Does it matter if The Tourist is any good? It has Jolie and Depp! Ditto the NYC premiere, which also had Pitt, Connelly, Ashanti and some great cold-weather clothes.

The trailer for The Tourist — starring Angelina Jolie and Johnny Depp — just hit the web. The storyline is, in a word, vague. So we've written our own narrative instead.

[Brooklyn Heights, June 21. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Venice, April 1. Image via Pacific Coast News]

Confession: this isn't the Howl premiere at Sundance. That was boring. This is Legion, at L.A.'s ArcLight's Cinerama Dome Theater, and very nice and star-studded it was, too. But I'll be damned if I'm cheated out of my Ginsberg reference!

[New York, January 11. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[Los Angeles, September 21. Image via WENN]

[New York, March 25. Image via Flynet.]

[New York, February 26. Image via Flynet]

[New York, February 5. Image via Flynet]

After gushing over 30 Rock guest star Jennifer Aniston last week, Alec Baldwin is now creaming over Salma Hayek, who will play his girlfriend on the show later this season. "She was literally the most fabulous woman that I've ever worked with," Baldwin says of Salma. • Wee Miley Cyrus could get an Oscar nod this year…

[London, October 10. Image via Bauer-Griffin]

[New York, February 25. Image via Splash]

It's hump day! Also known as the day in which we digest every major tabloid and pick out the good bits for you, gentle reader. In this week's rundown, Britney wore a really hideous Halloween costume and her kids' teeth are going to fall out, Angelina is possibly getting it on with either her new bodyguard, Billy, or…

[Los Angeles, November 1. All images via Splash.]