Government Will Stay Closed For As Long As It Takes to Eradicate Sluts

Now that the government shutdown is in what feels like it elevendieth week, everything seems too stupid to be real, and here's a perfect example of why: the GOP's continued insistence that the United States government remain in stinky, stale deadlock until liberals agree to allow business owners to bar the sluts who… » 10/15/13 7:20pm 10/15/13 7:20pm

Newsweek Cover About Female Suicide Bombers Features Tampon Dynamite

Newsweek Pakistan's latest cover story is on the rise in female suicide bombers. And, so, naturally, this week's cover features the words LADY PARTS emblazoned over the image of tampons with lit fuses where the removal string would normally be. That's some TIME-level trolling, Newsweek. Kudos, I guess. » 9/25/13 4:40pm 9/25/13 4:40pm

Disturbing Allegations Emerge In Vanderbilt Rape Case

Further details have come out concerning the June 23 rape of a 21-year-old woman that led to the dismissal of four Vanderbilt football players, including junior college transfer, Brandon Vandenburg. According to a report from BuzzFeed, the incident was worse than previously reported and at least one source believes… » 9/07/13 4:25pm 9/07/13 4:25pm

Progress! NY Times Wedding Announcement Openly Discusses Abortion

Signs of real social progress are often very subtle. They ought to be, by nature, since real progress is really a process of normalization. When same-sex marriage doesn’t merit the “same-sex” modifier, for instance, in most mainstream news publications, it’s a signal that most members of our society think beyond the… » 9/02/13 2:00pm 9/02/13 2:00pm

Conservatives Silenced by Irony: Fox May Produce Hillary TV Movie

The GOP faithful, ever ready to storm the moral high ground and erect a glittering, priapistic citadel, jumped all over NBC’s yet-to-be-scripted Hillary Clinton teleplay like a gaggle of magpies who’ve caught a glimpse of a shiny Cracker Jack ring. “Aha, liberal scum!” cried RNC Reince Priebus, wearing his ceremonial… » 8/11/13 3:00pm 8/11/13 3:00pm

Worst Person In America Teams Up With Worst Charity In America [UPDATE]

Every day, optimistic PR people fill our tips box with mumbo-jumbo about new sports websites, book review offers, and other pitches that usually get auto-tagged as spam and are subsequently binned. Today, though, we received the following—and it's so perfect we can't help but share it with you: » 7/16/13 10:00pm 7/16/13 10:00pm

The "My Little Pony Convention 2013 Highlights" Video Is Amazing

What can we say about this video, other than it comes to us via several of our dearest commenters? It is so utterly bizarre, sad, funny, and horrifying that you will either immediately look away or watch it 25 times in a row. » 7/11/13 4:50pm 7/11/13 4:50pm

BBC Apologizes For Shitty Thing It Said About Bartoli And Her Dad

Today, gentlemen, we were reminded why we lug our reputations as troglodytes well into the 21st century. A woman named Marion Bartoli proved athletic enough to win a singles title at Wimbledon and was thereupon described to BBC Radio 5 listeners as something other than "a looker." Because, you see, it is not enough to… » 7/07/13 12:30pm 7/07/13 12:30pm

The Mostly Sexless Sex Scandal That Shook ESPN

A few hours after the 2009 Home Run Derby, Steve Phillips bought Brooke Hundley a drink. They were at the bar of St. Louis's Millenium Hotel, a block from Busch Stadium, where more than a dozen ESPN staffers had gathered after wrapping up another day's work during MLB's extended All-Star weekend. Hundley was a… » 6/06/13 1:32pm 6/06/13 1:32pm