4Chan Is Why 'Feminist' Is Winning the TIME Poll of Words to Ban

Oh for God's sake: Time magazine is doing its annual reader poll of words and phrases that should be "banned" from the English language, and alongside worthy contenders like "disrupt" and "said no one ever," they've included the word "feminist." And because this is the Internet, guess which word is winning? » 11/12/14 1:40pm 11/12/14 1:40pm

Everyone You Know Is Getting Ebola

In a stunning example of the kind of mass hysteria Americans are known for (I see you with the devil, Goody Cyrus), a Harvard poll has found that one fourth of Americans believe that Ebola is alive and well and coming for them as you read this. In fact, you'd better lock your doors, because many believe it can fly… » 8/25/14 6:10pm 8/25/14 6:10pm

The British Have Naked Slumber Parties, but No One Else Is Invited

So not only are British men wallowing in grimy, fluid-dappled bedsheets, the British people — as in, the nation of proud, austere, emotionally cloistered monarch sycophants — are quite fond of sleeping naked, because all that stiff-upper-lip stuff needs some kind of an outlet, and going to bed without first corralling… » 9/07/13 4:00pm 9/07/13 4:00pm

If Nutella and Bacon Were Running Against Each Other for President, Who…

It's election season, American voters, and you know what that means — everything will be compared with everything else, starting, of course, with Nutella vs. bacon. Red carpet perambulators at the VMAs certainly offered their own flummoxed opinions about which food product constituted the yummier snack, but it's not… » 9/09/12 11:15pm 9/09/12 11:15pm

Republican Women Would Totally Hold Hands With Mitt Romney

Remember all that crappy crap about women that Mitt Romney kept saying during the socially conservative pissing contest that was the 2012 GOP primary season? Well, it looks like that's water under the bridge for women — the GOP Presidential nominee is getting more and more popular with the ladies by the day. He's so… » 5/31/12 3:20pm 5/31/12 3:20pm

Michele Bachmann Tells Tale of a Faraway Land Where All Ladies Love…

For a time after she withdrew from the presidential race, our favorite quote-generating maniac Michele Bachmann fell silent. It was a dark time for America, but thankfully she has emerged from the shadows and is once again letting her special brand of perma-smiled sun shine across this great land. She's making the… » 5/06/12 8:00pm 5/06/12 8:00pm

Are You Part of the Doomsday 10 Percent?

A new poll has found that almost 15 percent of people on the planet think the world is going to come to an end during their lifetime. What's even more bizarre is that a full 10 percent of people worldwide think the Mayan calendar points to it ending right here in 2012. Are you one of them? If so, why aren't you out in… » 5/02/12 11:00pm 5/02/12 11:00pm

All the Single Ladies Hate Romney, Love Obama

While Mitt Romney may have a well-established problem wooing women voters—his wife, excluded—it appears when you break it down that it's actually the single ladies he's striking out with. And he's not doing very well with single men either. The one group he is doing okay with? The marrieds. » 4/22/12 11:00pm 4/22/12 11:00pm

Obama Says He Fully Supports Planned Parenthood, Wins Ladies' Hearts

As the Republicans persist with their War on Women, President Obama continues his public insistence that, in fact, women are human beings who should be treated with respect. Last week, we saw the release of his campaign's masterful Gloria Steinem ad, and now he's released this statement to supporters of Planned… » 4/01/12 8:00pm 4/01/12 8:00pm

Shockingly, Most Americans Support Free Birth Control

If social conservatives were hoping to ride to the White House on tide of unquenchable Puritan backlash against President Obama's birth control mandate, they'll find their hopes tragically dashed. According to a new poll, the majority of Americans like the idea of giving birth control to anyone who wants it. » 2/23/12 1:40pm 2/23/12 1:40pm

Majority of Americans Want to Throw Congress in the Trash and Start Over

It's no secret that Congress is a total shitshow, unable to fix even the most minor problem. The good news is that they've finally gotten bad enough at their jobs that America has been roused from its usual stupor and is starting to take notice—and now we're ready to throw the bums out! Seriously, all of them. » 1/27/12 11:55am 1/27/12 11:55am

And Then There Were Two: The Worst Christmas Song Championship

After several arduous days of rending our eardrums with awful holiday songs, we've about reached the end of our journey. That's right, folks: today's the day we choose the champion of our December Madness tournament and officially choose The Worst Christmas Song of All Time.
» 12/20/11 2:30pm 12/20/11 2:30pm

December Madness: The Unsweet 16 Continues

As Christmas approaches, so too do we approach finding which holiday tune is the most terrible. Let your too-small heart shrink three more sizes and bury yourself with a sprig of holly in your heart and these terrible songs in your ears: Unsweet Sixteen voting continues right now. » 12/14/11 3:15pm 12/14/11 3:15pm

Fox News Anchor Is Shocked When Fox News Poll Says Obama Will Win In…

As hard as they might try to bend the facts (or just plain make them up), sometimes even Fox News anchors must contend with the harsh reality that not everyone thinks Barack Obama is an evil socialist. But somebody forgot to tell Gretchen Carlson that, and she got the shock of a lifetime when she learned that a poll… » 12/11/11 4:35pm 12/11/11 4:35pm

December Madness: The Tournament To Crown The Worst Christmas Song Ever…

Yesterday, we asked you to help us in our search for the Worst Christmas Song of All, and you responded with heartwarming haterade. Now, we've got a whole new set of abominable earworms upon which you may pass judgment. Let's join hands, raise our voices, and declare which of the terrible Christmas songs is truly the… » 12/08/11 3:10pm 12/08/11 3:10pm

Americans Still Aren't Fond Of Single Mothers

Despite America's fervent desire that Jennifer Aniston will spawn, with or without a man, a Pew Research Center poll found nearly seven out of 10 U.S. residents think single mothers are bad for society, UPI reports. » 2/17/11 9:25am 2/17/11 9:25am

Americans OK With Gay President

Fifty percent of those questioned in a 60 Minutes/Vanity Fair poll said they'd have no problem with a homosexual president. Even more said they'd support a gay Supreme Court justice, secretary of state, or Super Bowl quarterback. [VF, N.Y. Post] » 3/30/10 9:20am 3/30/10 9:20am