'Cannibal Cop' Gilberto Valle's Profile Seems Fake as Hell

The New York Post is reporting that Gilberto Valle—better known as the "Cannibal Cop," the former NYPD officer who was convicted of conspiring to cook and kill several women before having his conviction overturned—is back on online dating sites, looking for a dinner date. That's alarming, and at least kind of funny,… »1/21/15 11:30am1/21/15 11:30am

Sound the Alarm! Fashion Magazines Are 'Losing Their Identities'

A New York Post Staff Report published this week alleges that an extreme injustice is occurring in this country. It's not "education, national defense or the lack of gold medals in skiing during the Winter Olympics." It's not even the cost of a liter of orange juice or the fact that every curb on the east coast is an… »2/18/14 7:40pm2/18/14 7:40pm

Here's Colbert's Hilarious Takedown of the Marines' New Girly Hats

Yesterday, Fox News and The New York Post both reported on a rumor that President Obama had issued an order to change the hats worn by the male members of the Marines to ones that was more "unisex" in appearance. Those serving in the Marines were apparently furious, with one anonymous serviceman (who may or may not… »10/25/13 12:40pm10/25/13 12:40pm

Brooklyn Parents Finally Prove They Are the Absolute Worst

A debate has erupted on Park Slope Parents, the notorious parental hellhole, that is so ridiculous it actually makes you want to cry. Mostly you want to cry because they're trying to take ice cream away from children. But you also want to cry because if this is how much parents are babying their children, we are… »4/02/12 10:00am4/02/12 10:00am

Classy New York Post Prosecutes Kelly Rape Accuser

Every once in awhile, a newspaper front page comes along that makes you want to punch the nearest inanimate object until you break the small bones in your hand. Well, get out the gauze and your insurance card, ladies: today's New York Post cover features the face of an alleged rape victim, an attack on her character,… »2/09/12 12:35pm2/09/12 12:35pm

If You Haven't Been Making Out In Church, You've Been Missing Out

One minister has come up with a novel way to both keep church from being boring and keep the spice alive in the marriages of his parishioners: have them make out in front of the rest of the congregation. Yes, these Sunday morning sexytimes are part of Pastor Maurice Johnson's sermon at Winners Church in Queens, or,… »11/20/11 4:35pm11/20/11 4:35pm

'Sex And The City' Slot Machine Offers Chance to Win 'Big'

For those of you who can't bear to spend even one second not thinking about the show Sex and the City, which has been off the air for ages and yet continues to plague our national attention, allow me to present to you The Sex and the City Slot Machine. Now, instead of losing money while staring mindlessly at a… »10/30/11 2:15pm10/30/11 2:15pm