This New Carla Bruni-Sarkozy Profile Is Kind Of Depressing As Shit

Among the more high-profile women who seem frustratingly unwilling to grasp what feminism actually is, the former French First Lady Carla Bruni-Sarkozy — who garnered criticism when she told Vogue Paris last year that the country didn't need feminism anymore and that she herself wasn't a feminist — discussed the…

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Former French President in Trouble for Possibly Exploiting Demented…

Nicolas "Bling Bling" Sarkozy, former President of La France, spouse of the immeasurably calm Carla Bruni, and deadringer for Mickey Mouse, is currently at the center of an inquiry into whether he took advantage of Liliane Bettencourt, the 90-year-old L'Oreal heiress, for some campaign financing after she was already…

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The French Press Are Making Fun of Olivier Sarkozy for Dating…

Despite being taller and better-looking than his older half-brother Nicolas, Olivier Sarkozy has been snickered at by the French press and roundly derided as "the little French lover" ever since he made a half-twist can-opener splash in the tabloids for his burgeoning romance with Mary-Kate Olsen, whom some of you might…

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Meet the New King and Queen of France

French voters have decided that they no longer want mouseketeer Nicolas Sarkozy to lead their country through the financial Strait of Gibraltar that is the European debt crisis — they would like their next king to be François Hollande, whose companion, journalist Valerie Trierweiler, will share the throne after today's …

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The French President’s Marrying Authority Extends Beyond the Grave

French President Nicolas Sarkozy has granted permission for Caroline Monet, the pregnant girlfriend of a French paratrooper killed by Mohamed Merah, to marry her boyfriend posthumously, authority that the president can wield in certain cases of especial poignancy.

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Carla Bruni Is Pregnant, Says Sarkozy's Dad

French President Nicolas Sarkozy's father is confirming rumors that First Lady Carla Bruni is pregnant. "The two do not want to know the gender in advance, but I'm sure it will be a girl and as beautiful as Carla," says Pal Sarkozy, who has ultrasounds for eyes.

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Joan Vass, Who "Broke Every Rule Of The Business," Dead At 85

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White House Conspiracy Against Shirtless Obama Pics

Reporters traveling with the president on his Hawaii vacation have been sternly instructed not to sneak in any shirtless photos of Obama while he goes snorkeling. Our president, in addition to fielding security concerns, has to fight his own objectification!

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