Three GOP Candidates Go Ahead and Pardon Their Own Turkeys Just for Practice 

In a move that some might read as “bad luck,” or “jinxing it,” Republican presidential candidates Carly Fiorina, Marco Rubio and Ben Carson attempted the absolute most important task of any United States president: pardoning the Thanksgiving turkey. None were particularly good at it, which is fine, because none of… »Wednesday 10:41am11/25/15 10:41am

I Have Questions About This Juror Who Asked to Be Excused From Sheldon Silver's Trial

Former New York State Assemblyman and speaker Sheldon Silver is on trial for corruption, which is surprising, as long as you are very, very very easily surprised. Also a little odd: one of the jurors asked to be excused almost as soon as deliberations began, writing, “I don’t feel like I can be myself right now!” »Tuesday 3:39pm11/24/15 3:39pm

Donald Trump Won't Rule Out an Independent Campaign, Even After Pledging Not To Run

Donald Trump’s waterfall of regurgitated chatter continued on Sunday, with quips about Muslim databases, 9/11, and bringing back water-boarding. And over all of it, he also suggested that he would run for president as independent if he doesn’t get the Republican nod. »Sunday 12:05pm11/22/15 12:05pm

Ronda Rousey Is Feeling The Bern 

Grumpy old man and Democratic presidential candidate, Bernie Sanders, has earned the endorsement of Ronda Rousey. The UFC champion (and future star of the highly anticipated Road House reboot) told Maxim that she was supporting Sanders “because he doesn’t take any corporate money.” “I don’t think politicians should be… »11/10/15 10:00pm11/10/15 10:00pm

British Parliamentarian Flexes Political Muscle to Complain About Star Wars Shoe Bungle

The Star Wars R2-D2 pump crafted by British shoe company Irregular Choice is, perhaps, the most hideous shoe ever made. But the gravitational pull of Star Wars (as well as unconventional footwear) was such that despite its appalling existence, this shoe compelled a member of British Parliament to write a complaint to… »11/09/15 11:20am11/09/15 11:20am

Confratulations to Paul Ryan, the First Bro Speaker of the House in US History

In an age of billionaire nerds with chips on their slumped shoulders, bros are often caricatured as beefy dipshits or smeared as preening, bullying date rapists. Well, put a big fat tally in the W column, for bros of America have scored a resounding victory: Paul Ryan, bro king, has been elected Speaker of the US… »10/29/15 4:11pm10/29/15 4:11pm

Major Florida Newspaper: Marco, If You Hate the Senate So Much, Please Just Quit

The Sun-Sentinel’s editorial board published a scathing assessment of Florida Senator and GOP presidential candidate Marco Rubio, who has demonstrated a certain lack of commitment to his current post, writing: “If you hate your job, senator, follow the honorable lead of House Speaker John Boehner and resign it.” »10/28/15 10:44am10/28/15 10:44am

So What's Everyone Wearing to Rand Paul's Halloween Party? 

Okay, it’s so annoying how there are like five different Halloween parties I have to go to, and I have to come up for a different costume for all of them, and one of them is all the way over in freaking Iowa but I feel like only a few people are going to show up and Republican presidential candidate Rand Paul will… »10/23/15 5:40pm10/23/15 5:40pm