Ryan Lochte, Boy Genius, Announces Amazing Discoveries About Water,…

Olympic gold medalist and soon-to-be 30 Rock "sex idiot" Ryan Lochte has captured America's imagination with his chiseled pecks and flaccid, chlorine addled mind. And while his time in the public eye has been characterized by such knowledge nuggets as "Getting back in shape is rough but luv it" and "The world is my… » 9/27/12 5:15pm 9/27/12 5:15pm

Here's Ryan Lochte's Piss-Happy Acting Debut

Ryan Lochte has been threatening to try acting for several days now, and he's followed through in record time (we should have expected that one of the fastest men in the water would quickly swim to an indelible part of the pop culture psyche). Here's his first installment of LochTV, a Funny or Die video series that… » 8/09/12 4:00pm 8/09/12 4:00pm

Someone at NBC Apparently Approved This Creepy, Porny Video of Female…

Have you barfed yet today? Get thee to a drain of some kind before watching this video the pervs over at NBC have put together in order to show their appreciation for Olympic bodies of the 2012 London Games. Unfortunately, to NBC, showcasing the "Bodies in Motion" of the XXX Olympiad means taking footage of… » 8/09/12 3:00pm 8/09/12 3:00pm

America Loves a Crying Gymnast

American Jordyn Wieber is gymnastics' reigning World Champion and was a favorite to take home an all-around medal during the London Olympic games — until yesterday. Even though she performed well, it wasn't enough. Fate and goofy Olympic rules intervened and Wieber was knocked from the all-around final by her underdog… » 7/30/12 11:45am 7/30/12 11:45am

Just in Case You Forgot, Olympic Athletes Eat Buckets of Delicious Junk…

It's time for yet another installation of the Summer Olympics, which means that it's time for yet more special-interest pieces from venerable news outlets about how much food pelican-mouthed Olympians shovel down their gullets while training. (In case you didn't know, they eat a whole lot of food.) » 7/26/12 9:30am 7/26/12 9:30am

Vogue Fails Miserably at Capturing the Athleticism of Olympic Athletes

Hot on the heels of making a pledge to be "ambassadors for the message of healthy body image," Vogue has made its June issue the Olympic edition, complete with Olympians on its cover. Sounds great, right? You might think this is a great chance to showcase the bodies of these athletes in action, to prove that powerful,… » 5/29/12 10:00am 5/29/12 10:00am

Saudi Arabia Solves Gender Inequality By Allowing One Woman To Compete…

For the first time in the history of the games, Saudi Arabia is allowing women to compete on their country's Olympic team during the 2012 summer games in London. We are truly making great strides. Wait, Saudi Arabia only did it because the International Olympic Committee threatened to bar them from the London Olympics… » 12/01/11 2:30pm 12/01/11 2:30pm