Like something straight out of a Virginia Woolf novel, two lesbian penguins have been living a secret life together in an Israeli zoo. Read… 12/20/13 10:00am Today 10:00am

Oh penguins. Will you ever catch that darn butterfly? I kind of hope you don't, just so I can sit here and watch you chase them down, forever and ever. Let's just call it—penguins are the best at running. Period. Go home cheetah, you are drunk and not chasing butterflies. Read… 11/23/13 3:30pm 11/23/13 3:30pm

This is pretty much exactly why I love birds, but I'll never make direct eye contact with them. Discuss… 9/11/13 7:15pm 9/11/13 7:15pm

Do you need anything more than Melissa McCarthy, Elmo, and a nutso penguin who choreographs a dance to a song called flap-a-waddle boom boom? At least, I think it's called the flap-a-waddle boom boom? Anyway, it doesn't matter, because the correct answer is: No, you don't. Read… 3/19/13 11:15pm 3/19/13 11:15pm

How much more awesome is Busy Philipps now that you know she's also a professional cake maker? Like, we would probably pay $50 for that cake, it looks better than a lot of Cake Boss' cakes, and he's an actual cake boss! It would be a shame if Philipps left the entertainment business because she's a constant delight,… Read… 1/28/13 10:15pm 1/28/13 10:15pm

Some rough footage of penguins screeching tonelessly has been edited to make it sound as if the penguins are screeching "Jingle Bells." I guess the San Francisco Zoo gets an "A" for effort, but this cacophony would sound very different (read: horrible) in the natural world, which is just God's little reminder to us all… Read… 12/16/12 6:30pm 12/16/12 6:30pm

A child learns how to ice skate on Sunday (02.12.12) at the Christmas market set up at the Alexanderplatz in Berlin with a penguin character, which acts as a support. The Christmas market at Alexanderplatz in Berlin is open up until Dec. 26. (Photo: Timur Emek / DAPD) Discuss… 12/02/12 1:00pm 12/02/12 1:00pm

Pretty much everyone loves penguins. Scientists love penguins because penguins make for revealing studies about the health of our simmering oceans. Lovers love penguins because penguins remind them of the enduring power of mutually faithful monogamy. Tuxedos love penguins because, with those peculiarly flightless… Read… 11/18/12 1:00pm 11/18/12 1:00pm

Anybody who really enjoyed Happy Feet and the Morgan Freeman lullaby March of the Penguins should probably stop reading this post before learning that male Adelie penguins are depraved little sex gremlins and British naturalists have been sitting in their mahogany clubhouses, drinking Scotch and dryly mocking our… Read… 6/09/12 2:30pm 6/09/12 2:30pm

One time when I was waiting at a bar, a very drunk older woman turned to me. "Honey, did you know that penguins are basically fish with wings?" Read… 4/28/12 12:30pm 4/28/12 12:30pm

I'm just going to cut to the chase here: on Friday, Newt Gingrich's hand required bandaging after it was injured by an angry penguin. And just for fun, let's see that sentence again: On Friday, Newt Gingrich's hand required bandaging after it was injured by an angry penguin. Rumor has it, that penguin is now on Mitt… Read… 4/16/12 7:00pm 4/16/12 7:00pm

While you were flouting your civic duties by letting your census packet languish on your coffee table, Antarctica's dutiful emperor penguins waddled around the ice in a more or less organized group so that a satellite could take their picture and scientists could count them. The results of this new penguin census are… Read… 4/14/12 11:30am 4/14/12 11:30am

In the long pantheon of things dogs get irrationally excited about, mechanized penguins might be one of the best simply because a mechanized penguin behaves pretty much exactly like a real penguin, i.e. it shuffles around, keeping its useless wings plastered to its body. This video, therefore, either shows that… Read… 3/17/12 4:30pm 3/17/12 4:30pm

You know what's better than a penguin on a plane? Two penguins on a plane! Even better than that: five penguins on three different planes (two of whom may possibly be the same penguin). Watch and learn. Read… 3/09/12 7:15pm 3/09/12 7:15pm

Say it isn't so! Pedro and Buddy, The Toronto Zoo's male African penguins whose companionship gave us something both happy and animal-related to fixated on, have broken up. Cue Adele. Read… 12/13/11 1:50pm 12/13/11 1:50pm

Here's a penguin tale that will never make it into a Disney move for a variety of reasons: Buddy and Pedro, a pair of male African penguins have found love at the Toronto Zoo, but the zoo plans to separate them. Zookeepers say the birds, "do courtship and mating behaviors that females and males would do,'' and "seem to … Discuss… 11/08/11 9:33pm 11/08/11 9:33pm

Skeinz, a yarn store in New Zealand, is calling on knitters throughout the world to knit sweaters for the penguins affected by a massive oil spill that occurred earlier this month. The tiny sweaters, while eliciting aww's and squee's, serve a very important function: they prevent the oil-soaked birds from poisoning… Read… 10/20/11 12:40pm 10/20/11 12:40pm

During mating season, over 5 million penguins congregate in Antarctica's dry areas and mate — just like in Happy Feet! (And March of the Penguins, obviously.) But here's something the Disney movie about a singing penguin forgot to mention: the theft that goes on as the males try to build nests for mating that are… Read… 10/18/11 12:00pm 10/18/11 12:00pm

On March 16, a cargo ship crashed into Nightingale Island, part of an island chain that's home to around 150,000 Rockhopper penguins. The ship was carrying 1,500 tons of oil, and now conservationists are struggling to rescue as many penguins as they can. Read… 4/03/11 12:35pm 4/03/11 12:35pm

[Scotland, March 1: Zookeepers install nest rings in the penguin enclosure, kicking off breeding season at the Edinburgh Zoo. The male penguins will collect pebbles and offer them to the females to fill nest rings with, which helps keep the eggs and chick up off the ground and is part of their courtship display. Image… Discuss… 3/02/11 12:58am 3/02/11 12:58am

[South Korea, November 16: Penguins dressed in Santa costumes at Everland, South Korea's largest amusement park. South Korea is the only east Asian nation that recognizes Christmas as a national holiday. Image via Getty.]

In South Korea, this little team of guys is prepping for the World's Cutest Cup. They're the tournament's wild card. Hahahaha get it?! Wild card! Discuss… 6/03/10 7:40pm 6/03/10 7:40pm

[Asahikawa, January 18. Image via Getty.]

[Liverpool, November 23. Image via Getty]

Harry and Pepper, the beloved same-sex penguin couple who lived together at the San Francisco Zoo and were practically inseparable since 2003, have split, and Linda, a female penguin, is reportedly to blame. Oh, Linda. How could you?! Read… 7/12/09 4:30pm 7/12/09 4:30pm

[Bristol, England; January 7. Image via Getty]

[Yongin, South Korea; December 19. Image via Getty]