes of Jones and the most tasteful and modest pop singer of them all, Katy Perry, who is starting more and more…
The Many Sexual Euphemisms on Katy Perry's Filthy, Awesome New Album
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Katy Perry, that cheeky, maybe culturally problematic but fun-as-hell pop chanteuse, has a new album hitting stores and iTunes, etc tomorrow. And, I'm happy to report that if you love sparkly, giddy, Most-Popular-Girl-In-School-Reads-The-Yearbook-Aloud sugar-pop it's perfect. It's also filthy.
We Need to Talk About Taylor Swift's New Single
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I'm very conflicted re: Taylor Swift. I agree with Dodai that she's a feminist's nightmare, and I understand that her new single, "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together," is essentially one very long redundant whine geared towards spurned 13-year-olds.
Japan Enlists Pop Girl Group to Do Something About the Economy
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Japan has broken free from the long chain of unsatisfying ideas on how to stop global and national economies from sucking so bad by enlisting the help of pop group and wireless router serial number AKB48 to sell government bonds. The country, which is heavily indebted, could use some help — Japan's Prime Minister…
Pop Album By Uzbekistan Dictator's Daughter Promises to be Hilariously…
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Everyone, your prayers have been answered. Gulnara Karimova, the celebutante daughter of the dictator of Uzbekistan, is going to release another album. This album is going to be Lohan-meets-Real Housewife levels of bad and I can't fucking wait.
Teen Brain Waves Can Predict Pop Music Hits
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From Britney Spears to the Bieb, it's clear that teens' not-quite-developed brains influence who becomes a pop star. Now a new study shows that studying kids' neural reactions can predict if a song will become a hit, even if they say they hate it.
Lady Gaga Reveals The Only Controversial Thing About "Judas" Video
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In the video for Lady Gaga's "Judas," Jesus has cornrows. The disciples are a leather-clad motorcycle gang. Gaga wears a bikini top featuring nipple-hiding crosses, and folks are anointed with holy water and beer. But as Gaga tells E!:
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The Mystery & Mockery Of Rebecca Black
Rebecca Black's music video, "Friday," has gone viral, with more than 2.2 million views in a little over a month, and not because it's good. The song is comically absurd, with ridiculously simplistic lyrics; the video involves literally acting out those lyrics and features a bunch of kids trying really hard to seem…
Rihanna's New Video Celebrates Ball-Gags, Whips & Latex
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RiRi frolics with blow-up dolls and sings, "Sex in the air. I don't care. I love the smell of it. Sticks and stones may break my bones but chains and whips excite me." BDSM enthusiast, or attempting to be edgy?
Lindsay Lohan Could Be The Antidote To Taylor Swift Overload
The music of Taylor Swift and Lindsay Lohan may not deserve an intelligent, 1,400-word analysis, but this essay will make you appreciate the fact that Lindsay never released a song about her breakup with Wilmer Valderrama.
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14-Year-Old Kendall Jenner Bares Belly, Panties In Boy Band Video
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One Call's "BlackLight" stars Kendall Jenner, Kevin McHale (Artie from Glee) and Ashley Benson from Pretty Little Liars. If Kendall's writhing upskirt shots don't make you sad, maybe the Auto-Tune will? A warning: Watching this may make you feel old.
9-Year-Old Willow Smith's New Song Is Banging
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"Whip My Hair" hits hard; some think she sounds like Rihanna. Does she only have this track because her father is Will Smith? Maybe! But she says, "I'm just tryin' to have fun." Also, something about haters. Check it out:
Fan Buys Hundreds Of CDs To Save Christina Aguilera's Career
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One dedicated Christina Aguilera fan recently bought 250 copies of her album "Bionic" in attempts to "save" Aguilera's career. He also has another aim: to fuck with Perez Hilton, who has been writing nasty things about his favorite singer. [BuzzFeed]