The White House Correspondents’ Dinner is a total onanistic throwaway of an event, an opportunity for celebrities, politicians, and all the insidery media insiders to sit around the campfire and listen to a comedian gently mock them while enjoying really expensive truffle oil s’mores. That’s fine — even ordinary…

Two weeks after welcoming daughter Pearl Clementine with his fiancée Lisa Stelly, Jack Osbourne, 26, has been diagnosed with relapsing, remitting multiple sclerosis—the most common, but least aggressive form of the illness, says Osbourne. "I was just angry and frustrated and kept thinking, 'Why now?' " he told People…

• After hearing about the Tennessee high school where 90 students are pregnant, Kim Kardashian took to her blog to blame Teen Mom, saying its stars, "have been become almost like celebrities, but girls, these are not people you should idolize!"

[Rome, August 19. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

• Heidi Montag's Playboy shoot: Not that X-Rated. Sources say the mag had strict instructions when photographing her:

• Jude Law got someone pregnant, but not Rachel McAdams' sister Kayleen — her rep (she's a makeup artist) says "She has never even met him." [Star]
• So. The mother of Jude Law's unborn spawn is:

• Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have been checking out a gorgeous building on the Upper West Side of Manhattan. Will they move the brood to New York? [Rush & Molloy]

• Beyoncé on her fake "screeching" recording:

• Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony had trouble getting into the Neighborhood Ball last night, because they were late. You gotta get there before the President! [Page Six]