Early Monday afternoon I read an article with a headline that reads “First poo-themed dessert café set to open in Canada.” The Independent’s use of “first” sort of implies that Canadians are all breathing a sigh of relief that it finally exists, but did any of them actually ask for this? Are “poo-themed dessert cafes”…
A man who tried to cover two women in poop on New York’s Upper East Side has been caught. That being said, I’m still out of this city.
A man on Manhattan’s Upper East Side attempted to shove a bag of poop down a woman’s shorts on Monday. I can’t live here anymore, bye.
In her new book Bite Me, Ally Hilfiger—star of the seminal MTV reality show Rich Girls, daughter of Tommy Hilfiger, and sufferer of chronic Lyme disease—describes a moment in which she served her father a platter of poop.
Here’s what the fashion people don’t want you to see!!
So, here’s the situation: you’re going to get poop on you. The reasons why aren’t important, not for the purposes of this hypothetical, just: there’s going to be shit—people shit—either in your mouth or your eyes. Someone’s going to put it there. Which do you choose? How come? Is there a self-evidently better choice…
Incredibly heartwarming and romantic: A young woman wore a poop emoji costume to ask a guy to homecoming.
Before Sandra Bullock’s boyfriend had a name, he was simply the “super hot” and “super normal” guy she was allegedly seeing. But now that we know his name (Bryan Randall), we’re beginning to learn all kinds of new things about him - like how he was once accused of smearing dog shit on someone’s door.
Would you ever go to a poop cafe? Just answer the question, don’t be a child about this.
All this time you were worried about the water, but the sand is the real problem.
Last week, the internet erupted with the news that beards, those beautiful things that hide men’s weak chins and childhood acne scars, are chock-full of something more than manliness—and that something is poop. For anyone either excited or horrified by this news (my immediate reaction was to go drag my bearded face…
More good news from England, everyone! Not only is the Duchess Kate about to have a baby, but Fatberg, a 10-ton mass of lumpy fat globules and the bloated and soiled remains of wet wipes, has been removed from a Chelsea sewer...which it had just broken.
If your answer is "because nobody would want it," you are wrong, because a fecal bank called OpenBiome will buy your poop to the tune of $13,000 a year.
First of all, we need to get over the fact that anal piercings exist. They exist. Second of all, we all need to understand that in order for a piercing to happen, an anus has to relax. And what happens when you add one traumatic experience to one relaxed anus? Disaster.
As Christmas rushes ever closer, more and more people are getting anxious about their holiday packages. Is it the mail that's slow this year or are presents being stolen, wonders everyone who hasn't received their package from Amazon Prime. And one couple, whose mail woes really was caused by thieves decided to take…
For some reason, we seem to have a problem understanding that feces are, indeed, smelly. We smell millions, possibly billions of dollars trying to hide away a fact of the human body in what I like to refer to as *pushes up glasses* *pulls down overhead screen* *whips out pointer thing* the Poop Industrial Complex. …
Here's the truth: One night stands, outside of the sex part, are pretty awful. Especially if you need to use the bathroom or make a quick getaway or accidentally shit yourself because you didn't carefully consider what you were going to eat beforehand. See? Awful. And here's a tale to prove it.
I've never seen Frozen, so I am just going to assume the movie was one giant metaphor about bowel movements because this young lady's version of "Let It Go" just spoke to me. Interestingly enough, now that I think it's about poop, I actually want to see Frozen.
You're supposed to squat when you poop. Did you hear me? Squatting. While pooping. Is the way to do it. Not this hunching-over thing you're doing now which takes forever and is not nature's way. Everyone else has figured it out and you are the last person still retro-pooping, so let's get you on the right path.