Mitt Romney Is the World's Greatest Grandpa. Seriously.

The fewer political things he does, the more likable Mitt Romney is. Case in point: his new gig blogging about being a curious, hiking adventure guy who takes his grandkids on educational vacations through the American West like he's earning every particle of that WORLD'S BEST GRANDPA coffee mug he probably drinks… » 7/29/14 1:30pm 7/29/14 1:30pm

Mitt Romney Is Too Busy Killing Muppets to Answer Kids' Interview…

In case you missed it: Less than a week after threatening to murder Big Bird and then chuckling about it in front of millions of horrified but oddly entranced Americans, Presidential Candi-bot Mitt Romney has dealt another overly theatrical middle finger to the kids in America — he's become only the third candidate in… » 10/09/12 1:35pm 10/09/12 1:35pm

Babies Kind of Hate Mitt Romney

There are few things more embarrassing than being asked to hold someone else's baby only to have that baby immediately explode into hysterics. Chalk it up to the widely accepted notion that small children — like dogs and horses and Jedi — somehow possess an extrasensory level of bullshit detection lost to normal adult… » 9/28/12 3:20pm 9/28/12 3:20pm

Mitt Romney Is Actually a Heartthrob Superhero, You Guys

Now that voters are losing confidence in Mitt Romney the Brilliant Businessman and Mitt Romney the Tough Statesman, the campaign can't exactly fall back on the old "he's nice!" trope — "nice" is hardly enough to excite voters enough to get them queueing up for the voting booth in the same numbers they queued up for… » 9/26/12 1:00pm 9/26/12 1:00pm

Did Mitt Romney Seriously Just Wear Brownface to Appear on Univision?

Last night, Mitt Romney appeared on Univision to promote his flailing candidacy to a group of Americans that pretty strongly doesn't like him: Latinos. But wait a gosh darn second — Mittens looked suspiciously, dramatically tanner and oranger than he normally looks. Could it be that his makeup artist was trying to… » 9/20/12 3:20pm 9/20/12 3:20pm

Proud Amercian Mitt Romney Invites Voters to take a 'Sneak-Peak' at…

After the Romney campaign released an iPhone ap that allowed users to superimpose "A BETTER AMERCIA" over pictures of things like dogs tied to roofs of cars or gay kids with gay haircuts, one would think that the GOP Presidential nominee would make sure its digital i's were dotted and t's crossed. But Mitt Romney is… » 6/04/12 1:50pm 6/04/12 1:50pm

Romney Claims Obama Is Anti-Woman, Awkwardly Fails to Back It Up

Have you spit-taked yet today? Because Mitt Romney has dropped a revelation that will blow your face right off: it's not Republicans who have been attacking women's rights — it's been President Obama this whole time. Why? Because Mitt Romney says, that's why. And who needs data and facts to back up assertions when… » 4/12/12 2:10pm 4/12/12 2:10pm

Your Handy Guide To Presidential Candidate Dickery

That scrappy ragtag gang of hateful losers who want to be the Republican nominee for President gathered together to talk at America last night in the last debate of the year. And, like in every other televised argument these clowns have had, they used their respective opportunities in the spotlight to remind America… » 12/16/11 11:00am 12/16/11 11:00am