This Might Be the Most Romantic and Pee-Soaked Missed Connection Ever

Once a generation comes a love story so beautiful, so profound, that it somehow simultaneously fills you with hope (because romance isn't dead) and despair (because you'll likely never achieve a love so great). One such romance occurred this New Year's Eve and — in a truly modern take on the classic tale of Cinderella… » 1/02/14 4:30pm 1/02/14 4:30pm

Alyssa Milano Douche-Shames Jay Mohr for Fat-Shaming Her

Residually famous person Jay Mohr was apparently a dick to Alyssa Milano about the weight she put on after she grew a fucking human inside of her body for nine whole months. Mohr and Milano were both at the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series Awards, and, after Mohr was through giving Danica Patrick shit, he had enough douche… » 1/01/14 11:30am 1/01/14 11:30am

Local LA TV Station Had a Way Worse New Year's Eve Than You Did

Looking to comfort yourself after yet another underwhelming-to-terrible New Year's Eve? (Unless, of course, you had a great one in which case, congratulations, you beautiful rare bird you.) Try to have some perspective. Surely, there's a person out there who had a worse New Year's than you. Probably even a whole… » 1/04/13 2:45pm 1/04/13 2:45pm

Let’s All Pee in the Face of the Dreaded New Year’s Day Hangover by…

New Year's Eve is one of a handful of holidays that expects, nay, demands its celebrants get blackout drunk. Of course we're all going to drink on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and Independence Day, but we'll be drinking serenely as we slip away glass by glass of drugstore Merlot into a restorative stupor in front of a… » 12/31/12 8:30pm 12/31/12 8:30pm

This Season We Give You the Gift of Rage: Letters to Your Asshole Ex

Nothing makes you feel worse about being single than good ole-fashioned holiday cheer. And you've entered that period punctuated by a series of holidays whose sole purpose, it can seem, is to remind you of your romantic deficiency: the Christmas-New Year's Eve-Valentine's Day triumvirate. Times like these, you may get… » 12/27/12 3:30pm 12/27/12 3:30pm

Wait, Ashton Kutcher Is Seriously Going to Play Steve Jobs?

When this news first broke, people assumed it had to be an April Fool's joke, because that is how much of a stretch it is. But, alas, it appears to be legit. Variety is reporting that Ashton Kutcher has signed on to play Steve Jobs in a new movie called Jobs. You can see how Kutcher could look like Jobs, with the… » 4/01/12 8:45pm 4/01/12 8:45pm

How Badly Is Your Head Throbbing Right Now?

WELCOME TO 2012! Oops, sorry, we'll keep things quiet since your brain is probably in a delicate condition right now. Let's talk in a whisper. But seriously, how was your New Year's Eve? Where would you rank it on a scale of one (You died alone of consumption at 11:59 p.m. Your cat started gnawing on your cold, dead… » 1/01/12 12:55pm 1/01/12 12:55pm

Not All The Stars In Hollywood Can Keep New Year's Eve From Being…

Honestly, Love, Actually was not a bad movie. Unfortunately, its success taught Hollywood a terrible lesson: Cram a crapload of stars into one flick, and the masses will pay to see it. Off course, by "masses," we mean women, because we're the ones these projects are aggressively marketed towards. After He's Just Not… » 12/09/11 2:15pm 12/09/11 2:15pm

How Many Celebrity Fashion Faux Pas Does It Take To Ruin A Red Carpet?

Well, it's that time of the year again—namely, when the Hollywood Holiday-Themed Romantic Comedy Ensemble Movie Industrial Complex tries to convince us that we should go see Zac Efron and Michelle Pfeiffer star in New Year's Eve. Um, no thanks? Anyway, the premiere happened last night in LA. The fashion was mostly… » 12/06/11 2:10pm 12/06/11 2:10pm