Justin Bieber’s Mom Proudly Presents Abortion: The Movie

You may best remember Pattie Mallette, the woman who gave birth to pop music antichrist Justin Bieber, for appearing on Today and imagining an alternate universe in which she had an abortion at 17, Justin Bieber was never born, and some other tween music icon was taking up shelf space in popular culture. What if… »1/19/13 11:30am1/19/13 11:30am

Matchmaking Imp Ryan Seacrest Set Up Justin Bieber's Mom with The Bachelor's Chris Harrison

Ryan Seacrest reportedly brokered a date between Justin Bieber's mom (whose name is almost literally Patty Melt) and Bachelor host Chris Harrison. (Anyone else enjoy thinking about the phrase "Bachelor host" like a Bachelor is some sort of parasite and Chris Harrison is its host? And the Bachelor lays eggs in Chris… »10/05/12 8:40pm10/05/12 8:40pm