Taking a picture with an adorable monkey—what could possibly go wrong? Oh, pretty much everything.

Not gonna lie, this capuchin (named MonkeyBoo it appears) is kind of a jerk. But it's an adorable jerk, so I guess it's off the hook?

Ordinarily, I’d say, “Fear the monkey — it is intelligent enough to resent your human superiority and strong enough to seriously harm you,” but Benji the baby capuchin seems pretty stupid. I mean, how does he not know that he can’t breathe under water, right?? You’re so dumb and adorable, Benji! There’s no way…

Since not a single day can elapse between weird happenings in Florida, here we go: the "Mystery Monkey of Tampa Bay," previously regarded by area residents as a harmless, colorful accent in their otherwise dull daily lives, attacked a woman and is now being hunted by Florida wildlife officials.

Dr. Amy Bowman (right) talks with Blaire Bartlett from the office of Rep. Michael Grimm (R-NY) about her dog Monkey's weight at the Banfield State of Pet Health Staff Briefing, on Thursday, Sept. 20, 2012 at the Rayburn House Office Building in Washington, D.C. (Photo by Paul Morigi/Invision for Banfield Pet…

Just a few days after news that 125 Harvard students were under investigation for allegedly cheating on their cheating invitation take home exam, America's most illustrious and ivy-swaddled university has earned another ocular contusion — the Department of Agriculture has cited Harvard Medical School for mistreating…

NEW YORK, NY - MAY 14: Crystal the Monkey and actor Justin Kirk attend NBC's Upfront Presentation at Radio City Music Hall on May 14, 2012 in New York City. (Photo by Jemal Countess/Getty Images)

Earlier this week a zookeeper at Wuhan Zoo in China named Zhang Bangsheng put his tongue to work in a most unpleasant way to help a small monkey in need. The monkey, a Francois' langur, is just three months old and is a very rare specimen. Thus, he's worth going the extra mile for. (Not that all monkeys aren't worth…

A highly scientific study just completed right this second has shown that it's impossible to be unhappy about anything while watching a baby monkey and a kitten romp and wrestle. It's just too bad the dog doesn't get in on the action, or we'd have ourselves a permanent cure for all of life's problems.

A dressed monkey sits at a roadside to earn money from passers-by for his owner in Islamabad, Pakistan on Friday, Jan 13, 2012. (AP Photo/B.K.Bangash)

In a nice turn of events (for once!), last night an adorable squirrel monkey who'd been stolen from the San Francisco Zoo was returned to his owners unharmed after missing for two days. The monkey, whose name is Banana Sam (which might be the perfect monkey name) was "hungry, trembling and thirsty" when he was…

As part of its budding space program, Iran will soon be sending a monkey to space.

Aside from unfortunately patterned fabrics, the fashions weren't too bad at last night's premiere at Grauman's Chinese Theater. However, everyone on the red carpet was upstaged by a monkey.

It's that time again, when I take my leave of you guys. Thanks to Jessica Coen for inviting me back. And you know what to do below. [Image via Me-Liss-A on Flickr]

[Berg en Bos, The Netherlands. Image via Mirm on Flickr]

Li Chun, a Chinese farmer, saved a monkey's life by amputating its injured arm and leg. Now it's paying him back by copying everything he does, including cracking all his eggs, and killing his chickens after seeing Chun slaughter one.

[London, March 25. Image via Getty.]

Responding to criticism from the Initiative for Black Germans, the Dresden Zoo has changed the name of one of its baby mandrills from "Obama" to "Okeke" — unfortunately, also a common African surname. •

[Images via Let's Be Friends]

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