109-Year-Old Man Spends His Time Knitting Sweaters for Tiny Penguins

I hope you don't have a heart condition, because what you're about to read might make that beating mass in the center of your chest burst with the type of feelings overload that can only be prompted by a human interest piece about Australia's oldest man and his adorable, inspirational hobby. » 2/11/15 6:40pm 2/11/15 6:40pm

BREAKING: Here's Uncensored Video of Seal-on-Penguin Copulation

Scientists have just returned from studying king penguins and they've learned quite a bit. In fact, they brought you a souvenir video. Please enjoy this lesson about the seals and the penguins. (And how incredibly cruel the animal kingdom can be and also feel inspired to do something different tomorrow; something that… » 11/17/14 9:00pm 11/17/14 9:00pm

Clumsy Penguins Stumble and Fall for Maniacal Human Delight

Oh penguins! They are nature's most adorable clumsy walker. All dressed up in their little tuxedos and stumbling around all over the ice and snow, they look just like a gaggle of old drunk Dudley Moores in Arthur*. All they need is a little martini glass and a spry 80's Liza Minnelli to chase after and the whole thing… » 12/23/13 10:30pm 12/23/13 10:30pm

Busy Philipps Makes a Penguin Birthday Cake for a Two Year Old and Not…

How much more awesome is Busy Philipps now that you know she's also a professional cake maker? Like, we would probably pay $50 for that cake, it looks better than a lot of Cake Boss' cakes, and he's an actual cake boss! It would be a shame if Philipps left the entertainment business because she's a constant delight,… » 1/28/13 10:15pm 1/28/13 10:15pm

Sunday Sign-Off: Jingle Penguins Are Adorable, Mildly Annoying

Some rough footage of penguins screeching tonelessly has been edited to make it sound as if the penguins are screeching "Jingle Bells." I guess the San Francisco Zoo gets an "A" for effort, but this cacophony would sound very different (read: horrible) in the natural world, which is just God's little reminder to us… » 12/16/12 6:30pm 12/16/12 6:30pm

Adorable Penguin Couple Has Been Holding Wings for 16 Years

Pretty much everyone loves penguins. Scientists love penguins because penguins make for revealing studies about the health of our simmering oceans. Lovers love penguins because penguins remind them of the enduring power of mutually faithful monogamy. Tuxedos love penguins because, with those peculiarly flightless… » 11/18/12 1:00pm 11/18/12 1:00pm