Oh, man. I ate whatever was appealing to me while pregnant, including all manner of cheese and cold cuts and steak. I also gained 35 pounds and had a glass of wine a week in my last month.
It's like everyone wants pregnant ladies to stop living and hermetically seal themselves in a fucking bubble for 9 months.
Fuck that noise. I'm not an incubator!
For the record, my baby boy was born healthy and nom-nommy.
I've been pregnant twice. I did absolutely *everything* right both times - no caffeine, no deli meats, and certainly no alcohol. And both times, I lost the baby.
Which makes me think that my mom - who by her own admission went through two pregnancies eating nothing but doughnuts and Kool-Aid - might have had the right idea after all.
@thatonegirlsays: One of my old co-workers just had her second child, and luckily had an AMAZING OB that pretty much told her that she was healthy going into the pregnancy, so keep it up!
So, she came to the bar with us (like, once every two months or something) and would have one beer and relax while hubs took care of their three-year-old for a couple hours. It was great for her to get out of the house, de-stress, reconnect with friends, etc.
@thatonegirlsays: The last time I saw a pregnant lady drink, there were two of them in their third trimesters getting tanked on rum-and-cokes while chain-smoking at the local steak joint/casino/karaoke bar in the farm town my dad grew up in. I've never seen anything like it-- nobody in the bar said a thing to them, and they got served repeatedly.
I don't give a shit if you have a glass of wine or whatever, but splitting a fifth of Morgan's with your friend while chaining Newports probably isn't the best thing.
@queenieinmanhattan: My mom smoked while pregnant, though she cut back as much as she could. Honestly, the stress of quitting would probably have been worse for me. Both my brother and I were healthy then and now!
I'm more concerned about the secondhand smoke I've gotten over the years...but what are you gonna do.
hello.kitty: It's challenging raising a son with ADD during this recession.
mama.kitty: You have it easy. I had to cook, clean, and work full-time while living with my in-law's house. I had no hired help. Your dad never changed a (cloth) diaper.
grandma.kitty: You are spoiled. I had to weave all our family's clothes, walked 30 miles to fetch water from the closest well, worked the rice paddies, squatted and delivered all my babies alone, and still had dinner ready for my husband when he came home.
I'll share an anecdote, and then get to the point:
A friend of mine is rather far along in her pregnancy, and she just had new carpet put in her house. She'd been home all day breathing in the fumes (from what I read, the smell is no biggie, but the glue they use that's evaporating in the first few hours isn't great for mom or baby). I wrestled between whether I should mention anything about it. People have been birthing time eternal, doing everything from horseback riding to smoking, while pregnant, and many times there's no issue, and really, it's not my business...But then again, I was concerned about her health and baby's health. She's been almost overly careful up to this point so I wondered what she was thinking. So I kind of jokingly brought it up, like...how could you be in the house with the fumes? But I didn't push it and really, the situation had already occured, so I let it go.
I suppose what we have to do is draw that line between genuine concern for the mother and baby's well-being and judgment calls that are based on societal standards of "proper" behavior for pregnant women. I just know it can sometimes be a very hard line to find.
@PreposterousHypothesis: I got new carpet last year. The fumes hang around for a couple days, but they are not toxic. And a bottle of Smells Begone or Febreeze usually helps. I'm sure she's got her windows open, too. So don't worry.
And for the record, my mom rode horseback with me until she was 8 months and couldn't fit behind the saddle anymore (gentle riding, not like galloping though mountain trails), so I'm really not an alarmist. :)
@PreposterousHypothesis: She'll be all right. I asked my doctor about that kind of thing--paint, carpeting--since we had just bought a new house, and she said that unless I did that kind of thing for a living, the risks from the chemical exposure were minimal.
My MIL, on the other hand, was horrified that I would even contemplate painting when I was pregnant. It was really about her. The very idea that I might inadvertently damage her grandchild!
@TheFormerJuneBronson: Mine was worried because I went to a concert. A big, stadium concert. I laughed. And then my son didn't pass his first hearing test in the hospital and I thought OMG, that bitch was right! (I actually love my MIL, and the boy's hearing is fine.)
@Maritsa: Mine didn't pass his either, and I was kind of freaked, because my sister's condition is genetic. But he's perfectly fine now. They were really careful to contextualize it for me, that a lot of babies don't pass right off, etc.
i live in nyc, am pregnant, and haven't encountered any of this. the only thing that's been grinding my gears are the assholes on the subway who won't give me a seat when my back hurts like a bitch.
@axel_f: My friend is six months pregnant now, and she has the SAME problem. She wonders if people are all, "if that woman isn't pregnant, and I give her my seat, am I insulting her?"
Which is hilarious, because she was maybe a size two before she got pregnant, so you KNOW she's pregnant.
@queenieinmanhattan: I actually think that way on a fairly regular basis. Because I've been offered a seat when I'm 99% sure the person though I was preggers, and it's really a bitch.
"I would ask you whether the baby needs that slice of cake. For that matter, I would ask if you do." -- Oh shit, doctor is gonna get cut! It is a brave human being who would say that within arm's reach of a pregnant lady.
@Fatwetdog: My MIL tells a story about when she was pregnant with Mr. Ipomoea and her doctor grabbed her waist and said "this isn't for the baby, this is just you", and she's been weight-paranoid since then. She raised three boys and has a big husband and only cooks in army-sized quantities, but rarely eats anything but veggies. And maybe a tiny slice of the 5 lbs of flank steak she made. It makes me crazy as I go back for seconds.
Sadie, while I generally agree with your statement that it's difficult, if not impossible for a mother to write objectively about pregnancy, I am fully in support of the author's view that the US medical system's take on what's okay during pregnancy is fiendishly skewed.
My general take on How Pregnancy Works is that what you take in, so does the baby. So yeah, not smoking is probably better, and getting drunk every night isn't a great idea. But if your body is taking in some nice Brie and peanut butter sandwiches and rare steak, and your body is responding by creating antibodies, then those antibodies get passed to the kid, too. (The cheese thing REALLY pisses me off. Cheeses in the US MUST be made from pasteurized milk if they're aged under 60 days, so your feta and brie and fresh goat cheeses are, by law, pasteurized. And the enzymes and chemical reactions in aged-over-60-days cheeses basically kills all the bad bugs anyway. BUT, there is no evidence that eating a raw-milk cheese is dangerous for mom OR fetus! HA!)
And, luckily, I know several OBs who've said in no uncertain terms that if NOT having a glass of wine once every couple of weeks is more stressful than having one, then go to! The stress is worse for the baby than an occasional glass of wine. Or caffeine withdrawal. Etc. Etc. ETC.
My sis-in-law had an NYC pregnancy and now she's an NYC mother, right down to selective preschooling. And she lives in Florida. I love my nephew, but.... for fuck's sake. We put far, far too much emphasis on what's 100% safe. If we don't expose our fetuses to our antibodies, they don't get antibodies. Then they're sick or have food allergies or any of a billion issues that weren't issues until our society made them issues.
(I feel rather strongly about this issue. Obviously.)
@elitza bleeds Cubbie blue: You rock. I told my Dad when I first concieved that the doctors told me no more feta or unpasteurized cheeses. He's a nutritionist and he said, 'That's bullshit. Eat as much feta as you want.' And I has.
And I really do believe it's better off for my baby to intake a little caffeine now and then from my every-other-day coca cola than having all those stress hormones flooded into his system from my headaches and caffeine withdrawals.
I did cut out coffee, green tea and other, stronger drinks, however.
Not gonna lie - I have a third trimester friend who is a realllly skinny pregnant lady. I get a little judgy because she's kind of always had food issues and I don't know if she is just a skinny pregnant lady or if she is restricting food intake because of the baby. I fall on the side that she is just a skinny pg lady. I think that anywhere between that and gestational diabetes is a fair zone. Eat at will, ladies.
@WaltzingMatilda(theOriginal): One of my besties is 14 weeks along with her second, and she's notorious for being a tiny pregnant lady-- when she was less than a month away from birth, she just looked like she'd swallowed a basketball. I know she's not restricting quantities, but she had gestational diabetes with her first and just did her glucose tests today and it's not looking like fun for her... no carbs or sweets for another six months.
My vegetarian-for-15-years-at-the-time mother became a rampant carnivore when she was up the duff! Eventually my gran had to move in in order to furnish her with adequate roast dinners!
This country almost fetishizes pregnancy. I haven't been pregnant for 7 years and I am still traumatized by half of the shit I had to deal with. I was too fat, my boobs weren't big enough, toxemia and bed rest are my fault.. Argh- I am all freaking wound up now.
Also, I'm really looking forward to freaking out the Prissy Pregnancy Posse. I'm going to start drinking water out of a vodka bottle--juuuuuuuuuuuuust to fuck with em. Mr. is already stoked to smack hands away from my stomach.
I'm close to seven months along and when I'm out to dinner, I have been ordering Virgin Mary's. It's kind of fun to watch poeple's reactions at the sight of me sipping on them.
Not that they aren't delicious and good for you, but I mostly order them to be a little sh*t.
04/08/09
It's like everyone wants pregnant ladies to stop living and hermetically seal themselves in a fucking bubble for 9 months.
Fuck that noise. I'm not an incubator!
For the record, my baby boy was born healthy and nom-nommy.
04/08/09
04/08/09
Which makes me think that my mom - who by her own admission went through two pregnancies eating nothing but doughnuts and Kool-Aid - might have had the right idea after all.
04/08/09
04/08/09
04/08/09
So, she came to the bar with us (like, once every two months or something) and would have one beer and relax while hubs took care of their three-year-old for a couple hours. It was great for her to get out of the house, de-stress, reconnect with friends, etc.
04/08/09
I don't give a shit if you have a glass of wine or whatever, but splitting a fifth of Morgan's with your friend while chaining Newports probably isn't the best thing.
04/08/09
04/08/09
She gave up the cigarettes when pregnant with my brother. He was ELEVEN POUNDS.
When he handed her the baby, her OB-GYN said, "Next time, Jane - smoke."
04/08/09
That is awesome.
04/08/09
04/08/09
I'm more concerned about the secondhand smoke I've gotten over the years...but what are you gonna do.
04/08/09
04/08/09
mama.kitty: You have it easy. I had to cook, clean, and work full-time while living with my in-law's house. I had no hired help. Your dad never changed a (cloth) diaper.
grandma.kitty: You are spoiled. I had to weave all our family's clothes, walked 30 miles to fetch water from the closest well, worked the rice paddies, squatted and delivered all my babies alone, and still had dinner ready for my husband when he came home.
04/08/09
04/08/09
A friend of mine is rather far along in her pregnancy, and she just had new carpet put in her house. She'd been home all day breathing in the fumes (from what I read, the smell is no biggie, but the glue they use that's evaporating in the first few hours isn't great for mom or baby). I wrestled between whether I should mention anything about it. People have been birthing time eternal, doing everything from horseback riding to smoking, while pregnant, and many times there's no issue, and really, it's not my business...But then again, I was concerned about her health and baby's health. She's been almost overly careful up to this point so I wondered what she was thinking. So I kind of jokingly brought it up, like...how could you be in the house with the fumes? But I didn't push it and really, the situation had already occured, so I let it go.
I suppose what we have to do is draw that line between genuine concern for the mother and baby's well-being and judgment calls that are based on societal standards of "proper" behavior for pregnant women. I just know it can sometimes be a very hard line to find.
04/08/09
04/08/09
And for the record, my mom rode horseback with me until she was 8 months and couldn't fit behind the saddle anymore (gentle riding, not like galloping though mountain trails), so I'm really not an alarmist. :)
04/08/09
My MIL, on the other hand, was horrified that I would even contemplate painting when I was pregnant. It was really about her. The very idea that I might inadvertently damage her grandchild!
04/08/09
04/08/09
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04/08/09
Which is hilarious, because she was maybe a size two before she got pregnant, so you KNOW she's pregnant.
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04/08/09
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04/08/09
My general take on How Pregnancy Works is that what you take in, so does the baby. So yeah, not smoking is probably better, and getting drunk every night isn't a great idea. But if your body is taking in some nice Brie and peanut butter sandwiches and rare steak, and your body is responding by creating antibodies, then those antibodies get passed to the kid, too. (The cheese thing REALLY pisses me off. Cheeses in the US MUST be made from pasteurized milk if they're aged under 60 days, so your feta and brie and fresh goat cheeses are, by law, pasteurized. And the enzymes and chemical reactions in aged-over-60-days cheeses basically kills all the bad bugs anyway. BUT, there is no evidence that eating a raw-milk cheese is dangerous for mom OR fetus! HA!)
And, luckily, I know several OBs who've said in no uncertain terms that if NOT having a glass of wine once every couple of weeks is more stressful than having one, then go to! The stress is worse for the baby than an occasional glass of wine. Or caffeine withdrawal. Etc. Etc. ETC.
My sis-in-law had an NYC pregnancy and now she's an NYC mother, right down to selective preschooling. And she lives in Florida. I love my nephew, but.... for fuck's sake. We put far, far too much emphasis on what's 100% safe. If we don't expose our fetuses to our antibodies, they don't get antibodies. Then they're sick or have food allergies or any of a billion issues that weren't issues until our society made them issues.
(I feel rather strongly about this issue. Obviously.)
04/08/09
And I really do believe it's better off for my baby to intake a little caffeine now and then from my every-other-day coca cola than having all those stress hormones flooded into his system from my headaches and caffeine withdrawals.
I did cut out coffee, green tea and other, stronger drinks, however.
04/08/09
04/08/09
04/08/09
Ugh, I hate those parents. Your 4 year old is just as cute and stupid as all the other 4 year olds.
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04/08/09
04/08/09
My vegetarian-for-15-years-at-the-time mother became a rampant carnivore when she was up the duff! Eventually my gran had to move in in order to furnish her with adequate roast dinners!
04/08/09
04/08/09
Argh- I am all freaking wound up now.
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04/08/09
I'm close to seven months along and when I'm out to dinner, I have been ordering Virgin Mary's. It's kind of fun to watch poeple's reactions at the sight of me sipping on them.
Not that they aren't delicious and good for you, but I mostly order them to be a little sh*t.
04/08/09