Jack the Ripper’s Identity Revealed, Thanks to DNA Analysis

The 126-year-old mystery that has been the subject of countless investigations, books, movies, TV shows and general multigenerational fascination appears to have finally been solved. A forensic scientist claims he has proven the identity of Jack the Ripper, the notorious unidentified serial killer responsible of at… » 9/07/14 3:00pm 9/07/14 3:00pm

Two Little Girls Claim They're The Tiny Dancer In That NBC Viral Video

Sorry to sound all fusty and Tom Wolfe-ish, but it's nice to know that even in 2013, when teenage girls are getting pregnant in order to be on MTV and Princesses of Long Island is a show, and Kardashians happen, some people get famous because they're just irrepressible stars. Bright, shining motherfuckin' stars. » 7/27/13 1:00pm 7/27/13 1:00pm

The Anteater Baby Jesus Forgives You For Touching Yourself

Last month, Armani, a lady anteater at the LEO Zoological Conservation Center, gave birth to little Archie and mystified zoologists/the world, who had taken it upon themselves to cockblock Armani from their male anteater, Alf. Time-wise, Armani would have conceived when Alf was safely locked away in a separate pen. » 5/18/13 5:30pm 5/18/13 5:30pm

Florida Cat Goes on Real-Life Homeward Bound Catventure without Any…

If Homeward Bound already seems largely impossible, consider how impossible it would have seemed if it took place in Florida and Sassy had to find her way home all on her own because Shadow and Chance weren't in it. Could you have endured such a harrowing adventure, over the course of which Sassy would lose about… » 1/20/13 5:00pm 1/20/13 5:00pm

In Breaking Booze News, Birds Are Totally Down to Party

Birds, as you may or may not already be aware, love to party, and by "party" I of course mean eat fermented rowan berries until they die from alcohol poisoning. According to a Saturday report in the British Medical Journal's Veterinary Record, drunk birds react pretty much exactly as drunk people, if people had wings… » 11/04/12 4:01pm 11/04/12 4:01pm

Natalie Wood’s Death Certificate Quietly Changes from ‘Accident’ to…

Less than a year after the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department reopened the Natalie Wood 1981 drowning case, the L.A. County Coroner filed documents last month, changing Wood's cause of death from "accident" to "undetermined." Investigators had determined that some of the bruises found on Wood's body were… » 7/08/12 11:00am 7/08/12 11:00am

Town Is Beset by Mysterious Loud Booms, Wishes They Would Fucking Stop…

As you drift off to sleep tonight, angry that the toddler upstairs won't stop doing jumping jacks or that your next door neighbor's cat is in heat again, just remember that it could be worse. You could live in Clintonville, Wisconsin, where a series of mysterious booms has been occurring for the past few nights.… » 3/21/12 11:20pm 3/21/12 11:20pm

Detective Hillary Clinton Now Trying to Solve Amelia Earhart Mystery

Hillary Clinton, Secretary of State, former Presidential candidate, policy pioneer, passionate women's rights activist, and a real, live Leslie Knope for the world outside of Pawnee, IN, has decided to add another hat to the 50 or so she's already wearing: historical investigator. Thanks to new clues in the search for… » 3/20/12 4:30pm 3/20/12 4:30pm

Sandra Fluke 'Slut' Comments Mysteriously Vanish from Rush Limbaugh's…

Super genius Rush Limbaugh is handling the fallout from Slutgate in exactly the sort of mature, thoughtful, constructive way you'd expect a plagiarizing teen to handle being caught cheating on his homework — by erasing the evidence in a ham fisted manner and hoping that everyone will just forget about it. It seems… » 3/08/12 4:30pm 3/08/12 4:30pm

The Miller Sisters, 73-Year-Old Identical Twin Recluses, Die At…

Identical twin sisters Patricia and Joan Miller were born together, were deeply connected their whole lives, and it appears they even died together at the age of 73. Police found them dead in their home, and what they've been able to find out so far paints a sad but fascinating picture of a shared life. » 3/06/12 11:55pm 3/06/12 11:55pm

Worst Day at Work Ever: Real Estate Agent Walks Into House and Finds a…

Last month, a Milwaukee county employee walked into a house that had been repossessed because of a tax foreclosure and found a very disturbing sight: a dead body. It turned out to be the former home owner, David Carter, who had been in the dead in the house since 2007. Yikes. His body was "nearly skeletonized," and… » 2/07/12 9:30am 2/07/12 9:30am

The Curious Case of the Severed Head Hidden Under the Hollywood Sign


Something very strange and very creepy is afoot Los Angeles. Yesterday afternoon two women and their nine dogs were hiking beneath the iconic Hollywood sign that overlooks the city when they made a gruesome discovery: the severed head of a man in a plastic bag. Karen Rayner, a spokesperson for the LAPD, described the… » 1/18/12 9:05pm 1/18/12 9:05pm

White House Lawn Now Features Top Secret Gaping Hole

For the past 17 months a giant hole has been dug in front of the White House, leaving the pipes below the Oval Office exposed. It's one of Michelle's damn nutrition-police gardens gone awry, isn't it? Er, no. Government agencies insist they're just updating the building's air-conditioning and electrical systems, which… » 10/18/11 11:20am 10/18/11 11:20am

Who Was The Woman Who Got Carried Out Of Lindsay Lohan's Party On A…

Wednesday night, V magazine threw a party to launch its latest issue at the Standard hotel in Manhattan's meatpacking district. Men were asked to wear tuxedoes, ladies were asked to take dress code inspiration from Elizabeth Taylor, and Alexander Wang — whose moves none other than Ryan McGinley has praised — hit the… » 9/16/11 6:30pm 9/16/11 6:30pm