Jonah From Veep Practices for the White House Correspondents Dinner

The White House Correspondents dinner—that bizarre annual ritual in which celebrities are smushed in between politicians to temporarily relieve Washington from its own bitter, bloated, halitosis-ridden reality—is tomorrow night, and in a spot-on video spoof for Vanity Fair, Veep star (and friend of Jezebel) Timothy… » 4/24/15 7:30pm Friday 7:30pm

Jeb Bush Is Hangry As Fuck for Presidency and a Plate of Goddamn Carbs

Jeb Bush wants to be your president. The lesser Bush, who’s in politics but hasn’t risen much higher than trying to “streamline the execution process” in Florida, knows that there are two things Americans really care about when it comes to voting for the leader of their country: issues and a trim body that any… » 4/24/15 11:45am Friday 11:45am

Loretta Lynch Confirmed as Attorney General After Embarrassing Delay

By a vote of 56-43, Loretta Lynch was confirmed as Attorney General of the United States on Thursday afternoon. It took the do-nothings in the Senate more than five months to take their thumbs out of their asses and stop swordfighting with their proverbial dicks for long enough to take care of this simple task. » 4/23/15 2:45pm Thursday 2:45pm

WI Gov. Scott Walker Wishes DNR Happy Earth Day by Threatening Layoffs

Scott Walker, the barely sentient potato who’s been elected governor of Wisconsin not once, not twice, but three times, is celebrating Earth Day in his own special way. Throughout the week, nearly 60 employees of the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources have received notice that they might soon be laid off. » 4/22/15 6:10pm Wednesday 6:10pm

Would You Vote for Waka Flocka for Prez? Cause He's Running (Kinda)

In case you missed the 13 million tweets (and probably texts) reminding you, yesterday was 420. For the occasion of the holiday of our lord (Lord von Weedman), one of the world’s most dedicated herbalists announced his candidacy for president. That man is Waka Flocka Flame. » 4/21/15 2:10pm Tuesday 2:10pm

PA Republican Is Sleeping With Airline Lobbyist, Blames 'Liberal Media'

Congressman Bill Shuster, a Pennsylvania Republican who chairs the House Committee on Transportation, admitted to Politico Thursday that he has a “private and personal relationship” with a woman who works as a lobbyist for the airline industry. His staff is working on a bill that would reform the Federal Aviation… » 4/17/15 10:50am 4/17/15 10:50am

Hillary Clinton Makes It Official And Announces Run For Presidency

Since this morning, we’ve had our eyes on Hillary Clinton’s social media channels, waiting for the official announcement of her second run for presidency. Instead of booming fanfare in the form of a tweet or an Instagram of The Rock making the statement (my fantasy which will sadly never happen because he’s a… » 4/12/15 3:55pm 4/12/15 3:55pm

Senator Jeff Klein to Google Images: 'susan del percio hot'

“Always the beautiful answer who asks a more beautiful question,” wrote the poet E.E. cummings. Which is, I’m sure, what New York senator Jeff Klein was reciting repeatedly when he his “female, junior communications staffer” pocket tweeted a link to a Google Image search for ‘susan del percio hot’—from her phone, of… » 4/07/15 11:07pm 4/07/15 11:07pm

Chinless Monster Todd Kincannon Arrested on Domestic Violence Charges

Former short-lived South Carolina Republican Party executive director and self-styled Twitter provocateur Todd Kincannon has been arrested on domestic violence charges. Kincannon says that he didn’t have any memory of the incident that led to his arrest, that he’d overdosed on Benzonatate and his brain, arms, and… » 4/06/15 11:45pm 4/06/15 11:45pm

Move Over, El Bloombito; Spicy 'Hispanic' Jeb Bush is Here, Ajua!

Jeb Bush—yung progeny of former President George HW Bush, wee stony bro of former President George W Bush aka Yayoncé, and current possible Republican candidate for Prez in 2016—feels so in tune with Latinos that he registered himself to vote as “Hispanic” under “race.” Jajajajajaja QUÉ CABRÓN. » 4/06/15 10:10am 4/06/15 10:10am

Maine Politicians Take a Break from Governing to Have Vaseline Fight

A town hall held by Maine Governor Paul LePage ended a little early after an enraged former mayor tossed a jar of Vaseline at him. Nothing could make me happier than the preceding sentence. Literally nothing could be funnier than politicians throwing Vaseline at other politicians. This is pretty much direct… » 4/03/15 11:10am 4/03/15 11:10am