• Jezebel
  • celebrity
  • sex
  • fashion
  • Profile logout login

#midweekmadness#lab2

Jezebel

Share Cancel
   
Upload an image | Add an image URL
×

logging in
  • FAQ. Include # before tag:
  • #tips,
  • #snapjudgment,
  • #groupthink,
  • etc.

New York, 7:43 PM
Mon Nov 30
56 posts in the last 24 hours

Tip your editors:
tips@jezebel.com

Editor-in-Chief:
Anna Holmes
Email | Twitter

Deputy Editor:
Dodai Stewart
Email | Twitter

Senior Contributing Editor:
Tracie Egan
Email | Twitter

Contributing Editors:
Anna North
Email | Twitter
Sadie Stein
Email | Twitter

Reporter:
Irin Carmon
Email | Twitter

Editorial Assistant:
Margaret Hartmann
Email | Twitter

Contributors:
Rich Juzwiak
Email | Twitter
Latoya Peterson
Email
Jenna Sauers
Email
Lizzie Skurnick
Email

Interns:
Katy Kelleher
Twitter


Weekends/Commenter Moderator:
Hortense
Email | Twitter

SUBSCRIBE TO Jezebel RSS

New: Breaking news and daily top stories via email
1770 Subscribers
Jezebel
  • Your version of Internet Explorer is not supported. Please upgrade to the most recent version in order to view comments.
    Dsmvwl  Admin  Promote to frontpage Approve user Ban user ×
    Image of VoxPopuli VoxPopuli
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    So...Ashlee's eyes in frame 10. What's going on there? Are they actually looking in two directions? She looks possessed.

    Also, I assume that Nicole and Penelope have probably met before - Hollywood is a small town, really. I'm sure they've already swapped Tom Cruise stories before working together, which is why they're not talking about them now. Not because women always have to talk about their exes, but you know - there's always that one really weird ex that you're dying to swap stories about.
     Reply
    VoxPopuli was starred VoxPopuli was unstarred
    Image of Snowbunny Snowbunny
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    J. Lo just set a new level of sexy face in slide 10. Can Megan Fox rise to the challenge?
     Reply
    Snowbunny was starred Snowbunny was unstarred
    Image of BlueMorpho BlueMorpho
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    I never knew that my thumbs were freaky. Thanks, In Touch!
     Reply
    whynotshesaid promoted this comment BlueMorpho was starred BlueMorpho was unstarred
    Image of whynotshesaid whynotshesaid
    11/27/09

    @BlueMorpho: Oh wow, I had no idea that I was not the only one in the world with these freaky thumbs. I feel so validated now.
     Reply
    whynotshesaid was starred whynotshesaid was unstarred
    Image of FrannyR FrannyR
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    If everyone whose kids like pirates would hook up, society would collapse because the world would turn into one giant orgie
     Reply
    J.D.Regent promoted this comment FrannyR was starred FrannyR was unstarred
    Image of R_Claw R_Claw
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    I now want a calendar where each month there's a different dog reading a different tell-all book about a different celebrity. I think this is genius.
     Reply
    R_Claw was starred R_Claw was unstarred
    Image of funzette funzette
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    "Carey told Shia that Keira warned her that he's a player, which enraged Shia, because he's really genuine. "

    Shia, you'll always be a damaged norseman mascot to me, and I tend to doubt the veracity of tabloid anecdotes, but most "genuine" people don't get "enraged" when someone calls them "a player".
     Reply
    Edited by funzette at 11/25/09 3:58 PM funzette was starred funzette was unstarred
    Image of f_t_e f_t_e
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    I wish someone would 'ruin' Christmas for me by taking me to Vietnam.

    Also, I am impressed that In Touch didn't go ahead and put REMEMBER WHEN HEATH LEDGER DIED? under Michelle Williams face.
     Reply
    Dodai promoted this comment f_t_e was starred f_t_e was unstarred
    Image of applejuice applejuice
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    I wanna hear about "Angie and Brad's Obama Battle" in Us.

    Ever since I heard Jolie say how she lurrrrved Ayn Rand and that the Fountainhead was great and "changed" her life, I have felt she probably shares some of her father's political views...

    If I were betting I'd say she's a Libertarian and she's the one who dislikes Obama.
     Reply
    applejuice was starred applejuice was unstarred
    Image of SybilDisobedience SybilDisobedience
    11/25/09

    @applejuice: I've read from some other sources that she does not like Obama at all, and Brad's a supporter, so they duke it out over their differences. Doesn't surprise me a bit - like you say, I think she's more conservative than her general public image would dictate.
     Reply
    SybilDisobedience was starred SybilDisobedience was unstarred
    Image of kookla kookla
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    The last time I had steamy sex in the shower, I slipped and busted my ass bone. Then I couldn't do anything for 6 months. Even now I prefer baths.
     Reply
    kookla was starred kookla was unstarred
    Image of hollygirl hollygirl
    11/25/09

    @kookla: A friend of mine broke his penis fucking in the shower- he had the girl in his arms with her legs around him and she slipped pff mid-thrust and his dick cracked. He was kind of never the same after that.
     Reply
    Edited by hollygirl at 11/25/09 3:38 PM hollygirl was starred hollygirl was unstarred
    Image of jigglyball jigglyball
    11/25/09

    @kookla: Good lord, I'm glad I'm not the only one who's shower sex-challenged. Until I can install footstools, never-slip bath mats, handles of varying heights, and padded walls in my shower, I will be boning elsewhere.
     Reply
    jigglyball was starred jigglyball was unstarred
    Image of Lysergic Asset Lysergic Asset
    11/25/09

    @hollygirl: I just read that to my boyfriend, who has suddenly decided to swear off having sex in the shower.
     Reply
    Lysergic Asset was starred Lysergic Asset was unstarred
    Image of hollygirl hollygirl
    11/25/09

    @Lysergic Asset: Happy to help. I imagine he's grabbing his package and wincing right now, yes?

    #tips
     Reply
    hollygirl was starred hollygirl was unstarred
    Image of Lysergic Asset Lysergic Asset
    11/25/09

    @hollygirl: We were both wincing as I read it. Poor guy. (Your friend, that is.)

    #tips
     Reply
    Lysergic Asset was starred Lysergic Asset was unstarred
    Image of kookla kookla
    11/25/09

    @hollygirl: I didn't even know they can break! Not that I haven't come close!

    @jigglyball: Another bit of advice, make sure your partner is muscular. Skinny people don't have the upper body strength.

    #tips
     Reply
    kookla was starred kookla was unstarred
    Image of Chuck Basketcase Chuck Basketcase
    11/25/09

    @hollygirl: I know it's wrong, but I'm laughing hysterically over this story.
     Reply
    hollygirl promoted this comment Chuck Basketcase was starred Chuck Basketcase was unstarred
    Image of Snowbunny Snowbunny
    11/25/09

    @jigglyball: Old people used to live in my house, so my bathroom is full of safety handles. It's amazing for doing things like shaving legs. I've never fucked in the shower, but I feel confident I can do it in my shower.
     Reply
    Snowbunny was starred Snowbunny was unstarred
    Image of goodcheapfun goodcheapfun
    11/26/09

    @kookla: I wouldn't surrender my life to anyone holding me up in the shower. You keep one leg on the floor and than have at it. I recommend it.
     Reply
    kookla promoted this comment goodcheapfun was starred goodcheapfun was unstarred
    Image of hollygirl hollygirl
    11/27/09

    @Chuck Basketcase: Oh, all of his friends howled for months.
     Reply
    hollygirl was starred hollygirl was unstarred
    Image of kookla kookla
    11/29/09

    @goodcheapfun: I'm going to have to do more lunges to build up my skinny ankles.
     Reply
    kookla was starred kookla was unstarred
    Image of JennaW JennaW
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    They don't spend their downtime talking about Tom?! But what else could women possibly discuss but mutual exes? I call bullshit!
     Reply
    JennaW was starred JennaW was unstarred
    Image of eatsshootsleaves eatsshootsleaves
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    The only things I hope are true in these magazines is the reading dog and Britney letting her kids draw on her wall, which is kind of awesome.
     Reply
    eatsshootsleaves was starred eatsshootsleaves was unstarred
    Image of LadyBossyBoots LadyBossyBoots
    11/25/09

    @eatsshootsleaves: It is awesome; we made a special wall in our apartment for the kidlet to draw on and it rocked.

    ...and how the hell does kids drawing on the wall cause "thousands in damage"? A bottle of 409 is cheap, or in extreme cases, some touch up paint.
     Reply
    eatsshootsleaves promoted this comment LadyBossyBoots was starred LadyBossyBoots was unstarred
    Image of itsonreserve itsonreserve
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    Hold up....WHERE THE FUCK IS PACEY?
     Reply
    jigglyball promoted this comment itsonreserve was starred itsonreserve was unstarred
    Image of jigglyball jigglyball
    11/25/09

    @itsonreserve: Happily coupled with Diane Kruger, wintering somewhere fabulous?
     Reply
    jigglyball was starred jigglyball was unstarred
    Image of itsonreserve itsonreserve
    11/25/09

    @jigglyball: Oh no are they hiding from the curse? I hope Fringe is the reversal.
     Reply
    itsonreserve was starred itsonreserve was unstarred
    Image of Chuck Basketcase Chuck Basketcase
    11/25/09

    @jigglyball: ooh ooh, I saw them in Vancouver this summer. They were holding hands!
     Reply
    jigglyball promoted this comment Chuck Basketcase was starred Chuck Basketcase was unstarred
    Image of lalaland13 lalaland13
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    In my screenplay, the man opens up the shower door and the woman sighs and says, "Dude, I'm all soapy now and if we start hitting it right here, I'm gonna get a rash and be itchy all damn day. So let me wash off, OK? Then wait for me in the bedroom-this whole taking me against the wall thing never works as well as you think it does. It's damned uncomfortable."
     Reply
    Edited by lalaland13 at 11/25/09 3:09 PM lalaland13 was starred lalaland13 was unstarred
    Image of Snowbunny Snowbunny
    11/25/09

    @lalaland13: Later on, in Act II, the woman is eating cereal at the kitchen table. The man walks in donning a matadors costume and seductively clears the table, flinging the cereal box off in the process, creating a gigantic mess. The woman is forced to vacuum even though she just did it yesterday and the couple doesn't talk for the rest of the week.
     Reply
    Snowbunny was starred Snowbunny was unstarred
    Image of lonewolfer: lusty trollop lonewolfer: lusty trollop
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    This was one of the most hilarious Dirt Bags ever.
    - Jen texting 2 good 4 u
    - The Dawson's Creek 'curse'
    - Penelope and Nicole 'breaking free'
    - The idea that there are roles for Nicole Richie to turn down
    - The list of similarities between Angie and Johnny
    - And the best one of all: "No yams in Ho Chi Min city"
    Awesomeness
     Reply
    Dodai promoted this comment lonewolfer: lusty trollop was starred lonewolfer: lusty trollop was unstarred
    Image of BetteD BetteD
    11/25/09

    @lonewolfer: lusty trollop: Don't forget: ..."Since...they are both Geminis, it is clear the must fuck while filming." lmao!
     Reply
    BetteD was starred BetteD was unstarred
    Image of SUNNY1 SUNNY1
    11/25/09

    In reply to This Week In Tabloids: Jolie & Johnny Destined To Fornicate
    I've read better love scenes than that Angelina/Johnny one in Harlequin books. "Slithery"? Really? How is that sexy? She sounds like a snake.
     Reply
    SUNNY1 was starred SUNNY1 was unstarred
    Earlier discussions Other discussions Show all discussions Show featured discussions only Start a new discussion

Login

Enter your username and password.

Please enter a username.
Please enter your password.
logging in
Login via Facebook | Sign Up | Forgot Password?

Reset Password

Please enter your email address to have your password reset.

Please enter your email address.
Please enter a valid email address.
requesting password reset

Register

Registering will give you a user profile and the ability to add other users as friends. To become a commenter, however, you need to audition.

Want to know more? Consult the Comment FAQ and legal terms.

Please enter a username.
Please enter a password.
Please confirm your password.
Passwords are not identical.
Please enter a valid email address.
registration sent, waiting for reply

Submit Your Comment

You don't need to login to comment. Just enter your email address below.

See how your address will be displayed in the Comment FAQ.

Please enter a valid email address.
Please enter a valid email address.
logging in

Login with your Facebook or Jezebel account.

Sign up here.



  • Archives
  • About
  • Advertising
  • Legal
  • Help
  • Report a Bug
  • FAQ
Original material is licensed under a Creative Commons License permitting non-commercial sharing with attribution.