AP Poll: Americans Are Over 2014, Really Looking Forward to 2015

According to a new Associated Press-Times Square Alliance poll, 50% of Americans think that 2015 is going to be a better year than 2014. While that is probably the most average statement one could possibly make at the end of any given year, the word AP uses to specifically describe this year? "Meh." How uninspiring… » 12/27/14 12:10pm 12/27/14 12:10pm

Hillary Clinton Is Most Admired Woman of the Year for the 18th Time

According to a Gallup poll conducted at the beginning of the month, Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton are the Most Admired Man and Woman of 2013. This comes as a surprise to pretty much no one, as 1) presidents are pretty much always given the title, and 2) both Obama and Clinton have won for the past few years. In… » 12/30/13 2:10pm 12/30/13 2:10pm

90% of Americans Don't Think They're Hipsters (All Hipsters Say That)

No one wants to admit they're a hipster and why would they? As a term, the only thing we can agree on is that it's negative, but other than that the definition is wishy-washy and constantly changing to suit whatever qualities the word's user is trying to detract from. In fact, in a recent poll, only 10% of the… » 5/14/13 2:20pm 5/14/13 2:20pm

There Are Apparently Some Americans Who Think Romney 'Favors the Poor'

According to some NBC poll, two percent of those surveyed think that Romney's economic policies favor the poor. I know it's a small number but still EXSQUEEZE ME?? Who are these two percent? A slightly intoxicated Scrooge McDuck who decided it would be fun to fuck with the pollsters? James Spader in Pretty in Pink?… » 11/06/12 10:30pm 11/06/12 10:30pm

Poll: What Kind Of Self Tanner Do You Think Mitt Romney Uses?

Rumor has it that Mitt Romney's weirdly inconsistent skin color is due to the fact that the candidate has been getting spray-tanned on the regular. This got us wondering...what self tanner does Willard Mitt Romney use? So we're taking a very scientific poll. » 10/25/12 4:00pm 10/25/12 4:00pm

Mitt Romney has taken pains to project the image of a man…

Conservative Group’s For-Sure ‘Unbiased’ Poll Reveals That New Yorkers…

New York, as in the city where dreams are dreamed, nourished, and unceremoniously flattened by overloaded subway cars and undermining drinking partners named Slack, recently launched a pilot program to freely and discreetly dispense the emergency contraception pill Plan B in 13 schools across the city. Soon after the… » 10/21/12 2:30pm 10/21/12 2:30pm