How to Celebrate the Royal Baby with Proper British Restraint

Assuming the Royal Baby breaches the Duchess of Cambridge’s earthly vessel sometime in the next 36 hours, this weekend proves to be an especially interesting one for revelers. Why, you ask, unwilling to let your eyes linger over your tattered copy of Thomas Carlyle’s history of the French Revolution and discover the… » 7/13/13 2:00pm 7/13/13 2:00pm

Let’s All Pee in the Face of the Dreaded New Year’s Day Hangover by…

New Year's Eve is one of a handful of holidays that expects, nay, demands its celebrants get blackout drunk. Of course we're all going to drink on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Independence Day, but we'll be drinking serenely as we slip away glass by glass of drugstore Merlot into a restorative stupor in front of a… » 12/31/12 8:30pm 12/31/12 8:30pm

Oblivious Lady to Raise $1500 on Kickstarter for Her Rainbow Birthday…

Kickstarter is very useful for many people of all stripes, but there is a line that must be drawn somewhere to determine what is worthy of crowdsourced funding and what is just asinine. Fortunately, one woman from Brooklyn has come along and shown us exactly where that line should be placed. Meet Jessi, a 33-year-old… » 4/12/12 10:40am 4/12/12 10:40am

Now There's a Party Bus That Will Inject You With Magical Fluids and…

Not that you have ever, ever overindulged on alcohol, but if you had, you'd know that it can result in some serious pain the next day. Fortunately, a company in Las Vegas is pioneering a new, extremely convenient way to help you recover quickly from your retched suffering. Hangover Heaven promises to rid you of your… » 4/11/12 10:10pm 4/11/12 10:10pm

China Decides to Stops Giving Orphans the Last Names 'State' and 'Party'

China has issued a new rule that will make life easier for the tens of thousands of children that grow up in its orphanages. Up until now, it was common practice for orphanages to give their children surnames either based on the place that they were abandoned or to give them generic names like "Guo" or "Dang," which… » 2/13/12 1:30pm 2/13/12 1:30pm

Beyoncé's 'Party' Video Is Overrun By Sexed-Up Trailer Park Hipsters

Yes, it certainly feels as though Beyoncé is releasing new music videos at the speed of light, but those who have been waiting for the one track most likely to be her hit single can rest easy, for "Party" is here. The music video is exactly what the song implies, a party — but it takes place in a trailer park (where… » 10/27/11 12:20pm 10/27/11 12:20pm

Police Say Caffeine, Not Date-Rape Drug, Made Students Sick

Investigators claim that the Central Washington University students who collapsed at a party were affected not by date-rape drugs, but by a caffeinated malt liquor drink. No word on whether a possible sexual assault at the party will be prosecuted. » 10/25/10 5:38pm 10/25/10 5:38pm

Puppy + Weddings= Bad Idea, WEtv • Indian Widow Throws Totally Bangin'…

• WEtv uses sad-sack female stereotypes to try to push "Puppy Weddings" TV show. We love puppies, but we don't think puppies love weddings. • NYRA says Hooter's waitresses will have to dress appropriately if they want to play with their pretty new race horse, Big Brown.• A Canadian waitress was fired after shaving off… » 6/06/08 5:40pm 6/06/08 5:40pm

Philadelphia Jezebels, You Nave No Excuse For Not Getting Laid This…

Talking about the election has become a fun sort of foreplay for spring breaking college students in primary states! A story in today's Wall Street Journal follows an Obama volunteer and Virginia jazz studies major on his Spring Break "springternship" to Philadelphia. (The Obama campaign is the only one with a formal… » 3/14/08 3:00pm 3/14/08 3:00pm