Rejoice! Diet Pepsi Is Changing One Weird Chemical Sweetener to Another Weird Chemical Sweetener!
If you're one of those people who loves Diet Pepsi because of the smooth, unadulterated taste of pure aspartame, I've got some bad news for you. Consider your shit adulterated. The Pepsi corporation will now be sweetening its weird brown water substitute with a combination of aspartame and delicious acesulfame…
Pepsi Is Releasing a New Brand of 'Fat-Blocking' Cola that Will Obviously Totally Work
Oh, man, wouldn't it be great to glug unlimited Pepsi AND get your fats blocked!?!? Well, the good folks at Pepsi-Cola Japan are introducing a new product for just that purpose—a refreshing cola beverage that "blocks" your "fats" with "fiber," just like Gandalf on the Bridge of Khazad-dûm. "Pepsi Special" contains an…
New Soda Machines Will Yell at You About Calories
In an effort to educate consumers about the stark realities of carbonated syrup, soda giants are rolling out new vending machines that will prominently feature calorie counts. Coke, Pepsi, and Dr. Pepper will all launch their new machines in 2013, and also plan to focus aggressively on developing new diet drinks.
Fun-Hating Legislator Proposes Ban on Eating Aborted Human Fetuses
Let's take a moment today to salute a brave American hero. A man who saw through the amoral haze of today's society and who had the courage to stand up for what's right, even in the face of an unstoppable tide of modernity and vice. That man is Oklahoma legislator Ralph Shortey. And that fearless act of bravery was…
Junk Food Addiction As Real As Drug Addiction, But Less Cool
A growing body of evidence indicates that there's a reason it's so hard for so many people to just stop eating junk food— it's just as addictive as illegal drugs. This changes everything. Chocoholism is real, and it's no laughing matter, Cathy cartoons. All those songs you thought were coded odes to heroin and…
Lindsay Swaps Coke For Pepsi
[Palm Desert, November 18. Image via Pacific Coast News Online.]
"Women Want To Be Viewed As Executives, Not Just Women"
Pepsi CEO Indra Nooyi on fighting for equality for women in business: "Sixty, seventy percent of what I'm speaking on has something to do with women's issues... But if I don't do it, who's going to do it?" [Forbes]
Crap Blog Post From A Dude: "Your Time Is Much Better Spent Protesting Real Issues"
Oh, dear. A columnist for the Reflector, the online newspaper of Mississippi State University, doesn't believe that the Pepsi "AMP Up Before You Score" application is sexist, as "there's virtually no guy out there who genuinely believes women are objects."
How Many Times Will We Let Advertisers Play On Our Emotions?
The world may never know. Nostalgia: the last refuge of a scoundrel.
Republicans To Obama: Stimulate This!
Barack Obama may be frustrated with how his economic stimulus plans are proceeding, but hey, join the club: Everyone in Washington right now has something to be frustrated about.
The Pepsi Generation
TMZ has more evidence that Pepsi (which owns Tropicana) is co-opting Obama imagery for its own purposes. At least it's less obnoxious than Pepsi's "Hope" signs all over DC. [TMZ, DCist]
Baby New Year For Jennifer Garner?
- Very-pregnant Jennifer Garner and hubby Ben Affleck have been "spotted" entering Cedars-Sinai hospital: please let them dress the baby in a little top hat and "2009" banner! [TMZ]

