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posts about #oralsex more →
"Superbly Sculpted By A European Artist"
Dr. Phil's Teen Oral Sex Show Is Infuriating
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'Black Widows' Get Life In Prison • Greek Police Bust Oral Sex Competition
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BetteD
11/17/09

In reply to "Superbly Sculpted By A European Artist"
Two things:

1) Are Oral Sex Phone nipples anything like Barbie shoes? Like, they just get lost and eaten by the dog? 'Cause WTF?

2) I want one. #oralsexphone
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sybann
11/16/09

In reply to "Superbly Sculpted By A European Artist"
More importantly - is that PAUL ANKA?! #oralsexphone
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sybann
11/16/09

In reply to "Superbly Sculpted By A European Artist"
Is her vag spewing doubloons? #oralsexphone
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whats_in_a_name
11/16/09

@sybann: Doesn't yours? #oralsexphone
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sybann
11/16/09

@whats_in_a_name: Not since the 'pause. ; ) #oralsexphone
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curiousgeorgiana
11/16/09

@whats_in_a_name:
@sybann: This is quite frankly, an awesome chain of funny. #oralsexphone
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LuvEwan
11/16/09

In reply to "Superbly Sculpted By A European Artist"
Chances are that whoever this guy is talking to, it's costing him like $2.99 a minute. #oralsexphone
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token_illiterate_commenter
11/16/09

In reply to "Superbly Sculpted By A European Artist"
This had to be an ad in Penthouse. Right next to the one selling a VHS version of "Caligula". #oralsexphone
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Cam/ron
11/16/09

@token_illiterate_commenter: or a full-page ad of Plato's Retreat, the fine swingers club for middle-aged salesmen with toupees. #oralsexphone
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Jack_Burton
11/16/09

@token_illiterate_commenter: "I'll put her right next to my brand-new Teletype machine. Goodbye football-phone!" #oralsexphone
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cirocco
11/17/09

@token_illiterate_commenter: It definitely ran in Penthouse, because I remember seeing it in my dad's porn collection. The Erotic Phone ad was the least traumatic part of that nightstand discovery, yet somehow the memory of it has stuck with me for thirty years. That, my friend, is some powerful cheese. #oralsexphone
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eatsshootsleaves
11/16/09

In reply to "Superbly Sculpted By A European Artist"
"Hey Mom! Oh, nothing, how about you? How's Aunt Carol?" #oralsexphone
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CurtCole
11/16/09

In reply to "Superbly Sculpted By A European Artist"
I would have made the phone jack doubled as an asshole. #oralsexphone
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lavenderstain
10/08/09

In reply to Dr. Phil's Teen Oral Sex Show Is Infuriating
I just love imagining her going up and telling people to stop "thrusting"
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schlegs84
10/08/09

@lavenderstain: "Leave room for the holy spirit"...
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annoir
10/08/09

In reply to Dr. Phil's Teen Oral Sex Show Is Infuriating
Ok, maybe I am a curmudgeon but comdoms and panties left on the dance floor does sound nasty to me.
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KATE!
10/08/09

In reply to Dr. Phil's Teen Oral Sex Show Is Infuriating
i hope i am never this type of middle-aged person.
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JulieSunday
10/08/09

In reply to Dr. Phil's Teen Oral Sex Show Is Infuriating
ps, i can't wait to find out how you can 'innoculate your daughter against [oral sex]." hopefully merck will come up with something.
and for the record, this woman he has in the first clip is a canadian documentary filmmaker/tabloid journalist. and the movie that she made to which she refers is about girls in CANADA. this fraud made the talkshow rounds a few months ago under the "oral sex is the new goodnight kiss" line and it was just as much bullshit then as it is now.
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pesematology
10/08/09

@JulieSunday: Doesn't innoculation involve exposure to something to boost immunity to future exposures?
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portia_sue
10/08/09

In reply to Dr. Phil's Teen Oral Sex Show Is Infuriating
For all the people concerned that the girls aren't getting anything in return, I'll offer my own story.

When I was 15, my boyfriend was 17. He went down on my all the time, and I never returned the favor. I was scared to death of his penis! And he never made me feel guilty about it. I think he got a lot of pleasure from making me happy. And the one time we almost had sex, I said no after the condom was on and he was ready to go, and he didn't give me any attitude or hassle.

I wonder how he's doing now, and I bet his girlfriend or wife is a very satisfied. I was very grateful to have such a good guy be the one to introduce me to sexuality, and he certainly earned some good karma.

There are good guys out there!
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wednesdayam
10/08/09

@portia_sue: That is awesome! More guys need to subscribe to that sort of maturity when in dating situations (hell, I'd love for men my age to be at that level). I cannot tell you the number of times I get caught up in some kissing and all of a sudden they try and pull a damned guilt trip on me because they got too horny. Nowadays, that's my sign to just end things ASAP and go the hell home, but when I was younger, I would actually bother arguing with them.
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portia_sue promoted this comment wednesdayam was starred wednesdayam was unstarred

portia_sue
10/08/09

@wednesdayam: Yeah, I was really lucky with that one. He was also the first person I had ever kissed, and he taught me how very patiently. This sounds pervy, but I think he had a sense of..helping me bloom? That sounds weird. Like grooming, which it wasn't at all. He just knew that there was a difference in experience levels there, and respected me.

It's funny that you mention men our age, because what I miss most about being in high school, even once I had had sex, was the way that making out for hours was an acceptable thing. Now, it's like, "Oh, my dick is hard, let's do something about that! Right now." No. I would like to make out for hours again. I think it would make sex more exciting, too.
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Toastgod
10/08/09

@portia_sue: I was like that with my high school girlfriend. I wasn't very much more experienced than her—she'd never kissed anyone and I'd kissed a little—but at the time it seemed like a massive gap. I knew I was gonna be her first everything and I worked really hard to make her comfortable, because I never wanted to be a bad memory. The first day that I got her relaxed enough to walk around the room naked, by pointing out that everyone looks silly with their clothes off, was a particular triumph.

Some guys get off on feeling like a nice guy.
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portia_sue
10/08/09

@Toastgod: Awww, Yay!

If you are not still with her (probably not, since it seemed like you were speaking in the past tense) know that she probably remembers you with a lot of affection and gratitude for being so great.

You just made my day! It's so nice to hear from the good guys.
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buymecandy
10/08/09

@portia_sue: making out for hours rules!
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mrdlister
10/08/09

@portia_sue: I had a high school boyfriend like that. I was 14 and scared of the penis, so I never returned the favor. Of course he wanted sex, but I wasn't ready and he never made me feel bad, and he'd just go down on me for hours. I know 2 other girls who went out with him and they all said the same thing, "even if we were only hanging out for an hour, he'd still go down on me" and we all felt so lucky.

After barely seeing him for years we reconnected on his 18th birthday and I took his virginity. It just didn't seem right that a guy who'd done so much for the pleasure of girls never got much in return. But he was so big I almost cried, so I understand why we were all so scared of the penis.
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portia_sue
10/08/09

@mrdlister: Oh, what a sweet story! Though I did laugh at the whole 'he was really big' thing. I sort of wish I had the same happy ending.
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edu-mom
10/08/09

In reply to Dr. Phil's Teen Oral Sex Show Is Infuriating
Those stats, 55% and 54% of boys and girls 15-19 are involved in oral sex? That's it? Seeing that 18 is the oldest age of consent in the US, and most people are sexually active by then, why are only half having oral sex?
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girl.of.your.dreams
10/08/09

@edu-mom: Right? The only thing shocking about this statistic is how low it is.
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razzle dazzle
10/08/09

In reply to Dr. Phil's Teen Oral Sex Show Is Infuriating
Sorry to be the annoying one in this comment section, but I do remember feeling pressured sexually in junior high and high school. I was very curious, but also very not ready. I thought I would be able to keep my dreamy boyfriend if I just did what he wanted. Maybe I'm just some freak of nature.

People have different reasons for doing what they do, and being honest about those reasons can be rare when it comes to things like sex. People might think they wont seem as sophisticated if they admit their alterior motives and not just express a love for the dick.

Just sayin'.
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slowpoke.r
10/08/09

@razzle dazzle: I don't think you're being annoying, I think that what you're saying is actually the point of this post. Everyone deals with sexuality in their own time and their own way, and characterizing all girls as being whores or virgins doesn't help any person, male or female, navigate the complex world of adolescent sex. Open dialogue about the pressures that you felt would go much further towards alleviating those pressures than the "protect our girls" mantra ever, ever could.
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Cam/ron
10/08/09

In reply to Dr. Phil's Teen Oral Sex Show Is Infuriating
Sigh, I just had a flashback to Oprah's mighty expose on teen sex trends where she taught the world about "tossed salads" and how "rainbow parties" work.
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