Anne Hathaway Confesses To Irrational Hatred For Random New England…

Have you ever wondered if Jennifer Aniston finds you boring, Gwyneth Paltrow thinks you're kind of pretentious, or Kim Kardashian wonders why you even got hired in the first place? » 9/09/11 12:50pm 9/09/11 12:50pm

"Picassoesque Face" Our New Least-Favorite Insult

Despite all the joy The Onion has brought us, we occasionally rue the day they became the arbitrators of intelligent satire. Because sometimes, like when the joke can be reduced to lulz ugly women!, it's just not that funny. [TheOnion] » 6/07/10 3:20pm 6/07/10 3:20pm

New Orleans Doctors Prescribe Drinking, Sex

I was ready to make a health-conscious life change on the basis of this report until I heard: "New Orleans doctors also strongly advise that young women expose their breasts to screaming crowds at least once a year." [Onion] » 6/03/10 1:20pm 6/03/10 1:20pm

Onion Takes Aim At Gwynnie, Misses The Mark

Poor Gwyneth. Not only is GOOP the most hated lifestyle blog, The Onion has the entire internet waiting to see her injured. Punching jokes = as cringe-worthy as anything Paltrow has done. (Nice SATC kicker, though). [The Onion] » 4/20/10 9:40am 4/20/10 9:40am

"Proving That A Woman Can Rule With An Iron Fist Just As Well As A Man"

Progress: They has it! Click through to see the Onion's hard-hitting reporting on East Timor's first female dictator and to be "terrified and oppressed by one of our own," who (natch) has a feminine side. [Onion] » 4/08/10 9:40am 4/08/10 9:40am

Domesticating Women: Funny, Too Close For Comfort

"A valuable commodity with seemingly endless uses, the woman has played a crucial role throughout human history...disobedience on the part of women was not taken lightly; physical punishments and restrictive harnesses were often employed to curb any independent behavior." [TheOnion] » 12/17/09 9:20am 12/17/09 9:20am

Porn Misleading Kids About The True Nature Of Sex

Fresh from The Onion news channel: porn is (wrongly) teaching kids that sex can be enjoyable. Also, Grand Theft Auto fails to teach children about "the emotional side of killing whores." [The Onion] » 4/20/09 3:30pm 4/20/09 3:30pm