This Bar Will Do Your Laundry While You Get Drunk and Eat Cheese

You know what one of the worst things about doing laundry is? That you can't get stupid drunk while waiting for your delicates to dry. I mean, theoretically you can, but you run a very high risk of drunkenly joining some underground laundry secret society. Those are a total pain in the ass to get out of, trust me. » 4/15/14 9:30pm 4/15/14 9:30pm

Bus Driver Punched Repeatedly; Passengers Just Stood There and Filmed

Keisha McGregor drives a bus on Long Island for NICE, Nassau Intercounty Express. Monday, she was attacked by a passenger who missed her stop because she did not realize the bus was going express. The passenger threw a water bottle at McGregor and then began to punch her. There were 30 other passengers on the bus and… » 2/27/14 5:30pm 2/27/14 5:30pm

New York Proposes Eliminating All the Shitty State Swans

The State of New York might launch a huge offensive against a nasty invasive species that tears up underwater vegetation, threatens passenger jets, and (occasionally) attacks people with the raw, avian vindictiveness of an avenging archangel. Unfortunately for the State of New York and its beleaguered PR interns, that… » 2/02/14 12:30pm 2/02/14 12:30pm

Jon Stewart and New York City Hilariously Beg Sean Hannity Not to Move

Oh, no! Conservative talk show host Sean Hannity doesn't feel welcome in his home state after New York Governor Andrew Cuomo stated that those who are "right-to-life, pro-assault-weapon, anti-gay" no longer are welcome here and now Hannity is threatening to move to Florida or Texas! What will the people of New York… » 1/28/14 6:40pm 1/28/14 6:40pm

Brooklynites Are Mad That Girls Paints Brooklyn as Lazy Person Paradise

Americans in big cities (but particularly Americans in those big, grey northeastern cities where we'll imprison the burgeoning mutant population after the nuclear fallout) love to brag about how hard they work. They wear their work ethic like a badge of courage, as if working an hour longer than one's peers had some… » 1/12/14 4:30pm 1/12/14 4:30pm