Prejean claims she was 17. If she is telling the truth (for a change) then she committed a felony. It is a violation of child porn laws to create or distribute pornographic material involving minors. There is no loophole for minors who film themselves.
Earlier this year several teenage girls in Akron, Ohio were arrested for doing exactly what Prejean did. The point wasn't to send them to Leavenworth, but to inform the public that this is a serious offense. As we've seen, these images get passed around, and they often wind up in the hands of predators.
Prosecuting Preajean would go a long way toward combatting ignorance about this issue. Besides, she seems to be a good candidate for a lengthy period of community service. #sextapes
All this sex tape business is just one more symptom of the downfall of Hollywood celebrity. I long for the days when stars were in tuxedos and evening gowns instead of sex tapes and rehab. Hollywood must be saved from Carrie Prejean, Britney Spears, and Lindsay Lohan, and Lindsay Lohan from her mom, and the rest of us from Jessica Simpson's dad. I want to get back to a time when celebrities' vaginas didn't beat them to the red carpet. I want to know why poor people living in huts are having their children stolen by Madonna and why Britney Spears is driving around with hers strapped to the hood of her car. Sure, classic Hollywood had it's faults: Judy Garland and Elvis died of tragic overdoses, undoubtedly associated with the studios predilection for medicating their stars into addiction for scheduling convenience, but at least the facade was upheld. The dirt was concealed, the public lied to and in turn stars' privacy was respected. I don't think I want to be privy to the down and dirty. I'm curious, but ultimately, I'd rather the image of Paris Hilton's coital ambivelence wasn't seared in my mind forever. #sextapes
@booter26: nice post, but I think you could have articulated this sentiment better by waving your fist at those darn kids, and yelling at them to get off your damn lawn. #sextapes
@Vivien Smith-Smythe-Smith: Ha! Yeah, I'm totally going to be one of those ornery old ladies who goes to all the city council meetings to wave my cane and complain about whatever they happen to be discussing. It won't matter if it's a topic I know or care about, but I'll definitely be very irate about whatever it might be. #sextapes
I'm still trying to sell the tabloids a 16mm film I found in my grandmother's attic that she made, graphically depicting Walter Cronkite's cream cheese fetish. #sextapes
My mother and godmother (both mid-sixties first wavers) are supportive, cajolling and capable on occasion of pointing out when I'm being a bit of an idiot. Neither has ever banged on about how hard their lives have been. Between them there's two dead husbands, a son with a severe disability, a toxic mother, serious financial problems, breast cancer and oh, successful careers in the media that started back in the days when male bosses could say things like "I don't know why you're bothering to go to university, you're just going to get married and have kids" (godmother), "You'll never be an editor here, women are never editors" (mum, first female features/news editor at the agency in question and first women to work the night shift there, no really) and "You can't wear pants in the stock exchange. Leave now" (mum again).
They both rock, and have never once suggested feminism sold them a pup, or that I should just keel over now. They ground me and keep me sane, but also give comfort and support when I need it.
What women like Gottleib seem to not get is that, yes, shit will go wrong in your life, because that is what happens. Her pronouncements about relationships going wrong and life not quite working out how you thought it would are, how do I say this, stating the bleeding freaking obvious. Only a blind rabbit that has been kept underground forever and fed a diet of happy endings wouldn't realise that life doesn't always work out the way you think it will. It's the tag line on a million romantic movie posters, for god's sake. #arrogance
There really has been something different going on for my generation (I'm 42 now) - a lot of you don't seem to see that, and that's okay; you have or will have your own situations to deal with. From the outsider's point of view, it will be easier to see the outline of this in years hence. Don't blame the few outspoken women who seem to be whiny or entitled or deluded - many calm, rational, modest, earnest women in my age group have similar stories, and also get shouted down, doubted, and blamed in similar ways, as the annoying few who have made it easy for women of other ages to denounce the entire idea. I don't blame anyone for my life choices, but the messages I was told about those choices were not very realistic, and by accepting and believing the view of the world and the future that I was taught by society, I lost out in a big way in certain areas of life. It's like the people who have recently lost 40% of their "safe" retirement funds, or who were promised a pension for years by their company and then had it ripped from them right when they were supposed to receive it, or who have health insurance deny coverage for something reasonable and necessary by trumping up a "pre-existing condition", like the few-months-old baby who weighs 17 pounds and was recently declared "too obese" by his insurance company to be covered for necessary medical care that his family had dutifully provided for him, never expecting such unfair treatment. You don't blame those people for believing what they believed; it was what everyone else was accepting, and there was no reason to doubt the entire financial system or employment system when they made their choices. But in retrospect, they should have planned much differently if they wanted to have the outcome they had every reason to think they were on the path towards. Before you condemn 40-something women who are now giving warnings to younger women that they should hedge their bets and not blindly believe everything about how others have presented life's "reality" to them, you might spare a care for the pain, loneliness, ostracism, and disappointment that this significant minority of women in that particular age group are going through. Twenty-five years from now, that this huge shift occurred in the lives of women who were born after the early 1960s will not be doubted. I am so grateful for my life, for the options I had, for my advanced education, for my international career. But the price was STEEP, and I didn't even know that I was going to be made to pay that price, because I never saw the contract. If you're of this age group and you have been lucky in life, or you are younger and you expect that you will be lucky and therefore these legitimate warnings don't apply to you, don't think that it's because you are somehow more reasonable, loveable, worthy, etc. than the ones who lost out: you're not.
@nantucketsunrise: All the examples of unfairness you list are the natural outcome of unbridled capitalism, and affect every generation, not just 40+ women.
"If you're of this age group and you have been lucky in life. . . don't think that it's because you are somehow more reasonable, loveable, worthy, etc. than the ones who lost out: you're not."
I don't think that - I think that I was lucky to grow up with a questioning curiosity, a healthy mistrust of authority and a lot of empathy for people less fortunate than I was, which politicized me at an early age. There is no way one could grow up in our generation and not be aware of the huge suffering caused by our rapacious capitalism around the world; once you are aware of it (as I became, at 17 or so), if you don't start questioning the system, you're either selfish or stupid. In the words of Frank Zappa: "If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it."
What seems odd to me is that Gottlieb seems to assume that because her married friends sometimes complain about their husbands, therefore they settled. Which is ridiculous! Most women I know of my parents' generation are happily married to men they were deeply in love with, but that doesn't mean their marriage will be flawlessly smooth. My father has been happily married twice (widowed), as has my stepmother (same), yet it is evident from my knowledge of their marriage, at least, that they sometimes disagree about parenting, get frustrated with each other, argue, and probably (if they are human) complain about these problems to their friends. Nevertheless, my mother and father were very much in love throughout their marriage, and I can tell my father and stepmother also love each other deeply. Maybe I'm lucky, but I'm surrounded by older women who have careers and who married men they loved and made their marriages work. Maybe that's why I think things could work out for me--not because I'm arrogant. I'm not looking for the perfect husband or career, anyway. I'm looking for a husband I love enough to work alongside my whole life, and a job I am challenged by and interested in. That is hardly impossible. #arrogance
@leslieannelevine: Yes, her understanding of human nature is stunted. Guess that's why her life didn't turn out as she expected. The fact she feels her experience is universal is yet more proof that she's out of touch with reality. #arrogance
You know what infuriates me? The relentless, underlying, unspoken assumption that all these difficulties are all internal. Whether a woman is married or single, working outside the home or only inside it (because we're always working) every choice made by these women - and by us - is made within the confines of an unyieldingly sexist culture.
IMHO, that's why there are always seemingly insurmountable problems with those choices.
And no one seems to want to talk about that part. #arrogance
@Rooo sez BISH PLZ: Paraphrased in a non-snarky fashion--I think that for many people, it's almost too much to contemplate without going mad, this entrenched sexism around "the Second Shift"/the sustainability of relationships/age/opportunity/looks/desirability wrt to women and middle age (and beyond). #arrogance
@Rooo sez BISH PLZ: Rooo identifies the unspoken secret that our problems are chiefly cultural and maybe in the long run, because of a rather rigid class structure, politically insurmountable. I can't see a way out except to hold on to a sort of independent niche while supporting and encouraging, whenever possible, our friends and loved ones. Sometimes it does feel as if nothing substantial really has changed in a thousand years, but I guess that is just my own exhaustion. That's why we need energetic and bold young ones to carry on. #arrogance
You know, I really don't get this kind of thinking. Life doesn't actually owe you anything. You're not owed happiness, or perfect contentment at all times, or a perfect anything.
Life ebbs and flows. Having choices is messy, but I'll take those choices and the ability to shape my own life over what you see happen to millions of people all over world who, through lack of opportunities, poverty, war, class, gender, or race, don't have any.
I mean, if you're surprised by the fact that life is sometimes disappointing, and sometimes you have regrets, and everything isn't a wonderful fairytale every second...then you missed something more than just being idealistic. You missed reality.
We're all going to get old and die. And you're going to be faced with choices and difficulties at every stage along the way. There's no magic wand that will make life awesome every second you live it. I think expecting that is a much larger problem than not "having it all". Which is different for each person anyway.
And frankly, if you spend all your time on "should haves" and regret, it's no wonder you feel disillusioned. Plus, life is not over after 40. My mother just turned 60, is going back to school, and just got her real estate license. If these women really do have all the opportunities, educations, and intelligence they say they do, then they're not nearly as stuck as someone who doesn't. #arrogance
11/12/09
How the hell does this make her a hypocrite?
This stinks of gleefully blaming the victim because you don't like her. She didn't release that fucking tape, some jerkwad betrayed her trust.
Her odious opinions do not make this magically ok. #sextapes
11/12/09
Earlier this year several teenage girls in Akron, Ohio were arrested for doing exactly what Prejean did. The point wasn't to send them to Leavenworth, but to inform the public that this is a serious offense. As we've seen, these images get passed around, and they often wind up in the hands of predators.
Prosecuting Preajean would go a long way toward combatting ignorance about this issue. Besides, she seems to be a good candidate for a lengthy period of community service. #sextapes
11/11/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/11/09
11/11/09
Not only was it boring, but clearly staged and managed to turn me off sex for quite some time. #sextapes
11/11/09
11/12/09
11/11/09
11/12/09
11/12/09
11/11/09
11/11/09
11/11/09
11/11/09
11/11/09
11/11/09
11/11/09
11/11/09
You mean honking the boat horn with his wang? #sextapes
11/11/09
10/22/09
They both rock, and have never once suggested feminism sold them a pup, or that I should just keel over now. They ground me and keep me sane, but also give comfort and support when I need it.
What women like Gottleib seem to not get is that, yes, shit will go wrong in your life, because that is what happens. Her pronouncements about relationships going wrong and life not quite working out how you thought it would are, how do I say this, stating the bleeding freaking obvious. Only a blind rabbit that has been kept underground forever and fed a diet of happy endings wouldn't realise that life doesn't always work out the way you think it will. It's the tag line on a million romantic movie posters, for god's sake. #arrogance
10/22/09
10/22/09
"If you're of this age group and you have been lucky in life. . . don't think that it's because you are somehow more reasonable, loveable, worthy, etc. than the ones who lost out: you're not."
I don't think that - I think that I was lucky to grow up with a questioning curiosity, a healthy mistrust of authority and a lot of empathy for people less fortunate than I was, which politicized me at an early age. There is no way one could grow up in our generation and not be aware of the huge suffering caused by our rapacious capitalism around the world; once you are aware of it (as I became, at 17 or so), if you don't start questioning the system, you're either selfish or stupid. In the words of Frank Zappa: "If you end up with a boring miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it."
10/21/09
10/22/09
10/21/09
IMHO, that's why there are always seemingly insurmountable problems with those choices.
And no one seems to want to talk about that part. #arrogance
10/21/09
cuz if not, you know, you're probably just bitter.
signed,
Society. #arrogance
10/21/09
10/21/09
10/21/09
Life ebbs and flows. Having choices is messy, but I'll take those choices and the ability to shape my own life over what you see happen to millions of people all over world who, through lack of opportunities, poverty, war, class, gender, or race, don't have any.
I mean, if you're surprised by the fact that life is sometimes disappointing, and sometimes you have regrets, and everything isn't a wonderful fairytale every second...then you missed something more than just being idealistic. You missed reality.
We're all going to get old and die. And you're going to be faced with choices and difficulties at every stage along the way. There's no magic wand that will make life awesome every second you live it. I think expecting that is a much larger problem than not "having it all". Which is different for each person anyway.
And frankly, if you spend all your time on "should haves" and regret, it's no wonder you feel disillusioned. Plus, life is not over after 40. My mother just turned 60, is going back to school, and just got her real estate license. If these women really do have all the opportunities, educations, and intelligence they say they do, then they're not nearly as stuck as someone who doesn't. #arrogance