'I Have Something Special to Show You' and Other Ways to Ruin a One Night Stand

I scored a stand-up gig opening for a local headliner at a comedy club in Orange, New Jersey. Calling it a comedy club was generous — it was more of an abandoned event space in the basement of a family restaurant. The stage was a small wooden platform, like a children's sandbox turned upside down, surrounded by a… »3/30/13 11:00am3/30/13 11:00am

Ryan Lochte Says He's Never Even Had a One Night Stand, Wins Gold in Backpedaling

Olympic swimmer and terribly attractive toolbag Ryan Lochte raised some eyebrows (and skirts) last week when his mother told the press that her son "only goes out on one night stands." After the interview went viral, his mother urgently clarified, saying she meant "dates," and then Lochte backstroked all the way to… »8/06/12 3:40pm8/06/12 3:40pm

Ryan Lochte and Ryan Lochte's Mom Issue Urgent Clarification About Ryan Lochte's Penis

Earlier this week, Olympic swimmer Ryan Lochte's mother told the press that her preening, winking Adonis of a son had no time for relationships because he was always "on the go." "He only goes on one night stands," she said. And it's all America's vaginas could talk about for the next 24 hours. But now, both Lochte… »8/03/12 1:25pm8/03/12 1:25pm

Turns Out, Getting Slutty on the First Date Can Actually Lead to Marriage

Conventional wisdom tells us that elegant, desirable ladies—long-term investment pieces—never do sex on the first date, no matter how much they want to. Not that they do want to, because "wanting to" is a male domain, while the female domain is mainly parasol twirling, nose powdering, and not putting out. Oh, but the… »7/06/12 2:00pm7/06/12 2:00pm

Advertising Standards Authority Says There's No Shame in 'Walk of Shame' Ad

There's no shame in the one night stand, says the UK's Advertising Standards Authority (ASA), which ruled that a Harvey Nichols video advertisement depicting skimpily-dressed women blinking in the morning daylight as they slink by construction workers, eat street food, and stumble in heels "did not reinforce… »3/21/12 12:00pm3/21/12 12:00pm

A new study published in the June issue of Human Nature finds that women have more negative feelings

A new study published in the June issue of Human Nature finds that women have more negative feelings after a one-night stand than men. Researchers feel that this is indicative of the failure of the "free love" movement, since women are not enjoying the casual sex they are having. According to the survey, 80% of men… »6/25/08 1:30pm6/25/08 1:30pm

Baffled Scientists Discover That People Get Drunk To Get Laid

In a new study that has left researchers puzzled and concerned, it turns out that 33% of men and 23% of women in Europe drink to increase their chances of getting laid. The problem, you see, is that most people used to think that getting the people they wanted to have sex with drunk increased their chances of getting… »5/09/08 5:20pm5/09/08 5:20pm