The British Have Naked Slumber Parties, but No One Else Is Invited

So not only are British men wallowing in grimy, fluid-dappled bedsheets, the British people — as in, the nation of proud, austere, emotionally cloistered monarch sycophants — are quite fond of sleeping naked, because all that stiff-upper-lip stuff needs some kind of an outlet, and going to bed without first corralling… » 9/07/13 4:00pm 9/07/13 4:00pm

If Nutella and Bacon Were Running Against Each Other for President,…

It's election season, American voters, and you know what that means — everything will be compared with everything else, starting, of course, with Nutella vs. bacon. Red carpet perambulators at the VMAs certainly offered their own flummoxed opinions about which food product constituted the yummier snack, but it's not… » 9/09/12 11:15pm 9/09/12 11:15pm

Republican Women Would Totally Hold Hands With Mitt Romney

Remember all that crappy crap about women that Mitt Romney kept saying during the socially conservative pissing contest that was the 2012 GOP primary season? Well, it looks like that's water under the bridge for women — the GOP Presidential nominee is getting more and more popular with the ladies by the day. He's so… » 5/31/12 3:20pm 5/31/12 3:20pm

Michele Bachmann Tells Tale of a Faraway Land Where All Ladies Love…

For a time after she withdrew from the presidential race, our favorite quote-generating maniac Michele Bachmann fell silent. It was a dark time for America, but thankfully she has emerged from the shadows and is once again letting her special brand of perma-smiled sun shine across this great land. She's making the… » 5/06/12 8:00pm 5/06/12 8:00pm

All the Single Ladies Hate Romney, Love Obama

While Mitt Romney may have a well-established problem wooing women voters—his wife, excluded—it appears when you break it down that it's actually the single ladies he's striking out with. And he's not doing very well with single men either. The one group he is doing okay with? The marrieds. » 4/22/12 11:00pm 4/22/12 11:00pm

Obama Says He Fully Supports Planned Parenthood, Wins Ladies' Hearts

As the Republicans persist with their War on Women, President Obama continues his public insistence that, in fact, women are human beings who should be treated with respect. Last week, we saw the release of his campaign's masterful Gloria Steinem ad, and now he's released this statement to supporters of Planned… » 4/01/12 8:00pm 4/01/12 8:00pm

Majority of Americans Want to Throw Congress in the Trash and Start…

It's no secret that Congress is a total shitshow, unable to fix even the most minor problem. The good news is that they've finally gotten bad enough at their jobs that America has been roused from its usual stupor and is starting to take notice—and now we're ready to throw the bums out! Seriously, all of them. » 1/27/12 11:55am 1/27/12 11:55am

Fox News Anchor Is Shocked When Fox News Poll Says Obama Will Win In…

As hard as they might try to bend the facts (or just plain make them up), sometimes even Fox News anchors must contend with the harsh reality that not everyone thinks Barack Obama is an evil socialist. But somebody forgot to tell Gretchen Carlson that, and she got the shock of a lifetime when she learned that a poll… » 12/11/11 4:35pm 12/11/11 4:35pm

December Madness: The Tournament To Crown The Worst Christmas Song…

Yesterday, we asked you to help us in our search for the Worst Christmas Song of All, and you responded with heartwarming haterade. Now, we've got a whole new set of abominable earworms upon which you may pass judgment. Let's join hands, raise our voices, and declare which of the terrible Christmas songs is truly the… » 12/08/11 3:10pm 12/08/11 3:10pm