Gross. I'm sure lots of people who abuse others have moments when they feel bad about what they do. Doesn't mean they've "healed" or whatever New-Age crystals-and-incense bullshit you want to call it. It just means they aren't 100% monstrous - just 99.9%.
If I was involved in a film that was so real that it made an abuser realize that his actions were brutal, inhumane, or just plain wrong, I would be happy about it.
This is awkwardly worded, but I think that's the sentiment Lee Daniels is going for. I hope he got more information from the man and reported it.
@curiousgeorgiana: I just worry that, like you said, the movie is so real that the abuser could rationalize his continued abuse because Precious overcame hers, so maybe his daughter could, too? I don't know, the mind of someone who could do that to their own child must be capable of some seriously fucked up mental gymnastics. ugh.
@Spike49: Word. I think abusers are probably really skilled at rationalizing anything...since I imagine that's the only way someone could molest his own daughter in the first place.
OK, I see this has been clipped in a weird way but, umm, it's still a weird thing to say that you're glad abusers are coming up to you and feeling bad about themselves.
Okay, the way the quote is clipped is causing a lot of commenters to start jumping all over him. I think what Lee Daniels is trying to say is that the real award for him is that his film actually got through to an abuse. The abuser was crying, signifying that he feels remorse and understands the magnitude of what he has been doing, because he saw this film. That's a pretty powerful thing, to actually affect the way the abuser looks at themselves, rather than just simply sympathize with the victim. So yeah, everyone needs to cut Mr. Daniels some slack, he didn't say anything out of line.
@Bunsen Honeydew: Yeah, but after crying did the abuser go home and after a few days start abusing his daughter again (while maybe feeling a little guilty about it this time), or did he get help?
@formergr: precisely. Look, there are probably many abusers out there who realize that what they are doing is wrong, and who feel ashamed and guilty. Of course there are, especially since, as we know, abuse perpetuates abuse. Thinking abusers are 100% evil is often comforting ("I could never know anyone like that") but is ultimately a fallacy. They're people, with good and bad, like everyone else.
The girl that's being abused probably couldn't give two shits about whether her dad feels bad about it or not, the point is, he's abusing her. So if Lee Daniels didn't try to stop it, I'm going to be angry.
@likepenguins: Just because dude feels bad doesn't mean he's not going to keep doing it. Yeah. Sucks for them, but I'm betting it's way worse for the actual victim.
Not directed at you, BTW---I've just had my damned fill of people saying-----FOR REAL---that a guy who called 2,300 'whores' 'just needs a hug'!!!!
The "award" for Lee Daniels is this guy's "healing"? A confession that doesn't lead to prosecution is not any kind of award, and call me meanspirited, but it's not the incestuous abuser's healing which is most important in my mind.
I've tried to hold off on judging Lee Daniels, but he seems like a real idiot to me.
@newyorkette: Yeah, and make sure his daughter got to see a good therapist, and tell her that what he did was never her fault and there's nothing wrong with her and she can have a great life, and devote himself to being a better man for the rest of his life.
That would be pretty smashing.
I read this book tonight within a few hours, totally consumed it, and was kind of shocked to hop onto Jez and see this rebuttal from Edelstein.
I have a lot to say, so I hope I can focus here.
To start, I appreciate those who can answer to criticism and make an effort to articulate their thoughts. Edelstein is out of the gate, however, in total defense mode.
They believe my language reflects deep and both conscious and unconscious prejudices toward African-Americans, obesity, and the so-called "underclass."
Something I think is often glossed over, even on this site, is that we all have ingrained prejudices, on varying levels, and this is not always a negative thing. What's negative is when you fall back on these prejudices and look to them as a benchmark. Talk about it, put it out there, admit that you're not fucking perfect.
Of note, Sidibe herself makes a very interesting comment on the Ellen show along these lines. When Ellen asks if she knows anyone who experienced the life of Precious, where she pulled this character from, she responds with:
"When I read this book I realized that knew this girl...she's a real person, and I knew her in my family, and I knew her in my friends and I knew her in people I didn't want to know."
Also, there is no "so-called" underclass. There's an underclass.
I am also struck by the characterization of Precious as a "victim." Having just read the book, I've come away feeling that she very much is NOT a victim. At least not in the way Edelstein has framed it.
In fact, I found her to be a strong, hopeful and determined character, despite the horrific violence she survived.
And, I would like to thank the commenter (I've forgotten who) who assured me that the book was a "love letter" to literacy and the arts. If I took anything away from this story, it's how empowering education can be. You earn it, and no one can take it away. Not to be totally cheesy, but that really is a beautiful thing.
To say that the actress's or character's weight is "front and center" entirely misses the point. It's simply a character trait, like any other. What makes it noteworthy is that we as a society, and especially, it seems, Edelstein, are uncomfortable with it.
@Penny: I saw it as a love letter to the power of literacy. It fucking moved me in a way I that to this day makes me thankful for the power of being able to read and write.
I think you're absolutely right about playing it as it lays and just owning up to prejudices and thinking about how it can make everyone look at a portrait of a character in a completely different manner. Because I think that what was lost in the NY Mag. review and truthfully, that's what made me so upset. There is this hope, inherent in all of the tragedy, that still lives. And it lives because her mind was freed by the power of literacy.
Stopping now. Not going to cry in my office. But yes, the book (and movie) is a love letter to the power of literacy and a call to action. At least, it was to me. #caterwaulingagainsttheworld
Sorry, but FAIL. Edelstein's rebuttal reveals more about his worldview than he intended. Namely, how limited it is. He might as well said "real America doesn't look or act like this."
Rather than complaining that the star is somehow transgressive (another word for weird, strange yet in an offensive way), and how inexplicably violent some characters are, he would do better to absorb and reflect on what he saw. Learn that their are worlds outside of his own. It is one thing to disagree with a film if you think it somehow glorifies violence, but it is another to discount it entirely as unbelievable when there are very many voices saying the opposite. Shush, Edelstein, listen and learn. And continue to read Jezebel.
Sir, you thinking this film and this actress are transgressive is a reflection of your own life. Your own norms. Because Sidibe doesn't represent the normal HOLLYWOOD ACTRESS in no way makes her transgressive. In fact, I posit the true transgressives in America are Angelina Jolie and her ilk.
I think you are shocked and upset because you did not intend to offend. Yet the very limitations that led to this push back are preventing you from listening and absorbing what you hear. Stop digging the hole deeper with disingenuous explanations (lighting, etc.) and laughable examples (Angela Basset wide or large, are you kidding me?!). #caterwaulingagainsttheworld
I agree with Edelstein: Precious' appearance is meant to be transgressive, and that's not a bad thing. In a country where many people consider obesity not just to be ugly but *immoral*, to cast a big, dark-skinned girl in the lead is taking the risk that a superficial audience will never sympathize--much less identify--with her.
Personally I think superficiality is underrated, not because it's good, but because it's powerful and omnipresent. The director would be a fool not to take into account the fact that many people will find Precious ugly, hard to relate to, and even "subhuman." I think what Edelstein meant to say is that the director consciously chose to embrace that aspect of her character, (for reasons that elude the critic), and that his reading of Sidibe as "jarring" was less a personal affront than a sense of what he thought the director meant to evoke.
I'm always leery of people who respond to blog comments, because they're so easy to characterize any which way. And I agree that Edelstein's calling Precious a "zeppelin" was in bad taste. That said, I read his review as a dissection of the director's artistic choices, rather than a sociological statement about what "the real world" is like. #caterwaulingagainsttheworld
@LittleDogLaughed: I think you're right about him using an actress who is not physically in line with the kind of looks we would normally see in a popular movie is outside of the norm, but the question of it being jarring is almost secondary to the question of why? She looks in the mirror and see a thin white woman. Why? She says she is worthless. Why? And what gives her the power to see her own humanity in all of the violence and self hatred. Literacy. And that, sadly, is lost in the emphasis on the external events. The review and this response lost this kind of astute analysis because it's easier to write about the surface. But it's the battle between the external and internal, and truthfully, what the comments seemed upset by was how this internal battle was lost. #caterwaulingagainsttheworld
@LittleDogLaughed: I think that to talk about the casting choice as a plus-sized woman is COMPLETELY missing the point. In the book, there are quite a few references to her weight, and even an ignorance of her *actual* weight because their scale stops at 200. Also, I don't know how the movie portrays these things, but there are issues centered around violence regarding her weight, as well. For instance, she remarks in one episode from the book that she is forced by her mother to eat, and not just to eat but to eat much more than she even wants to eat. Her weight isn't something that is about her, it's something that, in many ways, is done TO her just like many of the other violences committed against her. It's a beautiful work, I highly recommend reading it - like someone above said, it can easily be read in a few hours in the afternoon - and it will have you counting your blessings at your ability to read it at all. It is, genuinely, a testament to the power of education and of relationships with people who care. Anyway, just my two cents.
12/02/09
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12/02/09
The award would be if he told you he was going to stop.
12/02/09
12/02/09
This is awkwardly worded, but I think that's the sentiment Lee Daniels is going for. I hope he got more information from the man and reported it.
12/02/09
ohhhhh, yeah, right, got it.
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12/02/09
Unfortunately I'm going to guess the former...
12/02/09
The girl that's being abused probably couldn't give two shits about whether her dad feels bad about it or not, the point is, he's abusing her. So if Lee Daniels didn't try to stop it, I'm going to be angry.
12/03/09
Not directed at you, BTW---I've just had my damned fill of people saying-----FOR REAL---that a guy who called 2,300 'whores' 'just needs a hug'!!!!
12/03/09
12/02/09
12/02/09
I've tried to hold off on judging Lee Daniels, but he seems like a real idiot to me.
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12/02/09
'Well, I'm glad you feel bad about it. Now CUT IT OUT.'
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12/02/09
That would be pretty smashing.
11/04/09
I have a lot to say, so I hope I can focus here.
To start, I appreciate those who can answer to criticism and make an effort to articulate their thoughts. Edelstein is out of the gate, however, in total defense mode.
They believe my language reflects deep and both conscious and unconscious prejudices toward African-Americans, obesity, and the so-called "underclass."
Something I think is often glossed over, even on this site, is that we all have ingrained prejudices, on varying levels, and this is not always a negative thing. What's negative is when you fall back on these prejudices and look to them as a benchmark. Talk about it, put it out there, admit that you're not fucking perfect.
Of note, Sidibe herself makes a very interesting comment on the Ellen show along these lines. When Ellen asks if she knows anyone who experienced the life of Precious, where she pulled this character from, she responds with:
"When I read this book I realized that knew this girl...she's a real person, and I knew her in my family, and I knew her in my friends and I knew her in people I didn't want to know."
There's color, there's class, there's sexuality, there's gender, and there's humanity.
Also, there is no "so-called" underclass. There's an underclass.
I am also struck by the characterization of Precious as a "victim." Having just read the book, I've come away feeling that she very much is NOT a victim. At least not in the way Edelstein has framed it.
In fact, I found her to be a strong, hopeful and determined character, despite the horrific violence she survived.
And, I would like to thank the commenter (I've forgotten who) who assured me that the book was a "love letter" to literacy and the arts. If I took anything away from this story, it's how empowering education can be. You earn it, and no one can take it away. Not to be totally cheesy, but that really is a beautiful thing.
To say that the actress's or character's weight is "front and center" entirely misses the point. It's simply a character trait, like any other. What makes it noteworthy is that we as a society, and especially, it seems, Edelstein, are uncomfortable with it.
11/04/09
11/04/09
I think you're absolutely right about playing it as it lays and just owning up to prejudices and thinking about how it can make everyone look at a portrait of a character in a completely different manner. Because I think that what was lost in the NY Mag. review and truthfully, that's what made me so upset. There is this hope, inherent in all of the tragedy, that still lives. And it lives because her mind was freed by the power of literacy.
Stopping now. Not going to cry in my office. But yes, the book (and movie) is a love letter to the power of literacy and a call to action. At least, it was to me. #caterwaulingagainsttheworld
11/03/09
Rather than complaining that the star is somehow transgressive (another word for weird, strange yet in an offensive way), and how inexplicably violent some characters are, he would do better to absorb and reflect on what he saw. Learn that their are worlds outside of his own. It is one thing to disagree with a film if you think it somehow glorifies violence, but it is another to discount it entirely as unbelievable when there are very many voices saying the opposite. Shush, Edelstein, listen and learn. And continue to read Jezebel.
Sir, you thinking this film and this actress are transgressive is a reflection of your own life. Your own norms. Because Sidibe doesn't represent the normal HOLLYWOOD ACTRESS in no way makes her transgressive. In fact, I posit the true transgressives in America are Angelina Jolie and her ilk.
I think you are shocked and upset because you did not intend to offend. Yet the very limitations that led to this push back are preventing you from listening and absorbing what you hear. Stop digging the hole deeper with disingenuous explanations (lighting, etc.) and laughable examples (Angela Basset wide or large, are you kidding me?!). #caterwaulingagainsttheworld
11/03/09
Personally I think superficiality is underrated, not because it's good, but because it's powerful and omnipresent. The director would be a fool not to take into account the fact that many people will find Precious ugly, hard to relate to, and even "subhuman." I think what Edelstein meant to say is that the director consciously chose to embrace that aspect of her character, (for reasons that elude the critic), and that his reading of Sidibe as "jarring" was less a personal affront than a sense of what he thought the director meant to evoke.
I'm always leery of people who respond to blog comments, because they're so easy to characterize any which way. And I agree that Edelstein's calling Precious a "zeppelin" was in bad taste. That said, I read his review as a dissection of the director's artistic choices, rather than a sociological statement about what "the real world" is like. #caterwaulingagainsttheworld
11/04/09
11/04/09