The Petraeus Scandal Gets Inevitable Taiwanese Animation Treatment

The best explanation of the Petraeus shebang (outside of Katie's epic guide) comes from insanators at Next Media Animation. If you need to explain the scandal to a small child or to someone who just likes to laugh, this is the video for you! Be careful, though, the sexy music might send the clothes literally flying… » 11/16/12 9:40am 11/16/12 9:40am

Why Is Nobody Asking Whether David Petraeus Is a Honey-Hungry Dickzilla…

That's what I'd like to know!!! And I think the American people deserve the truth. If David Petraeus is really the "decorated general" and "guy with a wife" he claims to be, then how is it that he wickedly bewitched the Inboxes of not one but TWO busy, high-profile women? Which is it, Petraeus? Are you a family man or… » 11/14/12 5:25pm 11/14/12 5:25pm

Petraeus Successor General Allen Might Just Be a Chatty Guy

Was General John R. Allen, who succeeded General David Petraeus as lead commander of coalition forces in Afghanistan, actually sending inappropriate emails to Tampa socialite Jill Kelley? (If you still don't know who these people are, read our explainer here.) » 11/14/12 1:25pm 11/14/12 1:25pm

Jill Kelley Gazes Listlessly Out Window While Petraeus Plays on TV

She looks so much like a modern day Jane Austen character, it's hard to believe this wasn't staged. Poor Jill Kelley, perhaps she should take to bed before she comes down with consumption. This is all so fucking Greek tragedy/Desperate Housewives, I can hardly stand it. » 11/14/12 1:05am 11/14/12 1:05am

A Guide to Understanding the Increasingly Convoluted Petraeus Sex…

Twenty to thirty thousand emails, shirtless photos, illicit sex ("under" a desk, no less): are we sure the Petraeus scandal isn't actually a viral marketing campaign for the next season of Gossip Girl? If you haven't been paying attention to the still-developing drama (we're expecting a secret pregnancy to break this… » 11/13/12 11:40am 11/13/12 11:40am