Jocks Who Secretly Filmed Sex With Teen Girl Score Child Porn Charges

Two players for the top junior hockey league in the US have been charged with making and distributing child pornography after one of them secretly filmed the other having sex with a 15-year-old girl and then sent the video to a bunch of friends via social media, thereby becoming the literal incarnation of the phrase… » 6/25/14 5:40pm 6/25/14 5:40pm

Burglars Butt-Dial 911 in the Middle Of a Robbery

Butt dialing, it happens to everyone. Sometimes you're on the receiving end (I once listened to my cousin try to pick up some "fly honeys" at a bar) and sometimes you're on the giving end. No matter how you slice it, it's always an awkward situation. And it was particularly awkward for two men who tried to rob an auto… » 4/12/14 12:26pm 4/12/14 12:26pm

89-Year-Old Woman Called 'Flirt' by Nursing Home After Reporting Rape

In a story that's as completely horrifying as it is infuriating, an 89-year-old resident of a senior living home in Northern Minnesota was raped by her caretaker. Her appalling treatment didn't stop there, though: after reporting her assault, she was sent to a psychiatric ward and kept in solitary for three days; she… » 2/25/14 1:00pm 2/25/14 1:00pm

US Not Ready For a Woman President, Says Woman Who Ran For President

Minnesota Congressman Michele Bachmann has issued her edict on the chances Hillary Clinton's theoretical campaign would have during a theoretical 2016 election: not good. Mostly because America simply isn't ready for a female President. I bet the schmucks who donated to Bachmann's 2012 Presidential campaign feel… » 2/20/14 1:30pm 2/20/14 1:30pm

Why Not Celebrate Your 45th Birthday With a 45-Person Gang Bang?

On my 19th birthday, I spent several hours driving aimlessly around Albuquerque in a blue 1982 Dodge Ram listening to Jimmy Eat World on a Discman before I got lost in the South Valley and stopped to buy cigarettes, which I proceeded smoked so greedily that I threw up in a gravel parking lot. I was a virgin. The… » 8/06/13 4:10pm 8/06/13 4:10pm

The First Gay Couples Who Got Married in Minnesota Will Make You Smile

Even if you've got the cold, bitter heart of someone ruined by years of endless OKCupid dates, photos of gay people getting married always make quick work at melting those icy walls away. Case in point: looking at the many couples that stayed up overnight to be the first to get married in Minnesota, where gay marriage… » 8/01/13 10:25am 8/01/13 10:25am

Real-Life Jeff Winger Lawyer Billed Client for That Time They Had Sex

People joke about all the time about how soulless and awful lawyers are, but sometimes they really are soulless and awful. Case in point: a Minnesota attorney recently faced some serious disciplinary action when it was discovered that he’d taken a page out of Bluth family attorney Barry Zuckerhorn’s lawyerbook and… » 5/12/13 6:00pm 5/12/13 6:00pm

Conservative Lobbyists Realize That Marriage Equality Needs to Happen

A newish vanguard of more reasonable (or realistic) Republican donors is trying to catch up with history by funding lobbying efforts to get GOP lawmakers to support same-sex marriage. That's right, American voters — some Republicans are actually self-aware enough to realize that their party is straddling a chasm of… » 4/28/13 2:30pm 4/28/13 2:30pm

Lena Dunham's Pro-Obama Ad Brought to You by Russia & Satan, Says…

Lena Dunham's pro-doin' it with Obama (voting that is!) ad has made me fall a little bit in love with her and conservatives shoot a little bit of irate steam out of their ears. But no GOP'er freaked out more hilariously than Minnesota Republican party deputy chair Kelly Fenton, who reminded us today that Dunham's ad… » 10/27/12 3:00pm 10/27/12 3:00pm

Michele Bachmann's Gay Stepsister Probably Won't Be Inviting the…

Michele Bachmann has been one of the loudest, shoutiest shouters in favor of an amendment to the Minnesota state constitution that would define marriage as a legal union between one man and one woman. Unsurprisingly, Bachmann's gay stepsister Helen LaFave is displeased with the Congresswoman's foaming homophobic… » 10/15/12 2:45pm 10/15/12 2:45pm

Fare Thee Well? Michele Bachmann Suddenly in Danger of Losing Her…

After unseating herself from the cool Republicans' table earlier this month with accusations that Huma Abedin knew someone who knew someone who was friends with a guy who once heard that someone he sat next to at an Applebee's was involved with the Muslim Brotherhood, Michele Bachmann might very well lose her… » 9/11/12 9:30am 9/11/12 9:30am

Service-y Bar Installs Pregnancy Test Vending Machine in Bathroom

Taking a pregnancy test can be a nerve-wracking, stomach-churning, mindfucking experience. As such, the best way for a lady to calm her Am I Pregnant? jitters is to head on down to her local pub, knock back a few girly drinks, and then, when she's just about three sheets to the wind, head to the restroom, where she… » 7/19/12 7:15pm 7/19/12 7:15pm