Nuns Support Themselves Selling Cheesecakes

There’s not much money in a life of quiet contemplation, which is tough, because quiet contemplation while ConEd comes to turn off your electricity is challenging. Which is why some nuns in upstate New York sell cheesecake. Fancy cheesecake, billed as “heavenly,” in flavors like key lime and chocolate. Tasty, tasty… » 7/24/15 7:00pm 7/24/15 7:00pm

Vatican Concludes Six-Year Investigation of American Nuns 

In 2008, under then-pope Benedict XVI, the Vatican launched a broad investigation into the "quality of life" of American nuns, a move that, to a lot of those nuns, looked like it was meant to forcefully nudge them back in line. On Tuesday, the completed investigation was finally released; instead of being critical,… » 12/16/14 11:10am 12/16/14 11:10am

Nuns Are So Hot Right Now They're Getting Their Own Reality Show

Lifetime has green-lit a reality show about five young women living in a Catholic convent, who are trying to decide whether or not to become nuns 4 life. Titled The Sisterhood, the show is the brainchild of Hot Snakes Productions, who are also behind the painfully fake and boring Breaking Amish. Hopefully the nuns… » 4/24/14 7:00pm 4/24/14 7:00pm

Batshit Nun Tells Assembly of Teens That Masturbation Makes Them Gay

Students at Charlotte Catholic High School in Charlotte, North Carolina are angry after the school hosted Sister Jane Dominic Laurel, a professor at Nashville's Aquinas College, to lecture about homosexuality and, more specifically, how having divorced parents and masturbating can turn you gay. » 4/02/14 12:20pm 4/02/14 12:20pm

Catholic Nuns Come Out in Support of Obamacare Contraception Access

As the Supreme Court prepares to rule on the legality of private corporations denying women reproductive autonomy (because it says in the Bible that every pro-life human has a God-given right to trample upon the basic liberties of others), the National Coalition of American Nuns (NCAN) have announced that they support… » 3/18/14 5:15pm 3/18/14 5:15pm

'Birth Control Is Turning the Men Gay!' 14 Lessons from the Most…

In the run-up to an election, it's not uncommon for special interest groups to release ads pushing a specific agenda in the hopes of swaying voters as they head to the polls. But only once in a generation does a social awareness ad reach the heights of hyperbole-murdering crazy reached by this anti-contraception… » 10/02/12 11:30am 10/02/12 11:30am

82-Year-Old Nun Breaks into the 'Fort Knox of Uranium' to Expose Lax…

Oh, man. This is some straight-up Homer Simpson shit right here. Security guards at the Highly Enriched Uranium Materials Facility—which houses the components to make over 10,000 nuclear bombs—not only failed to notice a group of activists climbing over the fence into their half-billion-dollar weapons-grade uranium… » 9/14/12 2:50pm 9/14/12 2:50pm

Nuns Protesting Republican Budget Should be Pistol Whipped, Says Radio…

The problem with the phrase "War on Women" is that most people wouldn't actually consider something a war until someone gets shot or blown up. But if you ask one conservative radio host, the current political moment wouldn't be complete without some good old fashioned pistol whipping of nuns who think Paul Ryan's a… » 6/25/12 4:30pm 6/25/12 4:30pm

Rebel Nuns Sass Pope, Don Leather Jackets, Cruise Away Loudly on…

American nuns, fed up with the Vatican's dissent-squelching bullshit, have fired back at the Pope and his cronies, arguing that cracking down on holy ladies who question the teachings of the Church undermines the entire purpose of Catholicism as an evolving, living faith. Okay — those last two details in the headline… » 6/19/12 12:55pm 6/19/12 12:55pm