These Vintage National Enquirer Covers Are Hilarious

It's been a big week for The National Enquirer (the magazine that I once got sent home for reading at school). The publication broke the news that Ellen's house is possibly haunted and alerted faithful readers to a big secret that Jimmy Fallon doesn't want you to know (he loves his wife and child!). And if that wasn't… » 3/03/14 4:15pm 3/03/14 4:15pm

National Enquirer Apologizes in a Big Way

Shortly after Philip Seymour Hoffman died, the National Enquirer ran an interview with someone calling himself David Bar Katz, claiming that the two were lovers who'd freebased cocaine together and that he'd seen Hoffman use heroin. Turns out the story was bullshit, and now the tab is apologizing with a new grant for… » 2/26/14 10:50am 2/26/14 10:50am

The Dark Side of Summer Tabloid Beach Reading: It Could Happen To You

There's a hidden danger lurking on beaches nationwide this holiday weekend: if you set aside your London Review of Books to peruse The National Inquirer, the "Best and Worst Celebrity Diets" and "Paula Deen Used Gay Slurs Too!" could be imprinted on your thighs, FOREVER. Or at least until you jump in the ocean. » 7/03/13 3:20pm 7/03/13 3:20pm

Here's the Man Who Body-Shames Women for the National Enquirer

It turns out that the really super mean horrible copy criticizing women's appearances in the National Enquirer—namely, the tabloid's semi-annual cover stories dedicated to the "WORST Beach Bodies" and "Plastic Surgery Nightmares"—are mostly written by one guy. Naturally, I was dying to know what the authority on… » 6/10/13 1:30pm 6/10/13 1:30pm

O.J. Simpson Might Be Selling His 'Murder Knife' for $5 Million

Today in OKEY DOKEY, acquitted murder suspect and totally innocent kewl dood! all-around sociopathic piece of shit O.J. Simpson is reportedly attempting to sell the knife used in his wife's murder for $5 million. The knife—if it is the knife—was used in the brutal slayings of Ron Goldman and Nicole Brown Simpson in… » 10/18/12 6:20pm 10/18/12 6:20pm

This Coffin Photo of Whitney Houston's Dead Body Is Now on Newsstands…

Last week, the National Enquirer had us reeling from a morbid photo shoot in which a model was paid to pose as Whitney Houston's dead body. This week, they take it to a whole new level: The tabloid printed open-coffin images from Whitney Houston's viewing. That's her corpse on the cover. While it is customary, in… » 2/22/12 1:55pm 2/22/12 1:55pm

Diabolical Tabloid Recreates Whitney's Death With Sick Photoshoot

Though neither Jennifer Aniston's nor Kate Middleton's twins have ever materialized, Brad and Angelina are still together and Michael Douglas Deathwatch™ was a failure, tabloid coverage had not sunk as low as it possibly could. Until today. A new low: The National Enquirer printed a story called "Whitney's Final… » 2/15/12 1:20pm 2/15/12 1:20pm

9/11, Self-Esteem & Celebrity Tabloids: It's A Depressing Day All Around

Hey, did you know it's September 11th? Yeah, it is. And Moe and I are even both in New York! But it's the kind of day where we stayed out kind of late and therefore need coffee and less depressing news, so we focus on Joe Biden's self-esteem problems, Pakistan, what's not getting built at Ground Zero, and the… » 9/11/08 10:00am 9/11/08 10:00am

Why Is It That Elaine Donnelly Can't Stop Thinking About Gay Sex?

Elaine Donnelly is a crazy right-wing lady who hates the idea of gays in the military so much that she just can't stop thinking about all the perverted things they do to one another and how other completely heterosexual people like her might get caught up in homosexual behavior. And if that sounds like the start to,… » 7/24/08 10:30am 7/24/08 10:30am