White House Run Will Literally Kill Hillary, Says Dubious Source

The National Enquirer has published a "piece" or "article" called WHITE HOUSE RUN WILL KILL HILLARY. It reads like The Onion decided to take every article written about Hillary Clinton in the past few years and mash them together into a Hillary Clinton conspiracy theorist's wet dream. » 12/03/13 4:50pm 12/03/13 4:50pm

In China, People Might Soon Be Required By Law to Visit Their Elderly…

How would you like to be required by law to visit your elderly parents? That could soon be the case in China, where they are discussing requiring children to "often visit" or "send respects to" aging parents. Does sending flowers on holidays count? According to state television, 33 percent of people in a recent survey… » 6/29/12 9:30am 6/29/12 9:30am

Nursing Homes Aren't Letting Old People Have Enough Sex

There are some things that sound pretty nice about spending your final years in a nursing home. You have people to do your laundry for you, you don't have to cook, and you have a ready-made group of friends to go around stirring up mischief with. But, of course, there are plenty of obvious downsides too. And one of… » 6/25/12 11:00pm 6/25/12 11:00pm

That Old People Smell Is Real—And It's Surprisingly Delightful

We all know that particular scent that old people have. It's subtly sweet but also brings to mind decay and mortality. It's complex, like a fine wine. Well, anyway, it turns out that science has spent some valuable time confirming that, in fact, the scent does exist, and it's actually rather pleasing. » 5/30/12 11:55pm 5/30/12 11:55pm

Let This Hilarious Elderly Couple Teach You How to Survive 72 Years of…

There's plenty of clichéd advice on how to have a long, happy marriage, but in this video of a wedding toast they made, Selma and Kenny offer their own hilarious approach to having a lasting and joyous union. Two important points to remember: always keep food in the fridge "because you don't want to be hungry or… » 4/30/12 9:45pm 4/30/12 9:45pm

What Can an Older Version of Yourself Teach You? Wear Sunscreen and…

For most young-ish people, it's easy to be cavalier about things like saving for your eventual retirement. But what if you were forced to confront an older version of yourself in the mirror? Besides freaking out about how wrinkly and sun-spotty you've gotten, would it make you think twice about setting some money… » 4/12/12 4:30pm 4/12/12 4:30pm

95-Year-Old Woman Sets World Record By Marrying Her Adorable…

Yesterday 95-year-old Lillian Hartley married her longtime sweetheart 98-year-old Allen Marks. The two, who were both widowed, met at a temple in Palm Springs 18 years ago and have been "living together in sin," as Lillian joked, ever since. They haven't gotten married until now because they've been too busy—they like… » 3/01/12 9:45pm 3/01/12 9:45pm

Stress Will Make You Old and Decrepit

Here's some bad news: being stressed, or even thinking about future stress, makes your cells age faster. But relax! Don't worry! I can practically see your telomeres shortening! » 2/22/12 5:10pm 2/22/12 5:10pm

After 77 Years Of Wedded Bliss, 99-Year-Old Husband Files For Divorce

You might think that once you've passed your 75th wedding anniversary, it'd be smooth sailing through the golden years of your marriage and then into the great beyond. But unfortunately that's not the case for one Italian couple who are getting divorced at the ripe old ages of 99 and 96, after an impressive 77 years… » 12/29/11 2:45pm 12/29/11 2:45pm

A New Development In The Quest For Mouse Immortality

A study in mice shows that if you kill off aging, poorly-functioning cells in mice, the mice become healthier, more attractive, and more fun to be around. This is obviously the key to human immortality — as long as it doesn't kill us. » 11/02/11 6:15pm 11/02/11 6:15pm

See Decades Of Little Old Ladies From 130 Years Of Old Maid

The origins of the card game Old Maid trace back to the 17th century, with players trying to form pairs out of all of their cards until someone—the loser—is left with the lonely, unmatched, single old maid. In the past 130 years, retail card decks have been produced specifically for Old Maid, always featuring… » 6/14/11 5:40pm 6/14/11 5:40pm

Things Happened When Men Wore Eleganza

Ooh, what kinds of things? Well, sometimes women would kneel down at their feet and worship you. Neat! But not always—sometimes the ladies would just stand behind you, or touch your shoulder (maybe after women's lib took hold?) » 11/27/10 1:20pm 11/27/10 1:20pm

It's Time To Confront Our Fear Of The Aging Female Face

Actress Harriet Walter has curated an exhibit at London's National Theater called "Infinite Variety," which celebrates something we seldom see in magazines or advertising: "the beauty of the aging female face." » 6/15/10 5:00pm 6/15/10 5:00pm

Naked Marc Jacobs Hawks Cologne; Thieves Rob Kate Moss

Turning 40: Is Madonna The New Role Model?

Newsweek's Raina Kelley, who turns 40 next week, writes, "I don't want to be 40, but, as my dad says, what's the alternative?" In these uncertain times. Kelley is looking to a "model for how to live life": Madonna. » 4/26/10 3:20pm 4/26/10 3:20pm

S. Korea Creates "Safe" Spaces For Female Drivers • Real Life Judge…

South Korea has started painting off certain, extra-roomy parking spaces with pink flowers to denote that they're for unskilled drivers only... i.e. women. » 4/16/09 5:20pm 4/16/09 5:20pm