Sorority Girls Allegedly Shitting All Over Mississippi State's Campus

End of summer got you down in the dumps? You're not alone. In fact, nowhere in America is it shittier right now than it is on Mississippi State's campus, where a roving band of feral female undergraduates are allegedly shitting all over the place in an attempt to impress their desired sorority with their prolific… » 9/08/14 1:30pm 9/08/14 1:30pm

'Logging' Is the Revolting New Poop Craze That Must. Stop. Now.

Poop ruins everything. And at the Holiday Village Red Sea resort in Egypt, it's ruining everyone's vacations. Because British tourists (probably members of One Direction) are finding fun and merriment by relieving themselves of their lunch in the still blue waters of the resort pools. Is it a trend? Well, the hotel is… » 8/12/14 4:30pm 8/12/14 4:30pm

​Why Is There Poop on My Thong? An Investigation


If you are a woman who wears a thong, perhaps you have encountered a moment wherein upon removal of said thong, there is something which appears to be poop-like on the string. You know how to wipe; hygiene is a priority to you. This is no doubt poop-plexing. What is causing this scourge? And how to avoid it? » 8/07/14 1:00pm 8/07/14 1:00pm

Gay Sex Is Like Eight People Taking a Dump in Your Bed, Says GOP Genius

Remember Steve "Your Butt Is a Garbage Alley" Hickey from last week? Well, he's BACK! Already!!! With more butt stuff!!!!! You'd think that being made fun of by the entire nation for being an anus-obsessed weirdo who maybe doesn't know how sex works might cause a person to walk back their poo-themed anti-gay rhetoric,… » 5/07/14 3:15pm 5/07/14 3:15pm

Come On, How Often Do You Really Have to Poop on a Date?

I'm not trying to stir up, er, poo, but I have to ask: How often do you really need to drop a deuce on a date? Isn't this precisely the sort of thing you would do before a date, like, as part of your whole getting ready for the date thing? Shit shower shave is not just for dudes, k? But a book out soon promises to… » 3/21/14 7:00pm 3/21/14 7:00pm

L.A., Soon to Be Drowning in Dog Poop, Bans Plastic Grocery Bags

Today marks a dark day in the annals of people who refuse to pick up after their dogs (or tethered goats — whatever you're into): Los Angeles has, with the New Year, instituted a ban on plastic grocery bags, meaning that L.A.-area residents will have to either provide their own bags or pay an extra ten cents for each… » 1/01/14 4:00pm 1/01/14 4:00pm

Here Is a Photo of Bright Blue Toddler Poop

I am not a person who is easily shocked, especially when it comes to shit. One time I watched with a blank face as a man took a dump on 40th Street and 10th Avenue and then wiped his butt by dragging his crack up the corner of a building. Whatever, it happens. But the unnatural rainbow of crap that's come out of my… » 12/13/13 1:40pm 12/13/13 1:40pm