Brooding Teen Harry Styles Reads Bukowski On Stage

During a recent One Direction concert in Boston, Harry Styles clasped a copy of Charles Bukowski's You Get So Alone at Times That it Just Makes Sense in his tattooed fingers and pursed his lips contemplatively. "Ah," thought Harry Styles, reaching unprecedented heights of Hot Brooding Teen in that singular… » 8/08/14 2:00pm 8/08/14 2:00pm

'Knotting' Is the Weird Fanfic Sex Trend That Cannot Be Unseen

I'm going to start this real slow and lay out the facts: Knotting is a popular trend in fan fiction. It involves men having sex with men like wolves. And it often leads to male pregnancy, which leads to male delivery. And the people giving birth to feces-covered babies are often members of One Direction. » 7/18/14 1:00pm 7/18/14 1:00pm

Book Is Supposedly New 50 Shades, But Is Really Just Sloppy Fanfic

The latest, greatest thing has bubbled up from the depths of the Youth Internet. It's the serial novel After, written in installments by a 25-year-old Texan named Anna Todd. And it's pretty much the One Direction fanfic version of 50 Shades of Gray. If you've ever wanted to bone Harry Styles, well, this is the novel… » 4/18/14 7:46pm 4/18/14 7:46pm

Desperate Dad Goes to Prison for One Direction Bomb Threat

William H. Klein, a 47-year-old New Jersey man, was sentenced to 8 months in federal prison and 2 months of house arrest this week for calling in a bomb threat before a July 5 One Direction concert at Hersheypark in Hershey, Pennsylvania. Klein, a divorced father of two, made the call after failing to procure tickets… » 2/26/14 2:50pm 2/26/14 2:50pm

Paul Rudd, One Direction’s Most Shameless Adult Fan

The guileless Paul Rudd sells his One Direction fanhood so hard that it almost doesn't seem creepy for him to mill around outside of a concert with the boyband's legion of young girl fans, exchanging gossip, braiding hair, and asserting his primacy as the most ardent and shameless of all the One Direction fans in the… » 12/08/13 12:00pm 12/08/13 12:00pm

Open Thread: Paul Rudd Hosts SNL with a Gaggle Of Walnut Fritters

Oh shoot. Sorry, that's actually One Direction! I get those British boy bands and my pastries confused all the time. It happens. Anyway, I know we tend to say 'your boyfriend Famous Actor So and So' around these parts a whole lot, but I am telling you—PAUL RUDD IS MY BOYFRIEND* OMG AND I love him with all the mighty… » 12/07/13 11:25pm 12/07/13 11:25pm

Watch One Direction Sweat and Spank Each Other After Workouts

You know what's really been missing in your One Direction fan worship collection of miscellany, other than a real, freshly-clipped cuticle from Harry's weird sixth toe? No, not a lock of Liam's butthair, GOD — a workout video featuring all the boyzzz sweating, panting, and testing the waters of some safe BDSM play. » 11/24/13 5:30pm 11/24/13 5:30pm

Vengeful Mom Sells 'Trollop' Daughter's One Direction Tickets on eBay

If your daughter and her "bitchy little friends" fib about having a sleepover so they can "hang like little trollops" at an older guy's house, you should probably sell their One Direction tickets on eBay so they'll remember that their parents — who know all about lying, because "tricks like this on OUR parents is how… » 9/20/13 12:20pm 9/20/13 12:20pm