Jon Cryer's Son Needs $88k/Month to Stop Richies from Tormenting Him

According to Jon "The Town" Cryer's ex-wife, their 13-year-old son is being humiliated by a roving pack of James Spaders at his rich-kid school, so she needs $88k a month to buy him some new jodhpurs and a man-tiara or whatever the fancies are wearing these days. I kid, though—in actuality she claims her custody has gone … » 10/24/13 8:55pm 10/24/13 8:55pm

Pauly D's Custody Battle Has Quickly Turned Ugly and Sexist

Earlier this week, it was announced that Jersey Shore's Pauly D is the father of a five-month-old baby girl he's never met. He's since filed court documents seeking full custody, claiming the baby's mother, Amanda Markert—with whom he had a one-night stand in Vegas—is unfit because she once worked at Hooters. » 10/24/13 5:10pm 10/24/13 5:10pm

Brad Pitt Retires Stunt Cock: No More Sex Scenes

If a sexually-dissatisfied Southern woman happens to be on the lam with her friend, she can no longer count on glistening young cowboy drifter Brad Pitt to make the fuck with her. Why? Because he doesn't do onscreen sex scenes anymore, out of respect for Angelina Jolie, and she does the same for him. » 5/22/13 9:00am 5/22/13 9:00am

Ashley Judd and Dario Franchitti Split With No Hard Feelings, For Real

Unfortunately, The Year That Love Died appears to be extending into 2013: Actress, vocal feminist and possible Kentucky senatorial candidiate Ashley Judd and her husband, three-time Indy 500 winner Dario Franchitti, are divorcing after eleven years of marriage, which is like a golden anniversary in celebrity years. » 1/30/13 9:00am 1/30/13 9:00am

The Kardashian Christmas Card Looks Like a Tampon Ad

I think it was Tolstoy who wrote, "Happy families are all alike, but Kardashians are all different kinds of bacterial strains of fame-grubber." Here is their Christmas card, which features dearly departed Persian kitten Mercy (RIP) sitting unhappily in something that looks like it came from Ikea and is maybe called a… » 12/18/12 9:00am 12/18/12 9:00am

Brad and Angelina's Secret Wedding Is Probs Not a Wedding

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are having a big, expensive party at their French chateau this weekend and everyone is speculating they're going to get married even though they said it's being thrown in honor of Brad's parents Bill and Jane. "There's a real buzz around the estate," said their good friend Anonymous Source. » 8/10/12 9:00am 8/10/12 9:00am

Fox's New Dating Show Doesn't Grant Equal Time to the Ladies

Last week we got excited for The Choice, the show that's basically The Voice meets The Bachelor meets The Dating Game. The concept: Celebrities sit in chairs, with their backs to potential dates, and pull a "love handle" to turn around if they like what they hear. Today, the stars involved have been announced, and yeah,… » 5/09/12 11:00am 5/09/12 11:00am

Sarah Silverman Winkingly Posts Before and After 'Abortion' Pix

If we know anything about Sarah Silverman it's that she loves abortions. This is most clearly evidenced by the fact she's responsible for the best termination-related montage we're likely to witness during our lifetime. SS, fully aware of the War on Women, decided to sneak in a quick one in case someone pulls the plug… » 4/13/12 9:00am 4/13/12 9:00am

Amanda Bynes Stupidly Decides to Drive Drunk and Run Into a Cop Car

We haven't heard much from Amanda Bynes lately, but early this morning she crashed back into the news by getting busted for a DUI. Bynes, who's looking fairly composed in her mugshot and seems to be sporting the pale pink dye job that's all the rage right now, was arrested in West Hollywood after she did the dumbest… » 4/06/12 8:00pm 4/06/12 8:00pm

Secret Couple Amanda Seyfried and Josh Hartnett Totally Pulled One…

Did your ears just perk up? Did your spine feel a slight tingle? Don't worry, it's not the dangerous solar storms that are racing toward Earth; it's because a new Cute Couple Alert has just been issued. Amanda Seyfried is dating Josh Hartnett, and it turns out they've been secretly together since January. How have they … » 3/07/12 8:00pm 3/07/12 8:00pm

Jersey Shore Creators Target Nerds For Dubious Stardom

Depending on how much you watch the show, Jersey Shore's transformation of a few unknown guidos and guidettes into an international fame plague was either the best thing or the worst thing ever to happen to entertainment. Now comes the good (or bad) news that the same company that unearthed Snooki and Pauly D is… » 12/23/11 9:30am 12/23/11 9:30am

Jersey Shore Season Five Will Open With Pauly D's Tanning Overdose

Remember last week, in the season four finale when Pauly D detailed his plans for when he got back to the states? His exact, excited words went like so: "I can't wait to go tanning, I'm gonna go tanning, then I'm gonna go tanning, then I'm gonna go tanning, then I'm gonna go to the gym, then I'm gonna do laundry." He… » 10/24/11 6:15pm 10/24/11 6:15pm

Jersey Shore Says Goodbye To Italy

If last week's episode was all about seeing how much Italians hate the Jersey Shore, this week's finale refuted that blow by showing just how excited the Shore kids were to go home to their beloved Jersey. As Pauly D so frankly put it, "I'm real excited to get back to Seaside. I can't wait to go tanning, I'm gonna go… » 10/21/11 3:10pm 10/21/11 3:10pm

Cops Shut Down Kim Kardashian's Store During Fashion's Night Out

Last night was Fashion's Night Out in New York City, which means there were huge crowds of people in stores they could go to any other night of the year and random celebrities doing random things. Sarah Jessica Parker signed Manolos. Lea Michele autographed T-shirts at Saks. Justin Bieber was at D&G and said he was… » 9/09/11 1:35pm 9/09/11 1:35pm

Jersey Shore Cast Members Just Not That Into Italians

The cast of MTV's Jersey Shore sat down with Good Morning America to discuss all of the sordid details of their Italian season abroad. One problem: three of the girls are off the market — and all of the cast agrees that they are not attracted to the local Italians. (But they're not attracted to the blonde, American… » 8/03/11 2:37pm 8/03/11 2:37pm