This Bar Will Do Your Laundry While You Get Drunk and Eat Cheese

You know what one of the worst things about doing laundry is? That you can't get stupid drunk while waiting for your delicates to dry. I mean, theoretically you can, but you run a very high risk of drunkenly joining some underground laundry secret society. Those are a total pain in the ass to get out of, trust me. » 4/15/14 9:30pm Tuesday 9:30pm

Bus Driver Punched Repeatedly; Passengers Just Stood There and Filmed

Keisha McGregor drives a bus on Long Island for NICE, Nassau Intercounty Express. Monday, she was attacked by a passenger who missed her stop because she did not realize the bus was going express. The passenger threw a water bottle at McGregor and then began to punch her. There were 30 other passengers on the bus and » 2/27/14 5:30pm 2/27/14 5:30pm

New York Proposes Eliminating All the Shitty State Swans

The State of New York might launch a huge offensive against a nasty invasive species that tears up underwater vegetation, threatens passenger jets, and (occasionally) attacks people with the raw, avian vindictiveness of an avenging archangel. Unfortunately for the State of New York and its beleaguered PR interns, that… » 2/02/14 12:30pm 2/02/14 12:30pm

Jon Stewart and New York City Hilariously Beg Sean Hannity Not to Move

Oh, no! Conservative talk show host Sean Hannity doesn't feel welcome in his home state after New York Governor Andrew Cuomo stated that those who are "right-to-life, pro-assault-weapon, anti-gay" no longer are welcome here and now Hannity is threatening to move to Florida or Texas! What will the people of New York do?… » 1/28/14 6:40pm 1/28/14 6:40pm

Brooklynites Are Mad That Girls Paints Brooklyn as Lazy Person Paradise

Americans in big cities (but particularly Americans in those big, grey northeastern cities where we'll imprison the burgeoning mutant population after the nuclear fallout) love to brag about how hard they work. They wear their work ethic like a badge of courage, as if working an hour longer than one's peers had some… » 1/12/14 4:30pm 1/12/14 4:30pm

Yet Another Shopper Accuses Macy’s of Racial Profiling

Another perfectly legitimate, non-purloining shopper has claimed that Macy's, in its ceaseless effort to make shopping in New York as stressful and bigoted as possible, racially profiled him after he purchased a really expensive Louis Vuitton bag. » 12/22/13 12:00pm 12/22/13 12:00pm

California Wants to Unload Its Abandoned Chihuahuas on New York

Abandoned chihuahuas are apparently a problem in California, the land of second-guessing dog owners. So many people abandon Chihuahuas that California shelters are shipping the small, emotionally manipulative dogs to New York, claiming that Chihuahuas are an in-demand breed in New York because prospective pet owners… » 11/24/13 1:30pm 11/24/13 1:30pm

Jon Stewart and Chicago Agree: California Pizza Is the Worst of All

A truce has finally been called in the great New York-Chicago Pizza War of 2013. While the two sides will never fully agree on thin crust vs. deep dish, they can agree on this: The enemy of my enemy is my friend and, here, our shared enemy is the California pizza. Seriously, fuck that thing. It's a focaccia with a… » 11/21/13 12:00pm 11/21/13 12:00pm

The Awful Details of the Worst Sexual Harassment Lawsuit Ever

In 2011, Lisa Sprada became the female equipment manager for the sewer maintenance department of Cheektowaga, New York, a town just outside of Buffalo. Over the next few years, Sprada would be promoted — but she'd also get to spend her time being fielded with offers to have sex for money, watching her colleague… » 11/13/13 5:40pm 11/13/13 5:40pm

NY Prostitution Case Dismissed Because Pea Coats

An ill-advised prostitution arrest in New York City (golly gee wilikers!) led to a hilarious courtroom disquisition about what sort of women's clothing is actually part of a sex worker's wardrobe. Much to the surprise of certain finger-wagging old-timers, tight, contour-enhancing jeans and a pea coat are most certainly … » 11/10/13 11:30am 11/10/13 11:30am

Mystery: Why Is This NYC Subway Experiment Video Making Me Cry?

» 10/30/13 8:30pm 10/30/13 8:30pm

If you live in New York (or if you've visited enough that you totally know your way around), you've likely noticed that at every subway stop, conductors point at a black and white striped strip. This is something they're required to do in order to ensure that the train stopped in the right place, and I'm sure it gets … » 10/30/13 8:30pm 10/30/13 8:30pm

For Fifty Grand, Scarlett O’Hara’s Breakfast Gown Can Be All Yours

If you have a huge pile of money just sitting on your kitchen table collecting cockroaches, you might want to consider putting in a bid for the blue accordion-pleated silk sleeping gown Scarlett O’Hara was wearing when Bonnie Blue Butler falls off the pony (and, spoiler alert, dies) in Gone with the Wind. How else will … » 10/27/13 8:30pm 10/27/13 8:30pm

Not to Be Out-Bigoted, Macy’s Joins Barneys in Profiling Scandal…

Allegations from two shoppers claiming Barneys employees saw that they were black and made the snap judgment that they therefore couldn’t really afford their expensive purchases have led to a whole shitstorm of bad PR for the fancy New York retailer, drawing calls from the Rev. Al Sharpton to boycott the store and more … » 10/27/13 2:00pm 10/27/13 2:00pm