Sarah Palin is not the Vice President. She's not the Governor of Alaska. She's not an elected official. She's not a Fox News contributor, and she's not a panelist on The View. She's also not a comedian or a professional driver.

This year, former Alaska governor and current idiot whisk Sarah Palin has opted to celebrate Martin Luther King, Jr Day by embarrassing white people everywhere and imploring the President to "stop playing the race card."

Sarah Palin, a human angry telephone call from an apoplectic aunt whose opinion you long ago stopped valuing, is BACK (I didn't realize that she'd gone away, otherwise I'd had spent more time cherishing my precious Palin-free days). The former Alaska governor and current Alaska embarrassment's recent media blitz has…

Former Alaska governor and current ??? Sarah Palin, who has a rare condition that renders her incapable of improvement, appeared on Megyn Kelly's show on Fox News yesterday. And it was... even more of a shitshow than most Sarah Palin appearances. Even Megyn Kelly — tough, no-nonsense host Megyn Kelly — had trouble…

Sarah Palin's creatively named "Sarah PAC" has spent $774,000 in the third quarter of this year and taken in more than $800,000, ostensibly from an invisible class people that have tons of disposable income and somehow lack any goddamn sense. So what's the former Governor of Alaska cum professional shouting machine…

Looks like we've got a Republican etiquette concern on our hands, folks. Even after what seems like a centuries-long career of tossing meaningless word salad live on cable news, Alaska governor possible Presidential candidate rural mayor victor in the battle to overturn the Affordable Care Act hockey mom yammering…

After Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts rained his secret socialist gavel down on Obamacare, vocal anti-reality advocate Sarah Palin managed to make it through all five Kübler-Ross stages of grief. Publicly, and hilariously.

Freelance political soundbyte-for-hire Sarah Palin appeared on Fox News yesterday to provide some expert analysis on the Iowa caucuses, and also to dazzle the viewing audience with her new, wavy hair.

Sarah Palin has enjoyed a long, illustrious career in quitting. She quit her job as governor. She quit attending four different colleges. She quit her reality show. She quit her big fancy cross-country bus tour, and then quit calling it "quitting." But now, finally, after what seems like decades of dealing with her…

An advance review of Joe McGinniss's The Rogue: Searching for the Real Sarah Palin has accomplished the seemingly impossible: making me want to read Levi Johnston's memoir.

Sarah Palin has put her bus tour on hold because she has jury duty. This is also why she can't come to your birthday party, and why her TPS reports were not filed on time.

Thousands and thousands of pages of Sarah Palin's emails were released to the public this week. Turns out, the former governor and current just plain normal person drivin' around Real America in a bus tastefully emblazoned with a picture of the US constitution almost as big as her hair was busy before she quit halfway…

Former Sarah Palin aide Frank Bailey has written a tell-all book, which comes out tomorrow. Let's take a look at what he'll reveal.

It's no surprise that Sarah Palin is a fan of February's media boycott of her activities (she's never been a fan of the media in the first place). What's surprising is why.

Bristol Palin has admitted (under duress) that she's dating a new guy. But she was much more excited to talk about how much Levi sucks.

When Sarah Palin used a bunch of gun-related images to rile up her supporters and get them to "target" certain members of Congress, I guess she didn't count on the fact that "real America" isn't great at metaphors. Commence backpedaling!

Sun Devilry, that is. The dancin'-est Palin reportedly purchased a home near Tempe, Arizona, fueling rumors that a college career could be in her future. Will Arizona State University, "the Harvard of date rape," be ready for this jelly?

The Mama Grizzly That America Never Asked For normally makes me want to punch baby deer, but I was actually able to watch this clip from her upcoming reality show with the sound on. What. The. Fuck.

Not to be outdone by Levi, Bristol Palin has appeared in a music video for the Alaska band Static Cycle. Now you can watch her caress a weird ice rose while wearing a fur hat.

• More and more details are emerging about Chelsea's impending nuptials. She's picked the place (the Astor estate in Rhinebeck, New York) and the rehearsal dinner caterer (Terrapin restaurant). She even purchases some "understated" pillows from a local shop.