Lies I Tell My Toddler

All parents lie. My parents, your parents, your grandparents, me, and, if you're a parent, you. This is not, as our teenage selves suspect, due to any malicious desire to manipulate and deceive. Lying to our children is a goodamn necessity to make every day existence not only a harmonious as possible, but bearable. To… » 7/09/14 8:59pm Wednesday 8:59pm

Here's a Quick Glimpse of Tavi Gevinson on Parenthood

Rookie's Tavi Gevinson has been making an effort to get into acting and so far it seems to be going well. The prodigy starred alongside Julia Louis-Dreyfus in Enough Said, will appear on Broadway with Michael Cera in This Is Our Youth and is the special guest star on the season finale of Parenthood where she'll be… » 4/11/14 7:15pm 4/11/14 7:15pm

Friday Night Lights Band Crucifictorious Reunited on Parenthood

If you're looking for an update on what the Friday Night Lights band Crucifictorious has been up to since the series ended in 2011, consider your curiosity mildly sated. The band has reunited on a mini webisode of Parenthood, which means — hooray! — that Crucifictorious stayed together even after Lance Landry went… » 2/13/14 7:10pm 2/13/14 7:10pm

Maybe Don't Bring Your Baby to 3-Star Restaurant

Over the weekend, a couple brought their eight month old child to Alinea, a Chicago restaurant headed by Chef Grant Achatz that has 3 Michelin stars. Alinea is considered one of the best restaurants in the country/world, and is heralded for its complex prix fixe tasting menu that runs over $200 and is purchased with… » 1/14/14 11:20am 1/14/14 11:20am

Haven't Had Your Soul Ripped Out Through Your Chest Today? Read This.

Sorry in advance for what I'm about to do to you lovely people, but I can't be alone in these feelings anymore. Ariel Levy's essay in the latest issue of the New Yorker is devastating, grim, bleak, and... beautiful. And it's the best thing I've read, on the internet or elsewhere, in a long time. » 11/11/13 6:45pm 11/11/13 6:45pm

The Defamer TV Preview: What's Worth Watching This Fall

The fall is upon us: the leaves are turning brown, the children are turning smarter, and if you listen very, very closely you can hear the collective snap of a thousand child-proof caps of Xanax bottles being popped open by anxious TV executives all along Ventura Boulevard. So what's going to die? What's going to… » 9/16/13 1:57pm 9/16/13 1:57pm

Parents Now Expected to Need Loans For Kids' Preschool

Great idea alert! New York City mayoral candidate Christine Quinn would like to make education affordable to all, and thus wants to give upper middle class Manhattan parents the right to take out subsidized loans in order to pay for their children's pre-kindergarten & oh my god what even is this dumb country we live… » 8/05/13 8:30pm 8/05/13 8:30pm

Rick Perry Vows to Spend Literally Every Single Day of Texas's…

Brush off those anti-abortion bingo cards you set aside after last month's election, because Texas Governor Rick Perry just spewed out an alarming yet depressingly predictable bevy of buzzwords during a press conference organized by Texas Right to Life at a crisis pregnancy center today. (In Perry's dream Texas, CPCs… » 12/11/12 6:50pm 12/11/12 6:50pm

Major News Outlet Wants Feminist Author to Explain How She Lost the…

Jessica Valenti has a baby and a new book. And like any proud new book-parent, she's been promoting the book by pitching pieces to other news outlets about topics covered in the book. But one outlet in particular wasn't interested so much in her feminist take on society's depiction of pregnancy and parenthood.… » 9/14/12 6:00pm 9/14/12 6:00pm

Why Do We Suck at Taking Birth Control?

According to a new government report, American women, as a population, are not awesome at taking birth control. Okay, I'm not being fair — it's not American women in general who are bad, it's unmarried women who live with their significant others who are exceptionally not awesome at taking birth control. In fact, they… » 7/25/12 11:40am 7/25/12 11:40am

Getting Your Tubes Tied Is a Giant Pain in the Ass

For women who know deep down that they never want children, that hell no response to the thought of motherhood endures long after the echoes of a temper tantrum in the candy aisle at Target subside. But women who want to be sterilized often face obstacles that aren't present for other medical procedures — obnoxious,… » 7/09/12 11:40am 7/09/12 11:40am

You Sluts Are Having Fewer Abortions Than Ever, Thanks to the Pill

Pat your vagina on the back, ladies; a new report released today shows that the US birth rate is continuing to go down faster than a sorority girl in a tired sexist joke. But a reduction in birth rate isn't due to Operation Rescue nightmare-style use of abortion as birth control; rather, diligent use of contraception… » 6/20/12 11:40am 6/20/12 11:40am

More Same-Sex Couples Cashing-In on Parenting Holidays than Ever Before

On a day when cultural conventions have forced us to laud fatherhood by purchasing something at Lowe's, it might be worth noting that more lucky kids than ever will only have to remember one of the parental holidays the evil greeting card conglomerates have foisted onto our Gregorian calendar. The Census Bureau… » 6/17/12 12:00pm 6/17/12 12:00pm

Contemplate Maggie Gyllenhaal’s Newest Parenting Dilemma

Maggie Gyllenhaal, star of what's rumored to be an inexplicably boring movie about Victorian-era vibrators, has recently given birth to her second daughter and faces a dilemma common to working parents — balancing parenthood, her career, and her relationship with husband Peter Sarsgaard. Gyllenhaal's particular… » 5/20/12 6:00pm 5/20/12 6:00pm

Turns Out Dads Get Postpartum Depression Just as Often as Moms

We usually think of postpartum depression as the domain solely of mothers, since they're, you know, the ones who are literally post-partum. But a new study has found that, in fact, fathers suffer from postpartum depression at a very similar rate to mothers. Whoa. It's like how dads get sympathy cravings while their… » 4/27/12 10:00am 4/27/12 10:00am

Why Do You Suddenly Look 100 Years Older After Having a Baby?

Try this experiment, new moms everywhere: Go into the bathroom, position yourself in front of the mirror, and give yourself your biggest, brightest, most enthusiastic smile and thumbs up with the best posture you can muster. If that sends wincing grandma pains through your back, head, shoulders, vagina, and left… » 3/20/12 6:30pm 3/20/12 6:30pm

Texas Sues the Obama Administration for Making It Look Like a Big Jerk

Just on the heels of the federal government's [obligatory] decision to pull its funding from Texas' Medicaid Women's Health Program after Gov. Slick Rick Perry prevented Planned Parenthood clinics from also receiving some of that federal scratch, the Texas attorney general on Friday filed suit against the Obama… » 3/17/12 1:00pm 3/17/12 1:00pm