Confratulations to Paul Ryan, the First Bro Speaker of the House in US History

In an age of billionaire nerds with chips on their slumped shoulders, bros are often caricatured as beefy dipshits or smeared as preening, bullying date rapists. Well, put a big fat tally in the W column, for bros of America have scored a resounding victory: Paul Ryan, bro king, has been elected Speaker of the US… »10/29/15 4:11pm10/29/15 4:11pm

House Republicans Officially Nominate Paul D. Ryan To Be Next House Speaker

On Wednesday afternoon, House Republicans voted to nominate Rep. Paul Ryan to be the next Speaker of the House. The vote was reportedly divvied up between Ryan and Rep. Daniel Webster, who received 200 and 43 votes respectively. Rep. Marsha Blackburn and Rep. Kevin McCarthy both received one vote. »10/28/15 2:49pm10/28/15 2:49pm

 Paul Ryan Is Not a Feminist Hero Dad

Vox and Sheryl Sandberg have both stepped forward to praise Paul Ryan for demanding his “family time” as a condition of running for Speaker of the House. His voting record alone should be enough to dispel the notion that he’s anything remotely like a friend to feminism. It seems frankly unfathomable that this even… »10/22/15 4:30pm10/22/15 4:30pm

Daily Show Suggests More Conditions for a Paul Ryan Speakership: Segways, Sephora

Paul Ryan is willing to run for Speaker of the House... under some conditions. For instance, a workplace that allows him quality time with his family, the kind of workplace he doesn’t support for the rest of America. The Daily Show’s Jessica Williams outlined some additional riders that he might attach to his… »10/22/15 9:15am10/22/15 9:15am

Nine Far Right Dipshits Could Stop Paul Ryan From Being Elected House Speaker

In 1982, Van Halen created one of the greatest rock trivia facts of all time when they demanded in their tour rider that all brown M&M’s be removed from their dressing room munchies as a precondition for performing. Thirty-three years later, Wisconsin Rep Paul Ryan created a similarly ornate rider as a prerequisite… »10/21/15 5:30pm10/21/15 5:30pm

Paul Ryan Once Again Sponsors the Bill That Would Make It Possible for Women's Rapists to Sue Them

Well, if Paul Ryan does run in 2016, we know he'll be going full speed with the crazy, making it impossible for him to win, and Hillary will be president, and then everyone will win. Well, except for the American politics, which has been stripped of the effective multiple-party system it needs to evolve and thrive. »1/11/13 12:25pm1/11/13 12:25pm

Americans Way More Interested in Paul Ryan's Naked, Heaving Chest Than His Budget

Every computer using human needs another human who has agreed to delete their Google search history in the event of their untimely death. Unfortunately for the American public, however, while we're all still alive, there are analysts busily receiving our collective search engine data and trying to figure out what the… »10/22/12 7:10pm10/22/12 7:10pm

Paul Ryan Appeals to Much-Needed Women Voters By Mocking War on Women

The Presidential race is getting pretty horse-racey in the waning days before the election, and both candidates and their running mates are furiously touring Ohio, Florida, and Colorado trying to convince people to vote for them. Today, Paul Ryan included an hilarious new bit of jokemaking in a speech to donors at a… »10/19/12 7:15pm10/19/12 7:15pm

New Mitt Romney Ad Just Straight Up Lies About his Position on Abortion

Unprincipled perennial panderer Mitt Romney is really digging in deep in the final weeks before November 6, going after every last vote with the zeal of a Howard Hughes-style crazy billionaire trying to fly an airplane to space. And as time runs out on the election season, his campaign has gotten more desperate — so… »10/17/12 7:15pm10/17/12 7:15pm

Friday Night Lights Creator Writes Letter Demanding Mitt Romney Stop Plagiarizing the Show

A newly invigorated Mitt Romney has been springing joyously along the campaign trail in recent days armed with a slight poll bounce and a brand new campaign slogan: "Clear eyes. Full hearts. Can't lose." Which would be a great, fresh take on quixotic optimism if that were an original Romney joint rather than something… »10/12/12 3:20pm10/12/12 3:20pm