Jezebel 
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New York, 12:39 AM
Mon Nov 9
22 posts in the last 24 hours
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and for the record, this woman he has in the first clip is a canadian documentary filmmaker/tabloid journalist. and the movie that she made to which she refers is about girls in CANADA. this fraud made the talkshow rounds a few months ago under the "oral sex is the new goodnight kiss" line and it was just as much bullshit then as it is now.
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When I was 15, my boyfriend was 17. He went down on my all the time, and I never returned the favor. I was scared to death of his penis! And he never made me feel guilty about it. I think he got a lot of pleasure from making me happy. And the one time we almost had sex, I said no after the condom was on and he was ready to go, and he didn't give me any attitude or hassle.
I wonder how he's doing now, and I bet his girlfriend or wife is a very satisfied. I was very grateful to have such a good guy be the one to introduce me to sexuality, and he certainly earned some good karma.
There are good guys out there!
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It's funny that you mention men our age, because what I miss most about being in high school, even once I had had sex, was the way that making out for hours was an acceptable thing. Now, it's like, "Oh, my dick is hard, let's do something about that! Right now." No. I would like to make out for hours again. I think it would make sex more exciting, too.
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Some guys get off on feeling like a nice guy.
10/08/09
If you are not still with her (probably not, since it seemed like you were speaking in the past tense) know that she probably remembers you with a lot of affection and gratitude for being so great.
You just made my day! It's so nice to hear from the good guys.
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After barely seeing him for years we reconnected on his 18th birthday and I took his virginity. It just didn't seem right that a guy who'd done so much for the pleasure of girls never got much in return. But he was so big I almost cried, so I understand why we were all so scared of the penis.
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People have different reasons for doing what they do, and being honest about those reasons can be rare when it comes to things like sex. People might think they wont seem as sophisticated if they admit their alterior motives and not just express a love for the dick.
Just sayin'.
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Couldn't be clearer. Wouldn't say that about my son. Wouldn't say that about my daughter. Wouldn't think of it either. Why 14? Why not 10? Because she's a baby, that's why. Just because my baby wants to have a cookie before dinner doesn't mean she should have one. Just because she stole one when I wasn't looking and did not explode doesn't mean she was educated about healthy eating, respect for herself and others (say, table manners), and diabetes.
I'm curious as to what other commentator's thoughts are on this point.
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I sure am glad I'm not your kid. Personally, I think that equating teenagers being raised in a sex-positive environment with children stealing cookies from the cookie jar is pretty telling - and scary. I'm glad there are moms like mesmerelda out there to raise kids who have a better chance of not developing issues with sex, self image, etc.
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At the age of 14, there's a big difference four years in either direction. This is because the little person is a child. Children should not be having sex. A 10yo is a child. A 14yo is a child. I used "babies" to emphasize the fact that these are children we're talking about, not adults.
It's not about being in denial that a very young teenager has hormones or their own desires, or peer pressures; it's about having the wisdom of experience, that comes with life into adult, to steer that child into adulthood. I'd want my kid to be studying her school books, not how to give the best hand job on the block.
I do not suggest that the 14yo was disrespecting her parents or herself -- although that may have been the case; I argue that children need to be taught to respect themselves and (for boys in particular) to respect others, as well. Just because a 14yo, as mesmerelda puts it, "feels in love and/or confident enough" to have sex does not mean that she is putting herself in a smart or safe situation. Consider a boy who isn't satisfied with oral sex and coerces, not necessarily physically, the child to go even further, or to not use any protection. These are adult situations because of the serious consequences that can result from personal decisions. Children are not especially equiped to deal them. Not to mention the statistical likely that some of these girls would become pregnant, and be unable to pursue their education past the legally mandated age.
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I do think it's an inappropriate and an unnecessary activity for a 14yo though. Again, otherwise I'd have to believe that you're suggesting it's okay for a 10yo or younger to be having oral sex.
What? So anyone who says that some 14-year-olds might be mature enough to engage in some sexual activities is automatically saying that 10-year-olds should be having oral sex? I don't follow this logic and I'm not sure I want to.
10/08/09
I would hope the same as you say. I just don't think it should start so soon. I appreciate that kids mature at different rates; but you were mature for what? For pregnancy? For rape? For VD? These issues are hard enough for an adult to deal with, that's why we protect our children from them.
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Listen, I'm not saying that a girl or boy who has oral sex or plain old sex at 14yo should be ashamed of theirself, or that they are bad children. I'm also not saying that their parents would be bad parents, either.
I'm 27; I don't have kids. Maybe, like theonlybirdleftintheaviary, it is partly the uncomfortable idea of my child engaging in sexual activity, but it also has to do with the way I was raised. I became sexually active at 16 with my girlfriend. We were in love, and as committed as high school sweethearts could have been. I was an extremely mature boy. But I also know now, as an adult, that I was in no way ready to deal with the responsibility of fatherhood and other realities at that age. I know that girls have the added, and constant, pressure of date rape. I have several ladyfriends who've went through such an awful experience because they perhaps thought they were mature girls at 14. My girlfriend at 16, herself, went through it at 14. I'd not want my future daughter to go through the same hardship, even if they're stronger women for it now.
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It's not surprising to me that the thought of your children having sex is icky, but to avoid dealing with it and talking to them about good choices and outcomes until way after they may be having sex does them a disservice and doesn't protect them at all. I was told where babies came from as soon as I asked (at age 4) via the fabulous picture book, and given a copy of Our Bodies Ourselves at age 12. I knew my parents had sex and enjoyed it, I was taught it was something fun/awesome/special you did with someone you loved. The religion I was raised in is pretty sex-positive and fairly liberal, which certainly helped.
And I think as a result of all that I was able to make good choices, and explore sexuality at a level I was comfortable with. My best friend's father died of AIDS before I ever had sex, so that really sold me on the necessity of condom usage. I didn't lose my virginity till I was almost 17, long after most of my friends, and it was a sweet clumsy experience with someone I really cared about. But I was certainly exploring other options long before then.
Educating me about sex (even when it made them feel uncomfortable) helped me avoid many of the pitfalls and pressures my female friends experienced..those friends who were told "don't have sex it's evil before marriage and that's all you need to know". It also has a lot to do with why I've never had a pregnancy scare or gnarly STDs. My dad certainly felt uncomfortable at the thought of me having sex, when my senior year boyfriend came to visit from boarding school for a week, my dad asked me not to have sex in the house because the thought of it freaked him out. And because he was so honest and upfront about his feelings, I didn't.
tl;dr summary : a 10 year old is not a 14 year old, pretending your children will never have oral sex/p-v sex puts them at much greater risk.
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Are these girls getting head too? I hope so!!
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I think the important thing is to make sure teens are armed with all of the information and are getting checked out by a physician on a regular basis and understand the responsibilities involved with a sexual relationship, rather than just hearing that it's bad and Dr. Phil says no!
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early ages when they should be building themselves up and gaining an education, learning to be strong, growing persons ,not consumers via sex pathways.
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And why is developing and educating yourself exclusive to having sexual relationships? I had boyfriends in high school and college. I also graduated with honors and obtained a bachelor's degree in a field that interested me. It's not an either or. Get over yourself.
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Some of these 'teens' you all keep mentioning were only 10 or 11.
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Shows of this ilk love taking one or two extreme examples (which probably had a variety of factors leading into them, such as childhood abuse) and extrapolating them into "The kids these days!"
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Looking back I feel sorry for those boys. It was probably the toothiest head ever. Hah!
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And this educator they featured really needs to pull her head out of her ass. Teens are bursting with hormones and bad judgment, and have been since we developed oppose-able thumbs, and yet these examples surprise you?
Tomorrow on Dr. Phil:
Aging: People Die From It
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