A Mentally Disabled Mother Lost Her Newborn and Fought Until She Got Her Back
People joke that parenthood should come via license, like driving, and that you shouldn’t be allowed to have children unless you pass a test. Lisa Miller’s New York magazine story about one mother in Massachusetts makes that idea—and the parental and disability rights controversies that accompany it—real.
Obama Will Not Speak at Malia’s Graduation Because He Is ‘Going to Cry’
During a lunch in Detroit on Wednesday, President Obama told guests he refused a request to speak at his daughter Malia’s high school graduation because he’ll be too busy crying. “Malia’s school asked if I wanted to speak at commencement and I said no,” the president explained. “I’m going to be wearing dark glasses…
Dolly Parton Reminisces About Earning the Money to Spoil Her Parents
On December 10 NBC premiered Coat Of Many Colors, a biopic about Dolly Parton and her family. The movie, which “received NBC’s biggest ratings on Thursday night since the 2009 series finale of E/R” has inspired interest in Parton’s family life and, in the spirit of the holidays, she has shared her first experience…
My Dad Wrote a Porno Is the Thanksgiving Conversation Topic You've Been Waiting For
If your family Thanksgiving dinner fills you with dread and your relatives don’t like Adele enough to turn off their racist ranting to sing along to “Hello,” there’s a new and exciting thing to discuss with them over your Butterball—a podcast entitled My Dad Wrote a Porno, which is, as you might have guessed, about a…
An Excellent Argument for Cutting Toxic Parents Out of Your Wedding
It is a truth universally acknowledged that choosing who to invite to your wedding is about as pleasant as having your teeth drilled into dust by a sadistic dentist with a dull and rusty bit. But while deciding whether the cousins you haven’t seen for 15 years should get a save-the-date is difficult, it’s even more…
Tell Us About the Most Mortifying Thing Your Parents Have Ever Done
When you’re a kid and teenager, it often feels like your parents—those annoying, uncool jerks who put their blood, sweat, and tears into raising you and giving you a happy life—have but one singular goal: to embarrass you as much as possible. In this week’s Pissing Contest, we’re talking about the times when our folks…
Mother Outraged Over Unsightly Vagina on Teddy Bear Cake
Of all the things you’d imagine people would be legitimately outraged by, the genitals of teddy bears doesn’t immediately top the list. One mother in England, however, can’t get over the fact that her precious child’s christening cake looks like it’s showing off a whole lot of camel toe. Do you see it?
I Went to a Simulated Teen Drinking Party and It Freaked Me the Fuck Out
I’m far from the target audience for the simulated teen drinking party I attended last weekend—that audience being freaked-out parents who want to see what really goes on at the hormone-fueled ragers their children are just starting to attend—but let me start by saying that the whole thing was very effective. I was…
TX School Tells Dad to Cover 5-Year-Old's Shoulders; Dad Is All, 'Nah'
A Texas man wrote an impassioned blog post for the Houston Press after his five-year-old daughter was told by staff cover up her sinful shoulders and legs with a t-shirt and jeans.
Nightmare Parents Write Letter About Baby's Nightmare Birthday Party
There are lots of things to put into a baby’s memory book: Their first smile, their first step, their first time throwing up all over your back. And now, thanks to the magic of the internet, one baby will have something extra special to remind them how wonderful their parents were: A batshit birthday invite that…
How Do You Discipline a Child in the Post-Hitting Era?
American children are a bunch of spoiled brats. You've likely heard the refrain repeated for years now, and new verses are always being added. A couple years ago Elizabeth Kolbert's widely shared New Yorker article "Spoiled Rotten" remarked that, "With the exception of the imperial offspring of the Ming dynasty and…
Bride Gets Back at Awful Parents With Brilliant Burn of a Wedding Invite
Say you're getting married and don't want to invite your parents due to the abuse they visited upon you as a child. And say those same parents are now bullying you for an invitation. What do you do? If you're this bride, you send them an invitation that's so acid-dipped that you can feel the burn from here.
Clueless Mom Doesn't Get Why Her Kids Hate Her
PSA: Sometimes people really do hate you for no good reason and through no actions of your own. But if those people are your children, it's probably worth trying to figure out what really happened. Or, you could be like Elizabeth Vagnoni, who excels at digging into all facts except the most relevant.


