Creepy NASA Researchers Want to Watch You Sleep for 70 Days

Would you let NASA watch you sleep on a slight, six-degree decline for free? What about for $18,000 and a little certificate saying you were once an assistant astronaut, but also with the catch that researchers could draw funny, ineffable doodles on your face with a laundry marker? If you’re in reasonably good shape… » 9/21/13 2:30pm 9/21/13 2:30pm

NASA Chooses Four New Lady Astronauts to Menstruate in Outer Space

JUST KIDDING I'M OBVIOUSLY JUST KIDDING. Although I'm sure there's some dumb dude in some backyard somewhere meat-chortling about zomg what happens when they all get their periods in null gravity and their synced-up cycles pull all of Jupiter's moons out of whack you can't drive a spaceship when there's melted Dove… » 6/17/13 7:00pm 6/17/13 7:00pm

Amazing 15-Year-Old Girl Will Probably Be The First Astronaut On Mars

What were you accomplishing with the power of social media when you were fifteen? If you were like me, you were color-coding your AIM profile with artistic precision and uploading Legolas fanart to DeviantArt.com. If you were like current high school sophomore Abigail Harrison, you were communicating with NASA… » 5/06/13 3:30pm 5/06/13 3:30pm

BREAKING MARS NEWS: CURIOSITY ROVER DRAWS A DICK

Earlier this morning the Curiosity Rover tweeted a photo of a penis it had drawn on the surface of Mars with the caption, "FUCKING BORED." A NASA official has explained that they believe this is a new attempt by the rover to provoke Martian life into revealing themselves by angering them. Curiosity is reportedly… » 4/24/13 12:05pm 4/24/13 12:05pm

Sally Ride, The First American Woman in Space, Succumbs to Cancer at 61

Early this morning, astronaut and physicist Sally Ride passed away after a 61-year-long life of exploration, boundary breaking, and ass kicking. When she blasted into space in 1983, she became the youngest American and the first American woman to leave the earth's atmosphere, thus igniting space camp dreams in a… » 7/23/12 6:00pm 7/23/12 6:00pm

Giant Fireball in the Sky Was Totally No Big Deal

On a daily basis, most of us allow ourselves to live with the delusion that the Earth is a generally safe and predictable place, but every once in a while something happens which makes it impossible to ignore that this planet is a deeply fucked up and scary deathtrap. The latest evidence? A gigantic fireball that… » 4/25/12 11:55pm 4/25/12 11:55pm

In The Future, Meat Will Be Grown In A Lab

While it sounds like the plot of something Kurt Vonnegut might write after reading Upton Sinclair and then dropping acid, biologists claim that it's not far fetched to assume that in the future, our meat won't come from animals that we kill; it will be grown in petri dishes in giant labs by mad scientists who drive… » 2/20/11 5:44pm 2/20/11 5:44pm