Frustrated Couple Fills Box Full of Poop for Present-Pilfering Thief

As Christmas rushes ever closer, more and more people are getting anxious about their holiday packages. Is it the mail that's slow this year or are presents being stolen, wonders everyone who hasn't received their package from Amazon Prime. And one couple, whose mail woes really was caused by thieves decided to take… » 12/11/14 4:30pm 12/11/14 4:30pm

​Would You Use This Odor-Eating Toilet Seat?

For some reason, we seem to have a problem understanding that feces are, indeed, smelly. We smell millions, possibly billions of dollars trying to hide away a fact of the human body in what I like to refer to as *pushes up glasses* *pulls down overhead screen* *whips out pointer thing* the Poop Industrial Complex.… » 11/22/14 4:18pm 11/22/14 4:18pm

Woman Shits All Over Herself During Hot and Heavy One Night Stand

Here's the truth: One night stands, outside of the sex part, are pretty awful. Especially if you need to use the bathroom or make a quick getaway or accidentally shit yourself because you didn't carefully consider what you were going to eat beforehand. See? Awful. And here's a tale to prove it. » 10/27/14 10:30pm 10/27/14 10:30pm

Sorority Girls Allegedly Shitting All Over Mississippi State's Campus

End of summer got you down in the dumps? You're not alone. In fact, nowhere in America is it shittier right now than it is on Mississippi State's campus, where a roving band of feral female undergraduates are allegedly shitting all over the place in an attempt to impress their desired sorority with their prolific… » 9/08/14 1:30pm 9/08/14 1:30pm

'Logging' Is the Revolting New Poop Craze That Must. Stop. Now.

Poop ruins everything. And at the Holiday Village Red Sea resort in Egypt, it's ruining everyone's vacations. Because British tourists (probably members of One Direction) are finding fun and merriment by relieving themselves of their lunch in the still blue waters of the resort pools. Is it a trend? Well, the hotel is… » 8/12/14 4:30pm 8/12/14 4:30pm

​Why Is There Poop on My Thong? An Investigation


If you are a woman who wears a thong, perhaps you have encountered a moment wherein upon removal of said thong, there is something which appears to be poop-like on the string. You know how to wipe; hygiene is a priority to you. This is no doubt poop-plexing. What is causing this scourge? And how to avoid it? » 8/07/14 1:00pm 8/07/14 1:00pm

Gay Sex Is Like Eight People Taking a Dump in Your Bed, Says GOP Genius

Remember Steve "Your Butt Is a Garbage Alley" Hickey from last week? Well, he's BACK! Already!!! With more butt stuff!!!!! You'd think that being made fun of by the entire nation for being an anus-obsessed weirdo who maybe doesn't know how sex works might cause a person to walk back their poo-themed anti-gay rhetoric,… » 5/07/14 3:15pm 5/07/14 3:15pm

Come On, How Often Do You Really Have to Poop on a Date?

I'm not trying to stir up, er, poo, but I have to ask: How often do you really need to drop a deuce on a date? Isn't this precisely the sort of thing you would do before a date, like, as part of your whole getting ready for the date thing? Shit shower shave is not just for dudes, k? But a book out soon promises to… » 3/21/14 7:00pm 3/21/14 7:00pm