Hello and welcome to Selfie Loathing, your Vanity Smurf k-hole sextravaganza. This week: Darren Criss makes an amazing Jareth; Jennifer Lopez is a doll; Dina Lohan is a pot of gold and Kelly Osbourne makes us cringe. Celebrity Instagrams, presented without comment. Enjoy.
Welcome back to America's favorite Vanity Smurf K-hole. This week, Ian Smolderhotter is snuggling with animals, Lindsay Lohan is covered in blood and Nicki Minaj has some weird ideas about what cop uniforms look like. Celebrity Instagrams (and maybe a Vine or two), presented without comment. Enjoy.
Thanks to American Horror Story: Coven, it was finally possible to nail down Madonna's secret for maintaining her youthful beauty.
Fleshy sarcophagus in which a sentient tongue is housed Miley Cyrus is up to her old tricks. By "old tricks," I mean "actin' like a big brat who lacks any semblance of self-awareness and scaring me over the Internet." And now, after penning some very rude, horrible and aggressive tweets
Nicki Minaj has partnered with Kmart to produce a line of garments that appear to be very very snug. And yet! There's some versatility here. Nicki Minaj offers ensembles for all occasions.
In today's Tweet Beat, Gucci Mane went on an insane rampage about the people that have fucked him over and who he has fucked or something? Anyway it is very long and we did not even include all of it but in response, Nicki Minaj VEHEMENTLY denied having anything to do with Gucci Mane's body. Also Victoria Beckham…
Here's what the stars were doing this week as they played paparazzi and turned the camera on themselves. Celebrity Instagrams (and maybe a Vine or two), presented without comment. Enjoy.
Though some photos of models wearing Nicki Minaj's new clothing line for Kmart have been released, it's only when Mariah Carey's arch-nemesis has chosen to Instagram photos of herself wearing the clothes that the purchasing public can realize the truth: Wearing these clothes are legitimately the most Nicki Minaj you…
Smarm machine Simon Cowell is allegedly having his first kid with his close friend Andrew Silverman's wife Lauren Silverman, a Jennifer-Garner-looking New York socialite who is reportedly about 10 weeks along.
DJ Khaled unleashed this immensely awkward but touchingly, impossibly genuine marriage proposal on Nicki Minaj via live MTV UK broadcast, in front of what appears to be Prince's naked Sealy mattress.
A little dingleberry hanging from the butt of humanity named Justin Bieber peed in a restaurant mop bucket in New York earlier this year because he is an ingrate, and there's a video. As previously evidenced by shenanigans at that Vegas indoor skydiving place
Ciara and Nicki Minaj released the video for their new song "I'm Out" during the BET Awards Sunday night. It features lots of skintight white body suits, a reference to Moscato because that's a drink black people like (haven't you heard
In an interview with the magazine Glam Belleza Latina, Salma Hayek managed to make the 50 pounds she put on when she was pregnant with daughter Valentina in 2007 sound like she spent 6 months in a cage playing mah jongg with the pinheads in the 1932 movie Freaks.
In today's edition of Tweet Beat, Amanda Bynes has become her own publicist, Nicki Minaj is giving ups to my immigrant parents, and Iggy Azalea speaks to the power of a good blow job.
Unlike the stuffy, proper garments you see at movie star events, the dress code at music award shows is usually a little wacky, very risqué and a lot of fun. And last night at the 2013 Billboard Music Awards, instead of good, bad, and ugly, the style was more good, bad, and ass-hanging-out.
Vivienne Pinay, a contestant from RuPaul's Drag Race season five, posts amazing drag makeup tutorials on YouTube, and in this one she documents every step in the process of her transformation into rapper Nicki Minaj. It's riveting.
Do you think you should let that male coworker take the last donut? No. Absolutely not. Don't let him have it right away, anyhow. Grab that donut and rub it all over your titties — you're establishing your territory. Give it back to your male coworker, then thump your chest like a gorilla and maybe flick him off.
Nicki Minaj uses the word "euphoric" to describe her style, but one could use that same word to describe her borderline manic facial expression on Teen Vogue's June/July cover. [MissJia]
Baby weight: A thing that happens, sometimes. Ways to fix/change it: Tuna melts*, not caring, doing Zumba or some shit, more tuna melts, or encasing yourself in a chamber of horrors like Jessica Alba. In an interview with Net-a-Porter's magazine, Alba divulges her post-pregnancy weight-loss secret after giving birth…
As the Rihanna bacchanal—Rihacchanal?—known as the Diamonds tour continues to suffer under the weight of four concert cancellations (Boston, March 10; Baltimore, March 12; Houston, April 15; Dallas, April 16) and late publicity appearances, the rumor mill was fed by her paparazzi-snapped exit from a Beverly Hills…
While she's been a lightning rod for claims of both feminism and anti-feminism (particularly since announcing her Mrs. Carter World Tour), Beyoncé has tended in the past to steer clear of the F-word that's put so many female celebrities
First order of business, when I become lady-president, THE OCEAN WILL BE ILLEGAL. Seriously, that shit is just a big wet menace full of teeth and ghosts. And the other day it tried to steal away Heidi Klum's son Henry and both of his nannies, prompting AquaKlum to jump in and save their lives in some epic mom-heroics.
Um! Janet Hubert, who played Aunt Viv on Great Show of Our Time The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air wrote a letter to Wendy Williams after the talk show host asked guest Tatyana Ali why Hubert left the show. (Williams alluded to the bad blood between Hubert and Will Smith.)
Jennifer Aniston, the quintessential grown-up Judy Blume heroine, has a lot of Very Important Decisions to make in the next few months as her wedding to Justin Theroux draws nigh. Apparently she's been quizzing Charlize Theron—mom of one-year-old Jackson Theron—about the process of adoption since mutual friend Chelsea…
On a scale of 1 to Daddy Issues, Selena Gomez ranks among Sylvia Plath, Angelina Jolie and the daughter of the Dos Equis guy, if he has one. Not to mention, let's be honest, most of us.
Nicki Minaj went on Extra to promote her MAC makeup collaboration VIVA Glam, and said that she's never had surgery on her face. "When people see my makeup they think all types of crazy things that I'm doing to my skin, but it's makeup." However, Minaj does not mention whether she had any work done below the neck, most…
A few days ago, Kim Kardashian said that what she got most from her relationship with Kanye West was an appreciation of privacy. The new cover of French fashion mag L'Officiel Hommes features Kimye's idea of what "privacy" is, whose definition clearly got switched to "maybe fucking on a magazine cover" in the Oxford…
