Modern Farmer put together a pie chart of pies by month and we all really fucked up when it comes to October. Why were we not eating apple pie every day and when we weren't eating it, talking about eating it? And if you were doing that, how come you didn't tell me? That is not the "leave no pie behind" mentality that…

An ode to pastry.

It's the time of year when all I can think about is a slice of sweet, creamy pumpkin pie. It's all I can do not to just mix a jar of pumpkin pie spice with a can of pureed pumpkin into a vat of whipped cream and then just start shoveling it into my mouth using a pop tart. Ah, autumn.

Just when you thought that you couldn't love Michelle Obama any more than you do, she manages to find a way to worm just a little bit deeper down into your heart. Witness this clip of her making a visit to a pie shop in Virginia. She begins by giving hugs liberally (if she's tired of random people clinging to her for…

Today is International No Diet Day, an "annual celebration of body acceptance and shape diversity." It's also a day of desserts. Since summer is almost upon us, celebrate with a nice, refreshing slice or several of key lime pie. Make sure it's yellow, unless you're some sort of barbarian and eat green key lime pie.

>In a particularly misleading Self article, Gwyenth Paltrow allegedly dishes on her "secrets" to a fitness. This in an article where she actually says, "It's not an accident. It's not luck, it's not fairy dust, it's not good genes. It's killing myself for an hour and a half five days a week, but what I get out of it…

Some people think that this year, 2011, is finally the year that the peaceful reign of cupcakes, the Clinton Administration of dessert trends, will end and a new era of Bush/Cheney/Rumsfeld pie-terror is upon us. Blasphemy!

The headline of this New York Times story should strike gladness into the heart of any Team Pie member: "Pie to Cupcake: Time's Up." Them's fighting words.

[Scotland, November 16: 11-week-old Jaxxon Blue Templeton inspects a pie as judging takes place in the World Scotch Pie Championship. Eighty pie makers have entered the competition, which is now in its twelfth year. Image via Getty.]

I'm not saying we have to be sworn enemies. But as yet another cake-pie hybrid lands in our inbox, I feel it's my duty to inform all you dessert Utopians that...it's the League of Nations of desserts.

Witness the Cherpumple, a three-layer cake stuffed with pie — cherry, pumpkin and apple (get it) pies embedded in yellow, white, and spice cake, to be precise. Check out the recipe, and find a moment's peace in this ongoing war.

Food porn time! The new Dean & Deluca catalog features a dark chocolae cake, a fresh pear tart and tons of candy. Grab a fork!

I love cake. Cake is wonderful. But it is too easy to get caught up in the idea of cake. When you compare the data, it is clear that pie is a better choice.

[Tokyo, March 21. Image via Getty]

Sorry, cakeheads: You lose. President Obama prefers pie. [LA Times]