Tireless Woman to Sue Every Goddamn Homo In This Great Nation

66-year-old Sylvia Driskell of Auburn, Nebraska, is no longer content to stand idly by as homosexuals, emissaries of the devil, continue to wipe their lube-stained butts across America’s flag. That’s why she’s declared herself an ambassador of god and Jesus Christ (his son) and is asking the courts “is homosexuality a… »5/06/15 12:30pm5/06/15 12:30pm

High School: 'Tasteful and Stylish' Guns OK In Senior Portraits

The citizens of Broken Bow, Nebraska have spoken and their voices will be heard: Any teen graduating from the town's high school will be allowed to pose with a gun on their shoulder, their lap, or swinging nonchalantly from one arm like a fashion accessory. The only catch? The photo has to be appropriate. »10/23/14 5:30pm10/23/14 5:30pm

Nebraska Won't Let Kid Read Macklemore Lyrics on TV, Shitstorm Ensues

Every year, the winners of Nebraska's state high school speech and drama competition are invited to perform their winning material on public TV. But this year, they're running things a little differently. One of the winners in the poetry category, you see, made the mistake of choosing "controversial" material that… »4/02/14 6:10pm4/02/14 6:10pm

Court Rules Teen Not Mature Enough to Abort, Mature Enough to Be Mom

Last Friday, the Nebraska Supreme Court denied a 16-year-old foster child's request to get an abortion without parental consent. The teen, identified only as Anonymous 5, was deemed not mature enough to make the decision herself. So then she's mature enough to raise a child? Okay, sure. Whatever you say, Nebraska. »10/07/13 9:00pm10/07/13 9:00pm

Douchey Nebraska Political Consultant Fired for Calling Legislator a ‘Cunt’ on Facebook

In his zeal to help prove his undying bro loyalty to Nebraska State Sen. Charlie Janssen, a "political consultant" named Jeremy Jensen deployed on of the last truly offensive bad words in the English language, calling Democratic legislator Danielle Conrad a "cunt" on his Facebook page. Jensen was promptly fired. »3/22/13 12:35pm3/22/13 12:35pm

Nebraska College Kid Says Feminism 'Achieved Its Goals' So Women Should Shut the Fuck Up Now

Is there anyone more naturally attuned to the nuances of America's struggle for social justice than white male heterosexual college students from Nebraska named Zach? Oh, what's that? LITERALLY EVERYONE? 'Kay. Well, nevertheless, the University of Nebraska-Lincoln published an op-ed today by one-man feminist brain… »2/22/13 5:15pm2/22/13 5:15pm

Nebraska’s Lieutenant Governor Resigns Before Newspaper Publishes All the Lurid Details of His Phone Scandal

Nebraskans are being treated to the lurid details of a political sex scandal today, thanks to the Omaha World-Herald's extensive investigation into the nearly 2,000 late-night calls the State's Lieutenant Governor Rick Sheehy (R) made to four women who were most definitely not his estranged wife. On Saturday, Sheehy,… »2/03/13 2:00pm2/03/13 2:00pm

You Better Get Your Facebook Estate in Order in Case You Die

Early in your life, you might have worried about who was going to get your toys or your CDs when you died (or tapes or—gasp!—records, if you are truly ancient). Then, as you grew up and earned a bit of money, you might have actually made a will to tell people what to do with all your shit when you shuffled off this… »3/16/12 11:20am3/16/12 11:20am