Rejoice! Diet Pepsi Is Changing One Weird Chemical Sweetener to Another…

If you're one of those people who loves Diet Pepsi because of the smooth, unadulterated taste of pure aspartame, I've got some bad news for you. Consider your shit adulterated. The Pepsi corporation will now be sweetening its weird brown water substitute with a combination of aspartame and delicious acesulfame… » 12/18/12 10:40am 12/18/12 10:40am

Pepsi Is Releasing a New Brand of 'Fat-Blocking' Cola that Will…

Oh, man, wouldn't it be great to glug unlimited Pepsi AND get your fats blocked!?!? Well, the good folks at Pepsi-Cola Japan are introducing a new product for just that purpose—a refreshing cola beverage that "blocks" your "fats" with "fiber," just like Gandalf on the Bridge of Khazad-dûm. "Pepsi Special" contains an… » 11/12/12 5:00pm 11/12/12 5:00pm

New Soda Machines Will Yell at You About Calories

In an effort to educate consumers about the stark realities of carbonated syrup, soda giants are rolling out new vending machines that will prominently feature calorie counts. Coke, Pepsi, and Dr. Pepper will all launch their new machines in 2013, and also plan to focus aggressively on developing new diet drinks. » 10/08/12 5:15pm 10/08/12 5:15pm

Fun-Hating Legislator Proposes Ban on Eating Aborted Human Fetuses

Let's take a moment today to salute a brave American hero. A man who saw through the amoral haze of today's society and who had the courage to stand up for what's right, even in the face of an unstoppable tide of modernity and vice. That man is Oklahoma legislator Ralph Shortey. And that fearless act of bravery was… » 1/25/12 2:00pm 1/25/12 2:00pm

Junk Food Addiction As Real As Drug Addiction, But Less Cool

A growing body of evidence indicates that there's a reason it's so hard for so many people to just stop eating junk food— it's just as addictive as illegal drugs. This changes everything. Chocoholism is real, and it's no laughing matter, Cathy cartoons. All those songs you thought were coded odes to heroin and… » 11/02/11 1:20pm 11/02/11 1:20pm

Orphaned Baby Deer Makes Us Melt • Indra Nooyi Named Most Powerful…

• Squee! This baby deer » 10/01/08 5:30pm 10/01/08 5:30pm, delivered via c-section after its mother was hit by a car is officially The Cutest Thing, Ever. • Speaking of C-sections, a has found that pregnant Asian women whose male partners are Caucasian are more likely to have a Cesarean than white women who have Asian or white male partners. • On…