Male Athletes Are Obsessed With Each Other's Dongs

If you ever wanted to pull a Porky's and spy into a men's locker room but didn't because it's both illegal and immoral (good for you!), Dr Christopher Morriss-Roberts, a podiatrist who specializes in sports sociology at the University of Brighton, might be able to shed some light on what goes on in there. Turns out,… » 3/20/14 1:50pm 3/20/14 1:50pm

PETA Loons: Eating Chicken Wings Will Give Your Baby a Small Penis

PETA is like the most boring drunk person at a barbeque. PETA will lean towards you and whisper in your ear, "Hey... did you know... that vegetables make you good at sex? Like, dangerously good." and then roll into a ditch to play with pine cones. 15 minutes later, forgetting that it had already heckled and upset you,… » 9/03/13 10:40am 9/03/13 10:40am

Things I Learned at the Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant [NSFW]

Upon my arrival at the steamy, hellishly hot little Brooklyn dive bar in which the 1st Annual Smallest Penis in Brooklyn Pageant was to take place, the sense of eager anticipation was as potent as the sweat aroma permeating the room. "Let's see some small dicks!" was the general consensus of all the humans in attendance. … » 7/26/13 3:20pm 7/26/13 3:20pm

Good News: We Finally Know the Real Average Penis Size

As Betty Everett famously sang, "If you wanna know if he loves you so, it's in his dick. That's where it is." Wait. Those aren't the lyrics. Are they? (Note: I'm kind of hungover.) At any rate, this is a post about cocks. Specifically, a new study that proves forever beyond a mushroom shaped shadow of doubt that men… » 7/12/13 1:30pm 7/12/13 1:30pm

Dear Penises: You're Great, Really. Don't Be So Self-Conscious.

Cock-carrying members of the world: your penis is your penis! It is yours to keep for the rest of your life (I hope), and nothing should make you feel less of a penis-bearing man, including other men and their attachés. I know MEN don't like talking about their penises, so I'm going to do it for them, to them. » 6/18/13 5:40pm 6/18/13 5:40pm

Rush Limbaugh Blames 'Feminazis' For His Tiny Penis

Yes, Rush Limbaugh is a professional troll, and he's long ago established himself as a hypocritical buffoon. And obviously nothing he says should ever be taken seriously. But sometimes he says things that are so stupid that they come full circle back around to unintentionally hilarious. On his show yesterday, he made… » 9/21/12 1:20pm 9/21/12 1:20pm

Girl, You Have Unrealistic Expectations About Penis Size

Apparently there's quite a bit of misinformation about penis size on the interent. Larry Harris, Jr. writes, "Men do not know what they are packing, and women do not know what to expect. None of us really have realistic expectations." It's accompanied by this (slightly old) chart, which informs us that "most women's… » 12/05/11 2:30pm 12/05/11 2:30pm