This week was, pardon my French, a piece of fucking merde. The news was so bad that we all became bored with bad news. To make matters worse, this week stretched on and on, like that time you spent an hour making out with the young man who your memory would come to know as Halitosis Guy you were 18 and too polite to…

• Governor Rod Blagojevich rammed his head more throughly up his ass and found someone to join him: former Illinois Attorney General Roland Burris, who is Blago's new appointment to Barack Obama's Senate seat. [Washington Post]

• DC artist Chris Bishop has created this extremely prescient image of the inauguration in T-shirt form for all your speech-watching needs. [Chris Bishop via Boing Boing]

• Some men grow beards in their 20s, even if they are actual royalty (we know that we already did a Snap Judgment of ol' beardo, but Will's beard deserves a double post). [Huffington Post]

• ... [wipes drool]
• Barack Obama is on vacation with his family in Kailua, Hawai'i this week. [Huffington Post]

• The Bidens plan to add to their household by getting another puppy from the pound. Double puppy snuggles! [Huffington Post]

• Bill Clinton's donor list for his foundation and presidential library have been released. Yeah, there's all kinds of foreign government money on there, what did you expect? [Politico]

• Batty conservative Michael Savage thinks Caroline Kennedy ought to watch her back since Hillary Clinton killed her brother John. We think she should watch out for batshit crazy conservatives. [Media Matters]

• Clinton told her supporters to stop talking smack about Caroline Kennedy unless they're going to endorse someone else. She doesn't want people to believe it's coming from her. [Politico]

• Enough states' electors have cast ballots for Obama by now that, today, he was officially elected President of the United States. [MSNBC]

• For those of you expecting a week-long party to start off the Obama Administration, prepare to be disappointed. There will be one public event welcoming you to D.C. on Sunday afternoon. Monday will be a day of community service, and the Inauguration will occur on Tuesday out in the cold, followed by formal balls…

• Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich is free tonight on $4,500 bail and has absolutely no intention of resigning after being indicted on massive corruption and extortion charges. [CNN, Politico, Chicago Tribune]
• Barack Obama said he'd had no contact with Blagojevich over the Senatorial appointment Blagojevich apparently…

• Kansas Governor Kathleen Sebelius has removed her name from Cabinet consideration. [The Hill]
• New York Governor David Paterson wants to be your next President because "Once you go black, you don't go back." [Politico]
• Fred Thompson is so cheap that he's renting his apartment out for the inauguration. [Huffington Post]
…

• Hottie Obama speechwriter Jon "No Relation" Favreau is embarrassed tonight, after this picture of him cupping a cardboard Hillary Clinton's boob was posted on Facebook. Clinton spokesman Phillippe Reines stole our hearts, though, when he responded, "Senator Clinton is pleased to learn of Jon's obvious interest in the…

• The Bushes spent about $3.7 million dollars on real estate in a pricey Dallas neighborhood, and boy, are you going to seethe with jealousy when you see the house the Presidency can buy you. [Washington Post, The Smoking Gun]
• Italy is struggling with a rise in puppy smuggling due to a love of specific breeds and a…

• Oprah Winfrey is talking her show on the road to D.C. during the Inauguration. Let the speculation begin about which members of the new Administration will be appearing. [Access Hollywood]
• Congress is going to pass a law to reduce the salary of the Secretary of State to block Republican efforts to keep Hillary Clinton…

• The race for who will ultimately lose to New York Governor David Paterson's desire to appoint state Attorney General Andrew "Shucking And Jiving Is Not A Racist Phrase" Cuomo to Hillary Clinton's Senate seat is on! Bill Clinton, Nita Lowey and Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. are out, Caroline Kennedy might be in. [CNN, The…

• Now that it's been a full year of shitty economic news, we are officially in a recession and have been for a year. Aren't you glad to know? [MSNBC]
• The market is not glad to know, and it slid almost 700 points after learning the obvious. [NY Times]
• In other obvious news, Condoleezza Rice doesn't plan to give much…

• The fighting that began Wednesday in Mumbai is continuing today. Nearly 200 people have been confirmed dead so far, with almost 300 others injured. Militants are still fighting and holding (and killing) hostages in the Taj Mahal hotel and in a Jewish community center. [NY Times, Huffington Post, NY Times]
• Barack Obama…

• Armed gunman in India today attacked 7 different sites in Mumbai in a reported attempt to kill as many Americans and Brits as possible, not that they spared any Indians while they were killing. At least 78 people lost their lives. [Huffington Post]
• In addition, the FBI has information that al Qaeda may have discussed…