Tiny English Village Terrorized By Loud Noises Coming from Sex Party

Imagine you live in a picturesque village in the UK. Imagine that village is called Flaxley and is located in the Forest of Dean which sounds lovely, sight unseen. Now imagine that it’s a Thursday afternoon and your eardrums are assaulted by music coming not from the friendly fairies of the forest (well...) but from a… » 7/06/15 1:10pm 7/06/15 1:10pm

Mother Outraged Over Unsightly Vagina on Teddy Bear Cake

Of all the things you’d imagine people would be legitimately outraged by, the genitals of teddy bears doesn’t immediately top the list. One mother in England, however, can’t get over the fact that her precious child’s christening cake looks like it’s showing off a whole lot of camel toe. Do you see it? » 6/25/15 5:00pm 6/25/15 5:00pm

Yes, Khia Will Absolutely 'Pop Her Pussy' At Your Cookout

If this isn’t the best news of this goddamn century, it is most definitely the best news of this fucking year: Khia, the woman who brought licking crack to the forefront of the early 2000s, is bringing her grooves to cookouts and BBQs in your area, and wants to perform for you and yours at your next summer party. » 4/22/15 10:15am 4/22/15 10:15am

How to Drink All Night at the Holiday Party and Not Be That Guy

Listen, drinking all night is not healthy. But it's holiday party season, that perfect storm of open bar and all of your colleagues waiting to see who will be this year's obnoxious, puking, passed out and/or dead person at the party. Don't be that guy. » 12/12/14 5:21pm 12/12/14 5:21pm

First off, let's review the science of drunk. In order to survive…

How to Celebrate the Royal Baby with Proper British Restraint

Assuming the Royal Baby breaches the Duchess of Cambridge’s earthly vessel sometime in the next 36 hours, this weekend proves to be an especially interesting one for revelers. Why, you ask, unwilling to let your eyes linger over your tattered copy of Thomas Carlyle’s history of the French Revolution and discover the… » 7/13/13 2:00pm 7/13/13 2:00pm

Let’s All Pee in the Face of the Dreaded New Year’s Day Hangover by Getting Super Wasted

New Year's Eve is one of a handful of holidays that expects, nay, demands its celebrants get blackout drunk. Of course we're all going to drink on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Independence Day, but we'll be drinking serenely as we slip away glass by glass of drugstore Merlot into a restorative stupor in front of a… » 12/31/12 8:30pm 12/31/12 8:30pm

Oblivious Lady to Raise $1500 on Kickstarter for Her Rainbow Birthday Parade

Kickstarter is very useful for many people of all stripes, but there is a line that must be drawn somewhere to determine what is worthy of crowdsourced funding and what is just asinine. Fortunately, one woman from Brooklyn has come along and shown us exactly where that line should be placed. Meet Jessi, a 33-year-old… » 4/12/12 10:40am 4/12/12 10:40am

Now There's a Party Bus That Will Inject You With Magical Fluids and Cure Your Hangover

Not that you have ever, ever overindulged on alcohol, but if you had, you'd know that it can result in some serious pain the next day. Fortunately, a company in Las Vegas is pioneering a new, extremely convenient way to help you recover quickly from your retched suffering. Hangover Heaven promises to rid you of your… » 4/11/12 10:10pm 4/11/12 10:10pm

China Decides to Stops Giving Orphans the Last Names 'State' and 'Party'

China has issued a new rule that will make life easier for the tens of thousands of children that grow up in its orphanages. Up until now, it was common practice for orphanages to give their children surnames either based on the place that they were abandoned or to give them generic names like "Guo" or "Dang," which… » 2/13/12 1:30pm 2/13/12 1:30pm

Beyoncé's 'Party' Video Is Overrun By Sexed-Up Trailer Park Hipsters

Yes, it certainly feels as though Beyoncé is releasing new music videos at the speed of light, but those who have been waiting for the one track most likely to be her hit single can rest easy, for "Party" is here. The music video is exactly what the song implies, a party — but it takes place in a trailer park (where… » 10/27/11 12:20pm 10/27/11 12:20pm

Puppy + Weddings= Bad Idea, WEtv • Indian Widow Throws Totally Bangin' End-Of-Life Bash

• WEtv uses sad-sack female stereotypes to try to push "Puppy Weddings" TV show. We love puppies, but we don't think puppies love weddings. • NYRA says Hooter's waitresses will have to dress appropriately if they want to play with their pretty new race horse, Big Brown.• A Canadian waitress was fired after shaving off… » 6/06/08 5:40pm 6/06/08 5:40pm

Philadelphia Jezebels, You Nave No Excuse For Not Getting Laid This Month

Talking about the election has become a fun sort of foreplay for spring breaking college students in primary states! A story in today's Wall Street Journal follows an Obama volunteer and Virginia jazz studies major on his Spring Break "springternship" to Philadelphia. (The Obama campaign is the only one with a formal… » 3/14/08 3:00pm 3/14/08 3:00pm