If you're anything like me (MILLENNIAL), then you're familiar with our litany of monolithic generational traits — we're all very lazy and entitled. We'd Tase our own mothers in order to get our hands on the newest Apple doodad gadgetamabob. We sext Snapchats to the Kardashians. Teen Mom. Um. Occupy Twilight. Buttsex.
Millennials are drinking more wine than the lame-os of generations past, and it's changing the face of the industry. And they said we'd never accomplish anything!
Elizabeth Wurtzel is pissed at today's youth—which she dubs "the lamest generation"—because they suck at being in their 20s. And she should know, because she's 46. Or something? Also, she finds Lena Dunham's thighs "inexcusable." Can 60 Minutes just give her Andy Rooney's vacated segment already?
Controversial opinion alert: I don't hate Fox & Friends. Even more controversial opinion alert: I sort of love it. I love it the same way I love The Three Stooges or a group of drunk clowns who won't stop hitting each other in the heads with comedically large hammers. It's a ridiculous circus enacted by performers who…
A group of 15 self-described "young professionals" in their twenties — the guys work in finance, the girls in fashion — paid $40,000 to party in an East Hampton home this summer. It was "the BEST summer of my entire life," one told us. Their landlord has a different take. "She clearly was not expecting people to party,"…
Ah, another day, another trend piece about how basically everybody between the ages of 18 and 34 is an indolent jerk unwilling or unable to fully fledge and leave the parental nest, where things like premium cable and assorted breakfast cereals can be had for the price of awkward mealtime conversations about life…
Sorry, trend-piece writers, you sweet and clueless scribes: it's really, really time to cast aside your moral panic and that blunt reed you were planning on using to inscribe upon a clay tablet a record of the strange mating habits of the college-aged millennial. "Hookup culture" is just not a thing.
Even though we’ve been hearing about the retirement fund-sapping tendencies of millennial twenty-somethings since the housing market bottomed out like a Camaro doing sixty over a school-zone speed bump, a recently-released study from the Pew Research Center suggests that, even in the post-recession zombie economy, more …
Millennials are always on the cool new trends — pickling stuff that isn't normally pickled, taking kooky Vines, wearing hats in the summer, etc. But arguably the new hottest millennial trend of all is inheriting an imploding economy and then moving in with one's parents due to crushing student loans debt.
Not content to leave all those trend pieces to its rival the Grey Lady, the Wall Street Journal joins us this week to let the world know that millennials like to text and Gchat with their moms, especially while at work. Click out of this box and get over to your email to send this link to the woman that birthed you…
I'm not a mother, but as far as I can tell, writing about motherhood is sort of like writing about feminism: There's no real right answer, it's been complicated by years of movements and counter-movements, and you're bound to elicit disapproval regardless of what your stance is. Like, obviously. I'm not telling you…
Right now, there's nothing trendier than writing trend pieces about the terribleness of millennials. But if you're a journalist on deadline hoping to jump on the shit-on-the-youths train, there are some important things you should know first.
A new study on millennials finds that guys are more comfortable with adopting women's grooming habits, wearing their fashions, and using their products—including makeup
Oh, dear. McDonald's — that small roadside fast food joint founded by brothers Richard and Maurice McDonald in the 1940s — is in danger of losing money because we sassy, CSA-joining millennials are no longer interested in what the chain has to offer. Basically, McDonald's has become your grandparents, calling and…
Many Millennial dudes are down with the ideas of girls ruling the world, but some aren't so sure about all the freebies women are being handed just because of their concave nether regions. After all, couldn't this all end in ladies controlling all the powerful and prestigious jobs, earning more money for doing the…
Unpaid internships are becoming a more and more sadly prominent fixture in the life of college students and recent college grads. Oftentimes, they feature batshit insane bosses, demeaning tasks, and/or a the gradual deflation of a young individual's dreams. Sometimes they feature office pets who are better treated…
Unpaid internships: the sad fate of scores of millennials who were foolishly led to believe that the four years they spent majoring in Victorian Studies and beer pong would prepare them for the harsh reality of entering the work force. Nearly every person who's ever had to suffer through an intern's daily unpaid…
If you're going to write about how self-involved Millennials are, you'd better be prepared for that generation to complain about you on all forms of social media. Or you might have asked for the piece to be written because you're a totally brilliant editor who enjoys traffic trolling. At least, that's what many people …
Everyone likes to talk shit abut Millennials. Old fogeys are always like, "You don't know the value of a dollar and a hard day's work!" Hey, all you oldies. As a millennial, I know what hard work looks like. One time, my parents didn't get me an iPhone when they just came out even though I worked really hard as a…
Are you guys as worried about the Millennials as I am? Lately, they've seemed, I don't know, kinda down. Maybe they're depressed? Getting their collective generation-wide period? All I know is that you can't throw an e-cigarette-shaped dart without hitting another handwringing study wondering what will happen to them:…
Millennials just can't seem to ever get their shit together. They're probably the first generation in, I don't know, FOREVER to feel a sense of directionless angst when they enter young adulthood and have to stop ironically collecting action figures and frequenting their local orgy pits. Certainly the trauma of…
The way we live now: it takes a B.A. to find a job as a file clerk, according to the New York Times, which declared today that the college degree is the new high school diploma.
Looking to the lifestyles of twenty-somethings as an indication of what's broken or wrong with our society is a time-honored tradition, and it's only gotten worse considering that we millennials (yes, I'm one of them, sorry) have been largely defined both by our tendency to overshare and access to the technology that…
Columbia University's The Eye convinced Delta Sigma Phi brother Phil Ross to take an hour off "from preparing for investment banking interviews" to discuss the "romantic framework of the 'fraternity man.'" Oh no. His response? It's all about supply and demand, bro.
What's the difference between being broke and poor? Nona Willis Aronowitz breaks it down for us in The Nation, using Girls's Hannah and Shameless's Fiona as examples: both women work in the service industry, but the former is indignant while the other is resigned. The most fascinating part of her piece is the…
Silicon Valley has a "dirty secret," according to Reuters: age bias. We don't know if we'd call it a secret, exactly — it's pretty common knowledge that startups like to hire wunderkinds who are fresh out of college (or didn't even make it to graduation) who have few responsibilities other than staying up all night,…
HarperCollins just signed Cora Carmack, the author of Losing It, a book about a 22-year-old who tries to lose her virginity during her senior year of college, to a three-book deal for a sum in the "high six figures." According to the New York Times, Carmack's book is in "an emerging area of the market that publishers…
NBC is adapting Emma Koenig's — yes, she of the New York Times trend piece
We couldn't come up with a way to cover this New York Observer interview with self-described "millennial expert" Chelsea Krost, who is only 21 years old but already somewhat of an established spokesperson on all things teen and twenty-something, without being really, really mean. So we'll let Krost speak for herself.…
A casual perusal of our finest, financially destitute journalistic publications will most likely yield some pretty dismal information about the economy and how god-awful it is. The economy is so bad, we are told, that it is going out of its way to destroy an entire generation's hopes and dreams — millennials, as it…
